Open expectations: stop wanting the perfect wedding

Guestpost by Melde on Nov. 8th
meirybomb prep2

Offbeat Bride Tribe member Meirybomb. Photo by Jon Cancelino

Since I got engaged, I've been saying that I have "open expectations," an idea that was inspired by Offbeat Bride. I tend to use the phrase like this: "My expectations are not low — they are open."

A corollary to enjoying open expectations might be working on a tight budget or desiring to not micromanage; both are true for me, but certainly wouldn't have to be for others. I bet open expectations could be a helpful philosophy regardless of one's situation.

At thirty-three days to go until my wedding, I've learned that the best thing about open expectations is this:

Open expectations get met beyond what you could have come up with or hoped for.

My standing answer to the question of "can I do something for your wedding?" has been "yes!" Something I wouldn't have been able to do if my expectations had been more rigid.

  • Can a master gardener who knew my step-father when he was in Sunday school, and has never met me make a floral arrangement, for free? Hells yeah.
  • Can my brother's close friend from high school fold us a thousand paper cranes? God yes!
  • Can my parents bring guacamole for everyone, since my partner and I don't like guacamole, and were opposed to spending our limited budget on it? Sure! Why ever not!

I didn't ask for any of these things. I didn't hint that we needed them, because we didn't. No one "needs" a thousand paper cranes, but let me tell you, receiving that gift felt pretty fucking phenomenal.

I really hope that after the wedding I'll be able to carry my open expectations into married life. Open expectations for marriage: I anticipate we shall rock them.

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About Melde

I graduated in a recession where I can't get hired (gotta love the liberal arts degree) so I'm mostly just a stay-at-home mom to two pets. I putter around, cook like a demon, visit my aging grandparents, and, as of late, have taken up wedding planning. There's a definite sense that I'm living someone else's life. The way I know I'm still me? I'm trying to figure out how many Joss Whedon references I can incorporate into my wedding.