All weddings are awesome — not just mine #Philosophizing#feeling competitive#special snowflake May 16 | Guest post by Sabrina Thanks to Tom Couture for submitting this photo. I am confused. I am confused by the attitude that surrounds weddings and costs and ideas and things. Maybe that's what makes me offbeat — I have this habit of loving everyone and being insanely optimisic even when it's probably not warranted. I give second chances. I love and trust until given reason not to. Every new person I meet, and can carry at least a five minute conversation, I say is my new best friend. I write a daily blog about something happy that happened to me that day. My problem lies in all the intense bitchiness that lives in the wedding world. "My wedding is better than yours because of such-and-such" and all of the things that go into such a feeling. I was reading a blog where a woman commented that she had a courtroom wedding and blames opulent weddings for the high divorce rate. Then there are the haters on both sides of the world. My wedding (and marriage) are better than yours because I chose to have a BBQ instead of a five course sit down meal. [At Offbeat Bride, we call this "one-lowsmanship" -Eds] My wedding (and marriage) are better than yours because I paid for three party rooms and the ghost of Louis Armstrong to sing our first song. Can we all just chill the fuck out and be nice to each other for like… five and a half seconds? Othering: the ways Offbeat Brides push themselves away Over the years, I've seen something come up time and time again from Offbeat Bride readers: people will send an email, post on the Tribe,... [more] If I was rich, I can't say that I wouldn't spend $50,000 on a wedding. I'd like to say I wouldn't, but ideas change when disposable income does. My beautiful made of honor will be in our less-than-$10,000 celebration and was recently the maid of honor at a $50,000 celebration. They did the whole spiel: Catholic mass ceremony in a church with friends, family, family friends, parent's business friends, people they've never known, country club, five course sit-down meal, uplighting, etc., etc. And you know what? That wedding? … Absolutely beautiful. The couple has been together for nearly ten years, and they earned every second of that celebration. Just because they did things differently than me doesn't make them any better or worse. It's just different. We're all awesome, beautiful, wonderful brides planning celebrations. We're not all that different — we're just throwing different parties. The wedding industrial complex that tells us we need to lose weight, invite people we hate, and buybuybuybuybuy is slightly evil, yes. But it's not all evil, and the women who don't read Offbeat Bride are brides too. We all are. We're all awesome, beautiful, wonderful brides planning celebrations. There are bad apples in every bunch but mostly, we're not all that different — we're just throwing different parties. So I guess my issue is that everyone on every spectrum needs to realize that we can all get along. I promise. We really can. I love your wedding. Whoever you are. I love it. Whether it had all the bells and whistles or was private vows at the top of a mountain. Whether it had a DJ or an iPod. Whether it cost $200 or $200,000. It's one of most beautiful days in the history of ever. We don't need to be subtracting from other people's celebrations to help make ourselves feel better. We can appreciate everything even if it's nothing we would ever do in a million years. The girl with the big poofy dress, the fancy dinner, the expensive wine, the 14 bridesmaids? That's not me. But you know what? Her wedding is going to kick just as much ass as mine will because that's her celebration. If you can stand in that ceremony and say that the person across from you is the person that you're supposed to be across from on your wedding day — then nothing else matters. Related posts: Your wedding is not a contest Win the Judgey Olympics: transform your petty wedding snarks into personal growth What polyamorists can teach brides about getting over petty wedding jealousies Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Sabrina I'm an optimistic, chatty-Cathy who is always laughing (sometimes when I shouldn't be). I make really cheesy jokes on a fairly regular basis, and I always laugh at my own jokes. I love writing, designing, making crafty things, baking, and generally doing any project that will create a mess. I do not, however, like cleaning up those messes. I sleep with my fiance and a stuffed rabbit named Elvis. I'm almost always psyched to go for a run or do a bit of yoga. I am also equally as psyched to stuff my face with chicken wings and beer. http://fitlaughlove.com PREVIOUS Make festive ribbon wands instead of throwing confetti NEXT Teena & Eddie's colorful renaissance handfasting in the round Toggle comments [ 69 ] Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked * Comment Notify me of follow-up comments by email. No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy. Biz owners & wedding bloggers Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. If you want to promote your stuff on Offbeat Bride, join us as an advertiser instead.