This is the most awesome satire of offbeat wedding trends since Portlandia's "Cool Wedding":
Horrible Couple Really Wants Wedding To Reflect Their Personalities
"We want it to be a celebration of our love," the unbearable woman continued. "But we also want it to be fun and quirky, just like us!"
The couple told reporters the insufferably precious ceremony will include readings from Walt Whitman's Leaves Of Grass, a 10-minute silent meditation on each wedding guest's own conception of love, and a forcibly lighthearted accordion wedding march expected to last for nearly 20 minutes.
And the video — HA!
Yes, it's mean-spirited as hell, but I think we can all recognize ourselves in there and laugh at our own ridiculousness. I mean, the part about how they want to "initiate the proceedings with an a cappella rendition of the Etta James song At Last"? Ok, that was exactly what we did at my wedding. Did someone at The Onion read my book?!
If you resemble that comment, as it were, you must see just how many other Offbeat Bride-inspired wedding trends are skewered in the whole hilarious article.
Oh and PS: If you haven't already seen Portlandia's "Cool Wedding", we're linking it again because it's SO SPOT ON. You must watch.