My secular ceremony wording: lots of equality and silly puns #Ceremony Advice#ceremony#ceremony script#geeky#readings#star wars#tim burton#vow examples#wedding logo#zombies April 19 | Guest post by deyannalambert This is our wedding logo. My partner, Dustin, is a huge Star Wars geek and I am obsessed with The Nightmare Before Christmas and all other things Tim Burton. We came up with the concept together — Dustin sketched up the drawing, then I refined the outline and colored it in. Like our personalized wedding logo, our ceremony is something we came up with together and personalized as well. We wanted to keep it short, simple, and light-hearted but also emphasizing equality — you will not find the word "obey" in this ceremony… Officiant: Good evening friends, family, and you back there. Not sure who you are. We've got this little detail of a marriage to take care of before we can start the party. We have all been invited here today to share a very important moment in Dustin and Deyanna's lives. No, not the release of the Nightmare Before Christmas Two, the Clause Strikes Back, but that their love and understanding for each other has grown and matured, and they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife. Dustin and Deyanna thank you for your presence here today, and now ask for your encouragement and lifelong support in their decision to become a family. Marriage is perhaps the greatest and most challenging adventure of all human relationships. As good as I may be… and believe me, I am very good… No ceremony can create your marriage; only you can do that – through love and patience; through dedication and listening; through supporting and believing in each other. By fighting through the zombies and vampires; through the Sith and bounty hunters. By learning to make the important things matter, and letting go of the rest. What this ceremony can do is to witness and affirm the choice you make to stand together despite the occasional urge to run away. To make a marriage work, we learn to overlook and forgive the things that may frustrate us. Like Dustin being absent-minded and always leaving his stuff where it doesn't belong. Or Deyanna being stubborn and always stealing Dustin's comfy clothes. These two are promising to stick together through all the poopy diapers, unfolded laundry, and dirty dishes. To support one another through all the bad traffic, annoying co-workers, and airport security lines. Related Post Zombies + Wedding Ceremony = Genuinely touching?! Family members can get concerned when you say things like, "We're going to have zombies in our wedding vows!" But here's solid proof that your... Read more But marriage isn't all bad… it's also about having someone to laugh with, to hug, and, when needed, pull your finger. It's having someone who will get your dumb jokes and obscure movie references. Marriage is having a confidant, a partner in crime, and a best friend. Now we will have the best man and maid of honor tell you the meaning of love as defined by Calvin and Hobbes. Wedding reading: Calvin: Hobbes, What's it like to fall in love? Hobbes: Well… say the object of your affection walks by… Calvin: Yeah? Hobbes: First, your heart falls into your stomach and splashes your innards. All the moisture makes you sweat profusely. This condensation shorts the circuits to your brain and you get all woozy. When your brain burns out altogether, your mouth disengages and you babble like a cretin until she leaves. Calvin: THAT'S LOVE?!? Hobbes: Medically speaking. Calvin: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties! Officiant: Thank you, guys. The couple has prepared their vows. [We read our vows] Officiant: Their beautiful son will now present the rings which represent their bond. [Take rings] Officiant: Will you, Dustin, love Deyanna with all your heart and keep her as your wife for the rest of your life? Dustin: As you wish. Officiant: Will you, Deyanna, love Dustin with all you heart and keep him as your husband for the rest of your life? Deyanna: As you wish. Officiant: Usually couples choose to do a unity candle or other similar display of their coming together… but Dustin and Deyanna aren't your usual couple. So, as a sign of their united front, they will be slaying a symbolic zombie head together. [chop zombie head] Officiant: Then, as your friend and as your quizmaster, I now pronounce you more officially married! You may now gross everyone out. Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Guest post written by deyannalambert I live in Colorado with my hubby (Dustin), our wiener dog (Richard Peter Johnson), and our infant son, Zane. Currently, I am self-employed home business owner and homemaker. These businesses include Special F/X make-up for haunted houses, hand-crocheted wiener dogs, and Zombie Preparedness Kits and merchandise. I'm obsessed with all things Halloween, zombie, and wiener dog. http://tribe.offbeatbride.com/members/deyannalambert PREVIOUS Even the craft-impaired can make these adorable birdie cake toppers NEXT A modernized Mad Man-style wedding updo Show/Hide comments [ 22 ] Love it! Also love your pooch's apt name. 😉 5 agree Reply Love the personal touches – do I detect a 'Princess Bride' note also? Humour is great at a wedding, as it can be very super serious and full on, you have a good balance between serious and fun!!! 4 agree Reply I love the princess bride reference here! Steve and I joke about getting the priest at our wedding next spring to give us a mawwaige…. 4 agree Reply Check our princess bride tag: http://offbeatbride.com/tag/princess-bride Reply I would love to see this. Unfortunately when i clicked, it wasnt there. Can you direct me to where it is? 2 agree Reply I love that you used, "As you wish" instead of "I do." Awesome. 6 agree Reply You guys rock and so did your wedding!!! Thank you so much for letting me be a part of your special day! Love ya lots!! Reply Thanks a lot for writing this! It made me calm down a lot after fretting about my own wedding. 2 agree Reply I absolutely love this. How eloquent, witty, and oh-so-personal. 1 agrees Reply When I grow up and get married later this year, I wanna be you guys!!!!!! I even had to share the Fett brilliance with the Lover, who, btw says "I Love It!"… Thank you for the wonder and laughing until I cried, it was a brilliant way to start the morning! Reply I think I am inserting something like this during our vows " I promise to fight alongside you in any zombie apocalypses, reaper invasions (we are mass effect fans), and in team deathmatches!" So naturally I love this! 1 agrees Reply Mass Effect FTW!! woohoo!!! Reply Your reading made me laugh so hard! We're also building our ceremony from the bottom up and aren't big fans of traditional readings. I would like to add a personal touch, but the future Mr. D doesn't want to write vows. I suggested we pick out readings for each other…so we can express how we feel, but let professional writers do the writing. Calvin & Hobbs is just about what I had in mind! Reply ' you may now gross everyone out' Priceless 2 agree Reply Ohhhhh my GAWD, the reading made me melt!!! <3 That was a WONDERFUL idea! 😀 I love that the best man and the maid of honor get to do the reading together. 2 agree Reply This was amazing <3 I now want to build my own wedding like that! I never really liked what was said at weddings so this is perfect. I might even talk to my partner about using some of my fave quotes like "as you wish" <3 Reply Thank you so much for posting this, it has really helped my fiance and I write our ceremony script for our upcoming wedding. Reply LOVE LOVE LOVE this i may "borrow" some of this and tweak it to fit for mine…. its perfect. Reply We used an altered version of the script Matt Dillahunty from the Atheist Experience and his wife Beth used. We did add in a bible verse about love- it made mom happy since there was not one mention of god and no prayers. It worked out really well because we got married in a museum- of a church. ( with a huge scary cemetary ) It was LOVELY and very historical and secular with just enough religion in the cultural elements to please the family! Reply Wedding Transcript (Recessional: Lets Get it on/ Where is my mind.) Tammy: "Honored guests, we gather to participate in the formal declaration and celebration of marriage. Tisa and Matt thank you for your presence here today and now ask for your encouragement, and support, for their decision to be married. They are grateful that each of you could share this day with them, and they are especially honored that friends and family have travelled great distances to be here." (Charge to Bride and Groom) I charge the two of you, in these moments, to accept responsibility, each for the other. You are marrying not for parents, or because others tell you it is a good thing to do. You marry for yourself and the one you love. You are setting up a relationship, strong in some ways, fragile in others. And the joy of that relationship is that it comes as a gift – a gift given each to the other, a gift that is received back again. I charge you to hold that gift reverently and tenderly, and have gratitude each day that it is given to you. The Apostle Paul describes the nature of love when he writes to the Corinthians: "Love is patient and kind; Love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, Love endures all things." (Declaration of Intent) Tammy: Do you, Matthew Lawrence Mesic, take this woman to be your wedded wife, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, in conflict and in tranquility, in poverty and in prosperity, placing her above all others, from this day forward? Matt: I Do Tammy: Do you, Tisa Nicolette Loewen, take this man to be your wedded husband, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, in conflict and in tranquility, in poverty and in prosperity, placing him above all others, from this day forward? Tisa: I Do (Support of Community) Tammy: Two people in love do not live in isolation. Their love is a source of strength with which they may nourish not only each other but also the world around them. And in turn, we, their community of friends and family, have a responsibility to this couple. By our steadfast care, respect, and love, we can support their marriage and the new family they are creating today. Will everyone please rise. Will you who are present here today, surround Matt and Tisa in love, offering them the joys of your friendship, and supporting them in their marriage? If you will do this, respond by saying "We will". All: We will Tammy: You may be seated. (Wedding Vows) Tammy: Before I ask you to recite your vows, I'd ask you to remember that love – which is rooted in respect, trust, and acceptance – will be the foundation of your deepening relationship. Learn to appreciate your differences and strive to make the important things matter and to let go of the rest. Keep the vows you take here today, not because of any external authority, but out of a desire to love and be loved by another – and your life together will be joyful. Please repeat after me. (Tammy – with Matt repeating) I Matt, take you, Tisa to be my wife and my constant friend. I will work to create a bond of honesty, respect, and trust that grows along with us. I vow to honor and respect you for all that you are and will become, taking pride in who we are, both separately and together. I promise to challenge you, and to accept challenges from you. I will join with you and our community to create a better world, where love and friendship will be recognized and celebrated in all their many forms. Above all, I will give you my love. I pledge this to you from the bottom of my heart, from this day forward. (Tammy – with Tisa repeating) I Tisa, take you, Matt to be my husband and my constant friend. I will work to create a bond of honesty, respect, and trust that grows along with us. I vow to honor and respect you for all that you are and will become, taking pride in who we are, both separately and together. I promise to challenge you, and to accept challenges from you. I will join with you and our community to create a better world, where love and friendship will be recognized and celebrated in all their many forms. Above all, I will give you my love. I pledge this to you from the bottom of my heart, from this day forward. (Rings) (Matt and Tisa say one at a time) I give you this ring as a symbol of the vows we make here today. I give you this ring as a symbol of the vows we make here today. (PRONOUNCEMENT) By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. You may kiss the bride Tammy: As Matt and Tisa have chosen one another through the insight of loving grace, may they be protected from all harm and led forth in peace. May their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts and a mantle about their bodies. May love surround them as they live into their promises. In a world that often knows little peace, let their life together be a sign of hope that others may be assured that unity can overcome estrangement, openness can help resolve conflict, and acceptance can conquer despair. May they have wisdom and discipline in their daily living. May they be encouraged to be true, loyal and caring. May they be nurtured in their work and in their companionship. May they be surrounded in all the beauty of light, all the power of love and all the freedom of speaking truthfully. May all present to these vows be renewed in their commitments and discover new strength and joy. The wedding is not over, it has just begun. For a marriage is not ever completed, but is a promise whose fulfillment is lived out in time. Ladies and Gentlemen, I now present Mr. & Mrs. Mesic (Recessional: Stevie Wonder.) Tisa and Matt exit Bridal party exits Tammy: Please join us for a reception in Deyo Hall, across the lawn on Broadhead Ave. Thank you! 2 agree Reply This has just inspired me to text my fiancee and ask if we can end the ceremony with the officiant saying "Goodbye, kids. Have fun storming the castle." 6 agree Reply I love love love love the use of "You may now gross everyone out." Best Ever! Reply Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked * Comment Participate in this conversation via e-mail No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy. Biz owners & wedding bloggers Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. If you want to promote your stuff on Offbeat Bride, join us as an advertiser instead.