Our gay discount: how same-sex couples occasionally come out on top

Budgeting Advice Guestpost by Jennifer on December 19, 2011 7

Almost everything having to do with gay marriage can run the gamut of SUPER complicated to not even legal. It's hard to get a break. But find out how sometimes being a queer bride can help you a super deal! -Megan

Kiona and Jennifer's engagement photo by John Newsome Photography

Now that we have a venue and the date is set, my partner and I set out on a mission to get an awesome photographer. Our whole wedding is going to cost under 12K, but we budgeted $1500 for photography. We are going the DIY route for most things. The only other expenses that come close are venue, food, alcohol (we have a guest list of 250+), and changing our names. I have been moaning and groaning for a while about the fact that hetero couples get to change their names as part of their marriage certificate stuff, for generally less than $200; while my partner and I each have to cough up $400 so we can share a last name.

Luckily, karma is real.

We found an awesome photographer for our engagement shoot. He did it for free because we are two ladies and he wants his portfolio to show that he's an ally, and will shoot same sex weddings and commitment ceremonies.

Our engagement shoot was in California, where we live, our wedding will be in Arizona, where both of our families live, (I know, I know, the irony of the SoCal lezzies going to AZ for a wedding at a ranch). We looked into some Arizona photographers and asked what we could get for $1500. Answer: not much. 3-4 hours of photography, 100-200 images, the end.

Sometimes being a queer bride gets you a super deal!

So we decided to ask our engagement photographer if he would be willing to travel to Arizona for our wedding, and what his packages would cost. Answer: Yes, I'd love to have your wedding in my portfolio and I love Tucson. Look at my packages, select what you want, and NAME YOUR PRICE!

At this point I was dancing on my couch reading his email. For $1500 we are getting an awesome professional photographer for the full day of the wedding, 400 images (all of them edited!), a trash the dress photo shoot after our honeymoon, AND he's willing to stay in the lodging at the wedding site with our families which means he'll be present at the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and brunch the morning after the wedding! Normally he would charge $1900 plus his flights. Sometimes being a queer bride gets you a super deal!

So, word of advice to other LGBTQIA brides: if your photographer seems super chill and they don't already have queer weddings on their website or in their portfolio, remind them of the business they could get by expanding their portfolio and ask them how much that's worth. :)

[Editor's note: When I was shooting weddings, I definitely took a hit and gave a discount to the first lesbian couple that booked me, so as to show a more well-rounded portfolio, as well as to help the cause. This shit is REAL, folks! Also, remember, it's not just same-sex couples that could reap the benefits of photography discounts, check out the offbeat advantage negotiating with wedding photographers. -Megan]


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About Jennifer

We (Kiona and Jennifer) are two brides-to-be from Tucson, Arizona. Kiona is a dancer, and Jennifer is a writer. Clearly we have other jobs too, because cardboard boxes don't make the most comfy homes. We met and fell in love in college and have survived periods of long distance that have made our hearts grow fonder. We recently moved to San Diego, CA and we love it here.

http://offbeatbride.ning.com/profile/Daelyn

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Comments (7)
  • Nothing to contribute, really, except to note that Kiona and Jennifer are ADORKABLE and I want to give them hugs for being so prosh.

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  +3 readers agree with this comment
  • I'm a bridal designer and I've been waiting for the day that a same sex couple come along and ask for matching dresses. I would absolutely do this at cost price because I would love the photos in my portfolio. I have made lots of dresses for same sex marriages, but never for both brides.

    Early on in my business I made dresses for brides who I knew were totally going to rock their dress for huge discounts to fit their budgets. My advice is to always ask – you may get lucky!

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  +1 readers agree with this comment
  • OMG you two are beautiful and look like models! Have an amazing wedding and marriage, and please share some of the gorgeous photos after the wedding!

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • You two are beautiful! Congrats! Just so you know, if you file for a legal domestic partnership, you can change your names for only the cost of the filing ($33?). When my lovely other and I filed, we couldn't change our names because of other reasons. Now, I wish we had and just dealt with it. Also, the domestic partnership won't interfere with a legal civil ceremony should it ever become legal in CA. Best to you both! I hope your wedding is all that you want it to be and more! (:

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
    • Leah ~ Was your comment specific to CA or which state? My partner and I are having a civil ceremony later this fall in PA and Julia wants to change her last name to match mine. I need to figure out what the policy is here in PA.

      VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

        THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • I found JayLee photography (Seattle- and Phoenix-based) through OBB. They are giving my partner and I an incredibly stellar deal, and I can't say enough positive about them! We are currently planning an early honeymoon to Seattle to go get our free engagement shoot. Very exciting!

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment

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