The offbeat bride: Janelle, Arts Administrator (and Tribe member)
Her offbeat partner: Bobby, Apple Technician
Date and location of wedding: Calamigos Ranch, Malibu, CA — January 28, 2012
Our offbeat wedding at a glance: Our wedding had some traditional elements with hints of nerdy fun. I'm a hopeless romantic and so is Bobby, really. So the tradition of standing in front of our family and closest friends and speaking vows aloud to each other was actually more important than either of us thought before having the planning discussions. Above all else, we wanted to have fun at our wedding and we wanted everyone else to have fun.
Tell us about the ceremony: Our ceremony was much more traditional than I ever imagined it would be. Neither Bobby or I are very religious, but we wanted an officiant who was excellent at public speaking. Also, I realized that getting married for me was a ritual I wanted to experience and a very emotional one.
Bobby and I didn't really trust ourselves to give proper weight to our words without help from a "professional." We chose a minister who was very respectful of our limited religious views and he emphasized all the important things about our new adventure together: our love, our partnership, equality, and the support of our family and friends. He brought humor and joy into the ceremony, which is such an important aspect to our relationship.
Our biggest challenge: The biggest challenge of the planning process was constructive communication. I spent hours a day (almost all of them) thinking about the wedding, the people involved, the details, the marriage afterward, clothes, candles, etc., that when it came time to actually get things done, I had to learn how to communicate my thoughts, listen to everyone else's thoughts, desires, needs, and turn all of it into a functional day. I had it all worked out in my brain, but those details didn't include my fiance's wishes for his family's involvement, and his expectations of the day. The best way I found to help myself, was to write it all out. Make lists, collect photos, journal on the Offbeat Bride Tribe, and sit the interested parties down and just talk.
My favorite moment: The most meaningful moment of the wedding was standing at the altar, and having my husband stare with such love in his eyes, that all my bridesmaids weeped the whole time!
I'd say the runner-up was the surprise I planned for our first dance. Three of our closest friends arranged a Beatles medley and started playing live as we walked in the room for our first dance. Bobby was so surprised.
Was there anything you were sure was going to be a total disaster that unexpectedly turned out great? The flower children! Our respective niece and nephews had never met, and I was convinced the three-year-olds and the four-year-old might have a huge meltdown right before the ceremony. One of the three-year-olds fell asleep 15 minutes before go time and wouldn't wake up for anything. The other two did walk together, but walked all the way around the wrong way to their mom. Everyone giggled at the cuteness and we moved on.
My advice for Offbeat Brides: The internet and all the available wedding resources are super-duper helpful but holy cow, can you get overwhelmed quickly. Pinterest was my best friend and my worst enemy! My advice is to gather everything you have ever wanted to do at your wedding (and everything your partner has ever wanted to do), and create a day that can realistically be done… in a day. We didn't want any of our friends to "work" our wedding, so we had to have everything prepared ahead of time, but some people love that community involvement. Know what you want, what you can do, and what you can accomplish!
Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?
- Dress: David's Bridal
- Jewelry: My grandmothers hand-me-down sapphires!
- Shoes: TOMS
- Photogs: Iris and Light
- Tastiest cake ever: Portos Bakery
- Favors: Truffles from Dr. Conkey's Candy And Coffee with stickers from myownlabels.com
Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!