Why we chose to have an "adventuring party" instead of bridesmaids and groomsmen

Guestpost by Geoff on Jun. 25th

It's about time we heard from another offbeat groom! Here's Tribesmaid Fiddledragon's future husband with his insights into why they're having an "adventuring party" instead of a "wedding party."


These dudes DEFINITELY look ready for adventuring together. Thanks to MrsSteel for uploading this to our Flickr pool.

There were a wide variety of thoughts that played into our decision to have an "adventuring party" rather than the traditional set of bridesmaids and groomsmen. First, that particular paradigm didn't shout FUN in the way that an Adventuring Party did. We certainly didn't want to have to pair people off and balance gender count or sides anyway. That could easily become boring, or even *shudder* routine.

In addition, one of the themes of Steampunk is "life as adventure." This is one sentiment we have a great deal of enthusiasm for and it informed our choice. We want to enjoy and risk and push ourselves in as many directions towards fun as possible and there is no better way to do it than in the company of those we love and care about. As such, the adventuring party is particularly symbolic of everyone we share our lives with — both family and friends.

Once we made the decision to name it that, we suddenly began finding other ways that the choice was appropriate…

Both of us played Roleplaying Games, from Live Action to Tabletop to Online, where grouping for better enjoyment and mutual support was a given. Groups of "heroes" abound in literature: from the Knights of the Round Table to the Avengers to Doc Savage's group of assistants. It also sparked the idea that led to the rather unique narrative style of our wedding ceremony.

One of the dictionary definitions of adventure is "to participate in exciting undertakings or enterprises."

Choosing to eschew the conventional was a debated and measured choice on our part. We do feel strongly about some traditions and wanted to make sure that we changed things around intelligently, being very picky about the way and manner in which we adjusted the traditional format of a wedding. Changing to an adventuring party was one we felt strongly about. Social connections are crucially important to both of us, with our extended web of family and friends forming a bulwark against the vicissitudes of fortune.

All of the members of our adventuring party have helped us prepare for and/or are participating in the ceremony in different ways, as they (and all of our friends) do from day to day in life. From planning to coordinating; from errands to creative projects; from escorts to speakers to ringbearers. As in the rest of our lives, no contribution is unimportant; no moment of love or concern or company unnecessary.

The members of our adventuring party have, in many cases, known one or both of us for years (in the case of our children, their entire lives). Even those younger friendships involved are strong ones and will certainly stand well to the test of time. They are all very emblematic of the type of person we enjoy spending time with, representative of different stages and moods in our lives and having shared with us many exciting times over these years.

One of the dictionary definitions of adventure is "to participate in exciting undertakings or enterprises." Sounds like living to you, doesn't it? It most certainly does to the two of us. We invite all of you, as a larger adventuring party, to join us in the great adventure of life.

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About Geoff

Geoff is the groom and is still more than a little astonished that this wonderful woman is willing to cope with him. He is a gamer, woodworker, computer geek and reads incessantly. He is the dad of one uber teenage boy.