The best decision I made in my marriage? Keeping my name. #Features#last names February 29 | Guest post by Ashley Lauren S. Thanks to Jayme Lover for uploading this to the Flickr Pool. Jayme explains this name jumble: I kept my last name, so one of my mentors was jesting about it. (Note: She didn't change her last name when she got married either.) The best decision I ever made was keeping my last name when I got married in October 2010. I didn't change. I didn't hyphenate. I didn't merge. I didn't decide to use my name professionally and his name socially. I didn't make my name a middle name and take his as a last name. I didn't take any of the plethora of options out there regarding this important decision. I simply kept my name the way it was. There are many, many stories out there about why women have chosen to change their names upon getting married. In fact, a recent survey by TheKnot.com stated that 86 percent of women getting married are changing their names. Furthermore, another survey by the Gender and Society Journal has stated that about half of the participants think that changing one's name should be a requirement for marriage. Related Post Top 5 reasons hyphenated names are awesome Offbeat intern, Becca, and her sister brainstormed why their hyphenated last name kicks ass. Here's our top five reasons! Women keep their name for a variety of reasons. For some, it is a feminist decision that defies patriarchal norms that often come along with becoming a wife. For others, a name can reflect one's culture; when you have a culturally specific name and your partner does not, giving up that name can feel like giving up your culture, too. For still more women, it's about working hard to build a career in a culture that uses social media to associate people with their names. This is not a conclusive list, but the decision to keep one's name — no matter the reason — is an important choice for many women, and one that should not be taken away. Granted, sometimes changing your name seems easier than keeping it — after the visit to the Social Security office, and the DMV, and calling credit card and billing agencies, to be sure everything is up to date. When you don't change your name, that stuff is easy; you don't have to do anything at all. But socially, when you are constantly asked, "What's your new name?" and then given disapproving or confused looks when you respond that you kept your name, it can be disheartening. Even more disappointing is when you start to receive cards in the mail from friends and family addressed to Mr. and Mrs. His Name. However, the benefits for me have been immense. My name symbolizes my identity, and it was very important for me to be able to retain my identity when I got married. Of course, you have to fit your life in with another person, but the symbolism of completely becoming part of him, while he wasn't symbolically becoming part of me, was too much to bear. Plus, as a little girl, I never dreamed of having articles or books published or earning advanced degrees as Ashley Lauren SomeoneElse'sName, but I did dream of seeing Ashley Lauren S___ on bookshelves and diplomas. There are as many reasons to keep your name as there are to change it, and the decision is not one to make lightly. The choice should be ours to make with our families, whatever that choice is. Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Guest post written by Ashley Lauren S. Ashley Lauren S. teaches high school English in the suburbs of Chicago. She writes at Small Strokes, and is also a senior editor at Gender Across Borders where she writes about global feminist issues. http://smallstrokesbigoaks.com PREVIOUS Mojo, mojitos, and a hair cutting ceremony: This might be the most DIY wedding you'll ever see NEXT Maddy & Jacob's garden and arcade geeky wedding Toggle comments [ 204 ] Read more comments ‹ 1 … 3 Comments are closed.