This is your last chance to run: why commitment comedy falls flat for me #WTF!?#humor May 14 | Ariel Meadow Stallings offbeatariel *Insert sound of my soul being crushed* Product image courtesy of Bellestyles.com Every once in a while, I peek my head out of the safe, offbeat cave I've carved for myself here in this corner of the wedding industry and I get a terrible shock. See, I spend so much time over in my little niche that I forget about the rest of the wedding world and how icky it often is. Case in point: this HARDY HAR HAR hilarious sign that you can buy for your ring bearer and flower girl to carry down the aisle, announcing that HO HO HO, this is your last chance to run! Now, I get it: this is comedy. It's meant to provide a little moment of levity in a serious ceremony. But it hurts my head, and it hurts my heart, and here's why… This sign says to me, "Any commitment before marriage doesn't really count." This sign says to me, "Commitment is terrifying and awful." This sign says to me, "Marriage sucks." Also, while there's nothing explicit about gender in this particular sign, in a traditional western wedding, the groom is the one who sees this coming down the aisle as he waits for the bride to make her entrance — so, you can extrapolate that this is extra HARDY HAR HAR because OH THOSE MENFOLK: THEY JUST HATE TO COMMIT. (Other versions of this "Last chance" sign concept are much more explicit in their gender-grossness.) Ok, ok. I know I'm being a grump here, and taking this silly shit way too seriously. I'm completely confident that some of you find this sign hilarious, and that's cool: if cracking jokes about commitment tickles your funny bone, by all means keep giggling. Related Post Give the kids in your wedding truthful signs Y'all know how we feel about generic "funny" wedding signs for kids to carry. That's why I'm loving Offbeat Bride reader Kathleen's actually funny and... Read more Far be it for me to say that weddings shouldn't be hilarious, or that we all have to put on our Somber Hats (somber-eros?) and our Very Uncomfortable Humorless Panties to talk about the sanctity of marriage. I just find comedy like this problematic because it plays into and enforces so many stereotypes and generalizations about couples and commitment and marriage. That marriage is awful. That you should run. That you've got up until the moment you say "I Do" to just be joking around, and that everything changes after you get married. It all just reminds me of the Game Over tshirts, where it's hardy-har-larious that the groom "lost" the game by having to get married. Again, I get it: it's comedy. We all have different tastes in HA HAs, and that's cool: there's no need to defend yourself if you think this sign is awesome. But I think I'll just stay hiding over here in my corner of the wedding world, where our comedy is stuff like this or this. Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Ariel Meadow Stallings Author of Offbeat Bride: Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides, Ariel acts as the publisher of all the Offbeat Empire websites. She lives, loves, and dorks out hard in Seattle, WA. @offbeatariel @offbeatbride PREVIOUS Derpin', dancin', and superhero-ing: readers know how to do it NEXT Gillian & Mark's offbeat lite transatlantic wedding Show/Hide comments [ 237 ] I just have to say DITTO all the way!! Reply if someone i was dating thought this was even mildly funny, i'd drop him so stinking fast. you like it so much out there? go ahead. 2 agree Reply on a related note … you know those couples (not the ones in open situations) who have those celeb crush freebies? kinda in the same idea. like somehow marrying the person you're marrying is settling. maybe it's a self esteem issue … like meh this is probably the best i'll get, guess i'll get married. the way my husband sees it, if i preferred so n so celeb, i would have just gone after her. same goes for me. i saw what i wanted, & i went for it, not 2nd best. why would you want to run if it's what you want. & if you do want to get outta there, why are you selling yourself short? go get the best you can! 3 agree Reply The celebrity freebie thing has always seemed pretty harmless to me, but that might be because my future wife and I have similar taste in (fantasy) women. I didn't realize until I read your comment that the freebie list concept likely works much differently for most straight couples! Reply oh i have no idea if it's any diff. probably not. my feeling is, if you'd ideally, perfect world want anyone but me, go get her & leave me out of it. lol Reply side note @beth you look almost EXACTLY like my jr-hs best friend with the same name (though she went by liz), orientation, & hair. i had to open your profile to realize you weren't her. freaked me out. lol Reply Early-ish when my fiance and I were dating we told eachother who our celebrity crushes were. It was kind of a "he's the one" moment for me when I realized I'd rather do him than Hugh Jackman 😛 1 agrees Reply ok this might seem messed up & sorry if it offends, but i kinda think this would be similar to having a coathanger theme at a baby shower. it's seriously just … awful. 3 agree Reply I guess my main concern is who chooses the signs? If one appeared at my wedding I would be devastated if my groom had known about it. I have no problem with a Stag Night / Bachelor Party but I just don't find this image funny at all. To me it is out of keeping with the sacred vows about to be exchanged. So if my groom thought this was funny, he'd be the wrong guy for me. If we both thought it funny then guess that's OK … cringeworthy for many guests but OK for the couple! 2 agree Reply The majority of wedding products (especially in more traditional wedding purchases) are marketed to brides, and I'm betting this one is no exception. All the times I've seen it on Pinterest, it's been pinned by women. 1 agrees Reply Part of that could be that the Pinterest demographic is somewhere around 70% female. That being said, I don't see this being marketed to men (because it's a wedding thing and why would you ever market those to MEN? it's not like it's THEIR BIG DAY too ::eyeroll::. It looks like the sort of thing they expect a bride to think will be a funny surprise for her partner or something. Frankly I think my husband would have hated it. or run away. you give him an opportunity for a joke… Reply Thank you for posting this and to the other comments. I knew I wasn't alone in finding this sort of humour not funny. I hate those cake toppers where it shows the bride dragging the groom away from something, or the ball 'n chain shit. I find that the people who make the jokes at us, or think this stuff is funny come from horrible relationships. Where the female is trying to change him, doesn't like him playing games, drinking beer etc. My fella had a guy at work basically tell him to run, took him to another guy at work who is currently going through a divorce and tried to jokingly show him what will happen. My guy and the bloke going through the divorce quite quickly told him to fuck off. Where do people get off? Anybody that knows us as a couple haven't made one single trying to be funny joke at us. It's everyone who doesn't know us very well and is in a miserable relationship. Go away! Reply I hate those cake toppers! How is that funny? Reply Perhaps they are serious. The woman really wants to chain her man up? Reply BAHAHA that just put a WHOLE NEW spin on those figurines for me. No longer commitment jokes, they're bdsm-themed! 6 agree Reply I've just been googling these signs and seen that you can buy one that says 'Last chance to run DADDY'. WTF?! If the parents are getting married, having the kids holding a sign encouraging the father to dump not just his WTB but his entire family is messed up! Or if the bride is the kids' step mother-to-be, that's just nasty! These signs are so depressing and insulting. Of course there should be fun and laughter at a wedding (and this site has loads of examples of that) but why not think of humor that's unique to the couple and doesn't make anyone feel like crap? 8 agree Reply Not even close to funny, and such outdated phyllis dinner/rodney dangerfield type humor – and I'm OLD! My daughter's Big Event was last week and they had lots of laughter and surprises, but what pleased me so much were all the comments about how amazed people were that they looked like they were still on their honeymoon and having a ball, even though they've been married a year before their big shindig. Now that's a message sent. 5 agree Reply god, i cant agree with you more. i hate all that stuff as well!! thats why i love this website, even though im really nowhere near my own wedding. here there is love that is just that- love. there is no tricking into love, there are no men trying to run (omg, can we talk about those TERRIBLE CAKE TOPPERS!!!!) and there are no phycho women who are the ones who are doing the holding-onto-the-neck of the men in the cake topper. this is why i love this website. thank you. Reply Boy do I agree! I have a good sense of humor and am planning a lot of little humorous things for my wedding, but these kind of jokes that insinuate lack of previous commitment or that a man's life ends at marriage really gets my blood going. Reply It is a serious ceremony and a little bit of off beat humor is great, but to me these signs are in poor taste. Reply I must be the only one who finds this concept funny. But that said, he's the one more into the whole wedding thing than myself. Maybe its the irony I like 2 agree Reply You're not. Reply AMEN! I'm so excited to get married and so is my hubs to be. I don't get things like this. I get some people find it funny, but really? I love and respect all the comments here too. Reply I agree with everything said here with the exception of the message it supposedly sends to the kids carrying the sign. The flower girl looks too young to read, and even if the ring bearer can read he's probably too young to get the "joke." Reply You think the kids aren't going to ask what the sign they are carrying says? And even if they don't get the joke now, it might well stick with them. Or they might just ask what it means. As a grade 1 teacher I gotta say, things don't go over kids heads nearly as much as people think. 6 agree Reply My Nan is quite the funny/grouchy lady, and we are very close. I found out days after the wedding that in the moments before the ceremony she took my soon-to-be husband aside and told him that this was his 'last chance'… as in, last chance to bail. He laughed it off (she is kind of an odd duck) but WTF!? My poor guy was nervous enough, he had just met my family and was about to get married! (we both are a little nervous around lots of people… even at such a happy occasion!)I'm so glad I didn't know it happened until days later and i was even able to chuckle… but omg…out of place and a yucky thing to say! Sigh… crazy old Nan. 1 agrees Reply Before I even finished the article I was like, now if they were kids dressed as the mario bros "GAME OVER" written in a pixel font it'd still be awful like those shirts but awful with thought put into it… When I told my friend I was going to ask my girlfriend to marry me, my friend said he wanted to buy me the bride & groom game over tshirt but then he said 'but you're both women, do they make them for bride & bride?' he still doesn't get the whole trans thing but he's a nice boy, he just doesn't think… If someone had to be all 'har har weddings suck' they should do it at the bachelor party or stag & hen or whatever parties are had for 'light fun' still potentially offensive but if you're putting up a front for your dude friends that's one thing, I understand how sometimes you need to be macho to fit in, but if you continue to put on the same show in front of the brides parents and your collective families, then that's going too far and should maybe make you question your maturity? If you don't want to get married why are you? I wouldn't want to marry someone who didn't want to marry me, and vice versa. It's sad though that guys can't just be like, 'ball and chain? no she's great I like being in love and not having to wonder about awkward tension like a ticking time bomb until she passive aggressively dumps all my clothes on the lawn or if I'll die alone… I'm okay if she's the last girl I sleep with' but they have to be like 'oh I know, I hate this, I feel smothered, she likes me to text her back, what's this about?' I don't get it. Reply Yuck, what an awful sign. Then there's those awful cake toppers where the bride is dragging the groom behind her. I just don't get why anyone would want to use these. Reply actually, I love the sign! Not for humor but because of all of the reasons you mentioned (just that you got to the exact opposite conclusion than I did!). You may or may not over think this a little too much? Reply Didn't really over-think … just instinctively cringed personally! BUT each to their own and if the bride was happy with the sign then that's fine for her. Reply To me, this just reinforces the stereotype that weddings are non inclusive of men. Although women 'have' to wait for his proposal, once that is done, he is no longer part of the planning and just has to show up on the day. Even then it appears he doesn't even have to do that. 3 agree Reply Agreed. I didn't actually realize how much stuff like this bothered me until those last few weeks before getting married! People kept asking if I was nervous about being tied down ALL the time and saying it was my last weeks of freedom. Weird, since we have been together and committed for like 6 years now and I never felt like my "freedom" was being inhibited then. Luckily my Maids of Honor (yes I had two) were awesome and my bachelorette party was a girls night in chicago just hanging out, going to a musical and eating yummy food not shaped liked penises. My husband's bachelor party was a metal concert with his friends (male and female) and then bar hopping. At the rehearsal dinner though, people kept wanting to get pictures of us on our last night as single people, to which we just replied that we hadn't been single for quite some time…. 3 agree Reply I agree, I agree with this profusly. My husband agrees, we both didn't find that game over t-shirt amusing. I've given mine away. I don't think a game is over. Uck! I hate these jokes. So I agree. Now other people found that funny, I find it simply stupid. And I don't really go along either. I just simply stare and say "Not funny" and walk off on a good day. On a really bad day (such as the one I had when i got that shirt, planning a wedding is so stressful) I can rant for hours, and get really pathetically mad. Oh well. Its good to know, I'm not alone on this. Reply There's another thing this sign says to me that bothers me: "If the marriage gets bad, you can't run." The reason this underlying assumption disturbs me so much: U.S. society is deeply contradictory: even though such a high percentage of marriages end in divorce, talking about the possibility of divorce if you are engaged feels oddly taboo. I enter into this marriage committed to continuing a healthy, functional, happy, joyous relationship. But I make the promise to myself that if our relationship is no longer healthy, and if we cannot find a healthy path back to a strong relationship, I can and will leave it. Just as marriage is not necessary for a healthy long-term commitment, marriage does not guarantee a healthy relationship, and for me a commitment to any future has to also be a commitment to take care of myself. 4 agree Reply I agree. I'm planning my second marriage, and I learned a lot from my first, which was emotionally, mentally, and borderline physically abusive. I can not honestly promise my fiance that I will stay with him forever no matter what, because I don't believe in no matter what any more. There has to be a line. It isn't healthy not to have limits. Marriage is not awful, and if it is, fix it or get out! I am so glad you touched on this! Reply My husband got one of those stupid 'game over' t-shirts from a friend when we were first going out. He has never worn it. We tend to find a lot of the same things hilarious (he wears the 'firefly' inevitable betrayal t-shirt I got him all the time). When he got the game over t-shirt (in front of me) we just smiled politely. There was an embarrassed silence which continued in spite of the 'no offence, Nadia' joke that went with it. I'm usually a bit of a laugh-slut so whoever came up with it must have failed pretty badly. 1 agrees Reply Admittedly, We will probably say something 'aloof' at the wedding like 'oh gee, I guess I'm stuck with her now' or 'oh we just stay together for the pets' but really, we've been living together for 7 or 8 months and I wouldn't have it any other way. I think society almost pressures you to act reluctant like if you're truly happy it scares people so they want to scare you out of it. We're just both deeply sarcastic and kind of bitter about everything other than our relationship, but our freedom isn't over, in fact I feel like I have more freedom now. Plus she ran off with her best friend to go camping labour day weekend and I wasn't officially living here yet and I house sit, I watered plants and fed the rabbit because I wanted to stay here and experiment with if I could ever live here. I mean I'd like to take trips with her, but sometimes I think it's good to have someone here while the other runs an errand or goes on a trip too. I dunno. Reply Marriage is so sacred to me, I hardly find this funny. And I really hate seeing the kids carry this! It kind of goes along with those cake-toppers where the bride is dragging the groom away. I've always failed at finding those funny. Marriage is so beautiful, why even do it if you're going to feel like it's "game over", or as if there's something horrible to run from? 2 agree Reply I'd never really noticed any of this stuff until 5 years ago when I went to buy a card to go with a wedding gift. The only options were along the lines of ball-and-chain jokes or featuring a white dress (the couple is Jain and had a Jain ceremony). I ended up getting a pretty blank card. Seriously, who thinks it's a great idea to "celebrate" someone's wedding by saying that marriage is this awful thing? 1 agrees Reply My EX husband wore a game over t-shirt at our wedding after-party and I hated it. I also hate those cake toppers of brides dragging grooms by the collar. Who the hell thinks these things are funny? 1 agrees Reply Thank you SO much for this. I truly thought I was the only one who thought this was unfunny(and borderline tasteless, IMO). And the fact that one of these had something like 105 repins is disconcerting to me. I just do not understand the humor behind it. I find it incredibly disrespectful to your future spouse. Reminds me as others have said, the cake toppers with the man being dragged or when the groomsmen write "funny" things on the soles of the groom's shoes like "Help Me". Heaven forbid a man want to marry the woman he loves. Reply I am SO glad that there are other people who aren't enchanted with the whole "haha commitment sucks haha" social dialogue. If my fiance and I felt this way, we probably wouldn't be getting married… And it is completely upsetting that men are stereotypically seen as phobic of commitment. I'm not sure who it's more offensive for— the men who are held to such a low standard, or the women who are essentially being told that they are not worthy of a committed partner (because everyone knows that women are just trying to woo you into marriage so that they can become nags.) 4 agree Reply I'm a bit late to the party, but I showed this post to my Mister just now. He said he's gotten a few comments along the lines of, "I didn't know you were engaged, why would you do that?" He looked at them with the face you make to someone who asks an extremely stupid question and said, "Because I want to." I think I picked the right partner. 3 agree Reply I'm actually surprised, with a site name of OFFBEAT Bride, that more people can't find the humor in this. When I saw this, I thought about how my family would have cracked up if this came down the isle before me. I was actually ready to send it to my sister as she is considering marriage…until I actually read the post. Weddings don't have to be proper. I was actually the one who bought my husband the "Game Over" shirt that everyone seems to hate. He tells me that I can be replaced with a newer model. Does that make us less committed? Nope. Then again, I grew up in a family where the ability to laugh at things, yourself included,is valued. Weddings are supposed to be fun. If this sign isn't your style that's great, but don't hate on those of us who like humor like this. Someone said they fly into a rage when they see stuff like this. Really? It's not worth getting upset over, especially since if it's not your wedding. I found you through Pinterest and loved the name of the blog but, well, with this post being only the 2nd one I have read I'm not sure I want to read the rest. 5 agree Reply I completely understand. I saw that my online wedding shop was getting a great deal of traffic from Offbeat Bride. I thought how cool, maybe they've included a link to my store or wrote a blog about my custom monogrammed aisle runners, rustic burlap runners, unique parasols, or other custom wedding items. I was further encouraged when I saw the title of the Offbeat Bride website says "Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides." I love it, that's my target market! I clicked the link and whoops, my item was posted in the WTF!? section of the website, excoriated for being explicit in its gender-grossness. There is a black-eye I certainly did not see coming! Lesson learned. I understand not everyone would appreciate the humor of the banner. As a bride-to-be, I never would have chosen this banner for my wedding. After years of marriage, I think its hysterical, especially because the day after our wedding, my husband leaned over to me, held his left hand up, pointed to his ring and said "Its too late now, you can NEVER get rid of me." Everytime I put my hands on my hips out of frustration, he points to his ring and shrugs. We both break out in laughter. I guess we're just the type of people that find a bit of light-hearted humor in these things. A few hours of searching the Offbeat Bride website, and I'm beyond confused. A wedding banner teasing about "running" before the wedding is considered icky, enraging and disgusting, but a giant unicorn that pees lemonade and should menstruate soft-serve ice cream is hysterical? I shrug my shoulders and say to each his own. A friend in the wedding industry said it best, "What's beautiful about each wedding is that it is about two people who love each other. It is about celebrating their personalities, sense of humor, style, religion, and choices. Everything that they chose, from the colors to the venue, from the guest list to those who represent the bridal party, it is solely about reflecting the couple. Before you judge any wedding for not meeting your expectations, remember that it isn't about you, its about them." That's an attitude I expected to see more of at Offbeat Bride, again, lesson learned. Side note- I do love the "no drama" comment policy. It was nice to see opinions expressed that did not degenerate into name calling. More websites should adopt a similar policy. 8 agree Reply YES to business owners who are articulate, lovely human beings expressing opinions! There are all kinds of things on this site some like and some dislike… but just remember that "any publicity is good publicity". Being in the WTF section of a site this big is better than being not on it- and I hope many of those clicks have turned into sales for you (if not of this item, of others). Well said, my dear. 3 agree Reply We were thinking of having one of these sign, until I read this, but mainly because everyone who knows us knows that it's me who was dragging her feet to get married NOT him! may have to get one saying "Here's Mummy" Jack Nicholson style 😉 3 agree Reply Thank you for writing this! As a wedding photographer, it breaks my heart when I see this sort of thing. It's so disrespectful to the groom, especially, turning a sacred moment into a joke about whether or not he really loves his bride. And it's disrespectful to her, too, suggesting that she is so unlovable that her groom might want to run away from her. I never include these sorts of things in highlight albums. I'll photograph them for the couple's full gallery, but I don't want to encourage or spread this type of unloving tradition! 3 agree Reply Thank you, beautifully put, as always. I think what is offputting about this kind of humor to many is that it kind of surrounds us. It's ubiquitous. Sitcoms, advertisements, comedians etc. make these jokes about how the grooms 'life is over,' and now 'the wife' is a nag who keeps her husband on a short leash and so on. But to me personally, what I find most distasteful is having survived and left an abusive situation, I remember at the time guys making these HAR HAR jokes about how I must call all the shots behind closed doors and give him 'honey-do lists' of chores when truly the opposite was my reality. Now I'm sure that this was the furthest thing from the minds of whoever made this sign, which is just a very old joke people tell over and over, and in all honestly can have more than one meaning. Just saying this is what bugs me about it. I can't shake that it really comes down to a pretty negative view of women, and also perpetuates what can be a harmful myth that it's normal for marriage to be some kind of power struggle. 7 agree Reply "But to me personally, what I find most distasteful is having survived and left an abusive situation, I remember at the time guys making these HAR HAR jokes about how I must call all the shots behind closed doors and give him 'honey-do lists' of chores when truly the opposite was my reality. " Totally with you. I've lived with an abusive male partner, and grew up in a situation where my mother abused my Dad as well as me, so in addition to trying to help friends out of abusive relationships I feel I've seen abuse, coercion, lack of respect and lack of regard for consent from most angles by now. This stuff just freaks me right out. Re. your specific example: the idea that the woman coerces the man into marriage/monogamy so it's ok for him to coerce her into other things to balance it out is alive and well, and until no-one is getting it flung in their face any more it just isn't funny to me. 5 agree Reply Well said. I have always been burned by the whole celebrating the last night of freedom vibe people have too….really, aren't we suppose to be celebrating marriage?? 2 agree Reply Maybe I'm over thinking it (I over think everything), but this article made me consider how society really views the marriage relationship. With wedding jokes like this, and stupid cake toppers featuring bitch brides and unhappy grooms, and how so many people divorce willy nilly after a few years, it's apparent that most folks don't seem to believe in honest love. Why do people who joke this way even get married? A commitment should be a happy, honest, beautiful thing. I love reading all of these comments because it shows that I'm not the only one who feels like love should be an eternal, evolving, and glorious part of life. My own fiance feels the same way. Sorry for getting ranty, I guess seeing something like this sign kinda punctured my soul and brain. 4 agree Reply YES! A thousand times, yes. I am getting married in 6 months so I've done a lot of searching around for wedding stuff and I absolutely cringe every time I see one of these signs. Just like the cake toppers where the bride is dragging the groom, UGH. 1 agrees Reply Amen thrice over. As a wedding photographer, I always take a deep breath and bite my tongue when I see this, knowing I have to photograph this "hilarious" and "adorable" moment, but cringing inside — and I never put these images on my blog or website, because I agree they're tremendously disrespectful to men and to the sacredness of the day. 3 agree Reply Why do you think they are disrespectful to just men? The sign is actually suggesting that the man has a reason to run away from his bride, suggesting that there is something about her that he should be running from, therefore insulting to her, no? But that's if you take it all so seriously in the first place. Honestly for two people to commit to each other on such a large scale and then have something like this as a little bit of light heartedness at the start of their wedding ceremony…and then move onto the serious business of getting married, it really does seem to upset a lot of people. I don't understand the offence at it. I am getting one for my husband to be, I know he will find it funny and I don't think any of the children in the room will suddenly turn into mysoginistic A-holes (unless they're already being sent that way by an already unhealthy parent or guardian) It certainly won't be a cheesy sign at a wedding that sends them off that way!!! 4 agree Reply I couldn't agree more. Too bad my inlaws find this stuff to be hilarious and are constantly buying it for my partner. But considering the number of times her family members have divorced and remarried it shouldn't surprise me that they don't take it seriously. Makes me sick to be honest. Love my fiance, just wish she came from a different background. 1 agrees Reply Seriously I think you all need to relax a bit, and give children the credit for having a sense of humour and irony as well as we do. If they have us, after all, to guide them in these things, then perhaps, just perhaps they will see it for the little bit of good humoured frivolous banter that it's intended as, and not a sign of disrespect to the groom, the bride, the relationship, "relationships"… or anyone else for that matter. Nerves are frayed at weddings, a little bit of levity about the groom doing a runner is not going to teach a child that marriage and relationships "suck". I really think it is the overall feeling of any event is what counts, so if the adults are arguing and insulting each other the entire day of the wedding, maybe then the children will come away with the message that marriage and relationships are bad. But if there is love in the room and people respect each other, a little card sign intended to relax everyone is not going to scar your children for life into believing that all long term romantic relationships are to be avoided…. complete over reaction to it, in my own opinion. 3 agree Reply Oh, I just see your comment at the end of your piece now…."there's no need to defend yourself if you think this sign is awesome" Sorry but I'd responded with my opinion before I saw that one! That sort of sounds like "Only post an opinion if it's the same as mine"….no? Happy life people, I know where the door is! 4 agree Reply Buh bye! Reply Somethings in life are so serious you have to laugh about them. I think as the person in the relationship with commitment-phobia these things make me laugh and calm me down. I'm the one wearing the game over shirt. I'm the one being dragged to the marriage. I'm the one who needs one more chance to run. I think we also bring a lot of our own gender stereotypes to the table when we look at these things. Women get cold feet too and humor may be the door to talking about real thoughts and feelings. 1 agrees Reply Thank you for writing about this! What's really disgusting is that we are taught that as brides our wedding day is the biggest day of our lives and for many it is the one day that's about us. To then make a joke of the bride (and all women, as men are clearly more valuable than us since we have to chain or trick them) is needlessly cruel. Reminds me of that meme going round with the couple kneeling at the altar and the groom's shoes have "Help Me!" on the soles. I do believe that would be cause for me to stand up and leave. But then my guy knows that so that wouldn't happen. I really think that women set their standards far too low. Better a bitch than a doormat. 3 agree Reply I think whether someone finds this funny or not, we can all likely agree that this kind of humor is just plain LAZY. I don't have enough fingers or toes to count how many times I've heard a toast OR A CEREMONY HOMILY with some word-for-word wisecrack about how the bride is controlling the groom. When you Google your toast jokes, you end up with the same dregs as everyone else (and YET! they still go over well so often because most wedding guests don't attend so many to hear them repeated.) Example A: "The 3 Rings of Marriage: the Engagement Ring, the Wedding Ring, and the SUFFER-Ring!" (yes, really, a priest said this in the middle of the ceremony) Example B: (starts sweetly) "Bride, if I can ask you to place your hand on the table. And now, Groom, will you please place your hand on hers? * (Optional insert about how well she has him trained to follow directions!) Now, I want you two to look deeply into each others eyes and enjoy this moment, because Groom, this is the LAST TIME you'll ever have the upper hand!" har har har. *Bonus points to the groomsman who awkwardly continued the script even after the cute and unwitting couple responded with a giggle, "we're already holding hands!" 2 agree Reply a family friend who was entering his third marriage had the number 3 on the bottom of his shoes so everyone would see when he kneeled – ick! I am all for other people having silly fun poking at each other, but I would be hurt if people came at my marriage with doom and gloom, even jokingly. ESPECIALLY if it were my FI! Reply somber-eros YES ugh, and i hate hearing that stuff…no one EVER made jokes in front of me to my partner about our relationship before wedding-talk started, but now its open season. After a few months of pretending to laugh along or ignoring, my honey came up with a classic comeback…he asked about their marriages. The ones who kept making jokes about their marriages sucking, he took seriously and said he was sorry to hear it, had they tried counseling? The 30-day sex challenge? etc. But most of these folks did a 180 and started telling them why they LOVED being married, and even gave some good advice. My honey rocks. 3 agree Reply Love this, totally well said! I've always found those kind of jokes insulting to all involved. It's weirdly self-derogatory and is almost like the ultimate compliment fish- "Are you sureee you want to marry me, you don't have to if you don't want to". Reply I'm so glad you wrote about this. I've always hated these signs but haven't been able to say exactly why. Reply I had to read through pages and pages of comments, and to be honest, most are exactly what I am thinking. Some people commented that those stupid jokes (last chance to run, ready to be tied down, etc…) are giving them a soft case of cold feet (am I making the right decision, do I really want to be tied down) and others said it was just a very negative way of people trying to get you down. I am a mix between both. I hate it that if you announce your engagement, people either say the usual "you do know over 50% of the marriages end in divorce?" – "Yes, I do know that and I am willing to take the risk as I believe we might be the couple that makes it!" or another good one "Wow, that will cost a lot of money. Are you ready planning yet or are you freaking out?" – "What, just because I am planning a wedding means I have to eliminate all our money to that one day and it should make me freakout, clearly you do not know me as well as you thought you did" and finally; "Come one, we'll plan your bachelorette and let's go to a strip club cause you are now still allowed!" – Well, I doubt my husband-to-be would be appaled by the idea of me going to a stripclub, whether we are married or not. We are both free in our relationship, but committed to making eachother happy. Are we going to let things happen without us, if it doesn't make the other happy? No. We will however talk about it, just as we have done the last 3-4 years before our engagement and we will find a way. I do understand the humour behind it and I can get why some people might find these things amusing, but personally, for our upcoming wedding: a big NO! (Unless it's in the positive way; e.g. a T-shirt where player 1 gains power via player 2) 1 agrees Reply Arial, THANK YOU for this post. I wholeheartedly agree! I feel the same way about stag and stagette culture. I KNOW that it's a great way for the soon-to-be bride and groom to have a night on the town with their friends, and I'm all about that. But the idea that it's the "last night of being single" makes me want to wretch. I mean, what were the years that we spent together leading UP TO the wedding? Meaningless? I agree with you it makes my heart sad when I see things like this. Great post. Reply I whole heartedly agree with the posts about how humor like this enforces stereotypes that marriage is an entirely unpleasant experience and that the woman has forced the man into this position. I personally will likely go to strip clubs for my bachelorette party, first a male strip club and then a female one as I am a bisexual and I have a mixed gender and sexually diverse wedding party. But I am going because I like strip clubs and I like having time out with my friends, not because these will be the "last chance" I have to view anyone else's genitalia other than my husband's (we are big fans of threesomes, so it most certainly won't be.) And I don't think that night makes me any less of a feminist. Feminism is about choice, so going out and seeing naked people for no other reason other than I want to and it sounds like fun, but not because that is what I am "supposed to do" is exactly what feminism is all about. Reply Ive seen this weekend after weekend . All I can say is both bride and groom are nervous and the signs with the little kids are cute way to I guess ease and relax a bride and groom. Your suppose to be nervous because it is the most important and most crucial day of your life and you give yourself to each other. Great photo by the way Reply Read more comments ‹ 1 2 3 › Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. 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