Supposed-wedding trend: "Global meats"

By on Jan 25th

Photo by Luz Adriana Villa A., remixed under Creative Commons license.

So, we were sent a 2012 wedding trend report press release, and half of it was slightly interesting and the other half was just full of WTF-ery. Most notably this little gem:

Wedding Food
In: Global meats
Out: Bacon, bacon, bacon
"Lean global meats like goat, kangaroo, antelope and horse will be big," predicts [name redacted], whose clients include Will Smith, Kelly Ripa and Regis Philbin.

Of course, after we giggled over the term "global meats," Ariel took it to Facebook — "According to a press release we just got, 'global meats' is the hot new wedding trend. GLOBAL MEATS!!" — hilarity ensued. Here are a few of our favorite exchanges:

Amanda: Only the jet-settingest meats will do!
Ariel: I gotcher GLOBAL MEAT right here, ladies. (Yeah, I said it)
Caroline: I think I'll stick with agoraphobic veggies.
Laura: I smell a new Pinterest board! (Seriously. You can smell it!)
Ariel: Dude you guys: eating goat flesh out of a mason jar is SO hot right now.
Sariah: We're importing only the finest antelope from the Savannah a la Lion King for our wedding!
Sarah: ‎"Now remember, Simba. When we die, our bodies become the grass. And the antelope eat the grass. Grass-fed antelope is all the rage right now in those American weddings. Thus continues the Circle of Life."
Megan: If I get another wedding invitation with a menu selection of "chicken or steak" I'm gonna cross it out and write "global meats or GTFO!"
Stefanie: because nothing says i love you like eating animals you might find in a zoo

And, come on guys, global meats as a trend? Really?

(Be sure to check out our takes on OTHER wedding trends.)

Read more posts about: ,


About Megan Finley

Megan Finley is the Associate Publisher for the Offbeat Empire. When she's not slaving away for the Empire, she's sharing her dork side on her own blog, Twitter @meganfinley, and Instagram @meggyfin.