A month ago, I wasn't sure this party was going to happen. Suddenly I was a month away from hosting a huge party for a big bunch of people (more than my wedding!) and I realized I had NO IDEA what I was doing. I am a publisher, not an event planner! This is not my gig! I had visions of the gorgeous space I'd booked completely empty, the only attendees being a half-smattering of my bored friends standing around out of pity, and my Empire staffers shuffling around uneasily. "Is there anything to eat?" someone would say, and I'd be all "OH SHIT. I forgot to finalize the catering with Shooby Doo." This was my special nightmare.
I called the folks at Urban Light Studios, and told them I might have to cancel the event… but they wouldn't let me back out. "We know someone who can help," they told me. "You're going to love her." And thus, thanks to Kelli from Shindig Events, the Offbeat Empire party was not only saved — it was ROCKED THE FUCK OUT. Please oh please, come with me as I relive the evening via the amazing photos captured by Jonas Seaman…
The purpose of this party was to celebrate a chunk of my staff being in town for Geek Girl Con, and so I really wanted to make sure I made the whole thing feel special for my staff. The ladies were shuttled from their hotel to Urban Light Studios in the Barbie Dream Hearse, and when they arrived at the studio they were immediately ushered down to one of the galleries where a team of white-hot amazing stylists from VAIN were waiting to do their hair. Seriously: all of us who work from home spend most of our time in ponytails and pajamas, so getting hairs did before the party was a BIG DEAL:
Some of you may remember me talking about VAIN before — it's been my go-to Salon since Clinton was in office, and I've done giveaways and events with them for years. It was a real treat, however, to hand them my most precious commodity: the heads of my staff!
Once all staff hairs were up-did, it was time to throw the doors open — according to RSVPs, we were over-capacity and I was a little freaked out to hear there was a line down the block to get in. But unlike my nightmare, all the appetizers from Shooby Doo Catering were ready and the cupcakes from The Chic Cupcake were out…
All the special cards from our sponsors were displayed…
The staff made sure Urban Light Studio's photo booth was all warmed up…
And then it was time to throw open the doors and let the party officially begin!
After an hour of mingling and eating and drinking and talking and laughing, everyone gathered in the main room while we raffled off sweet-ass goodies from Little Things Wedding Favors and Bubble Genius Soaps — culminating in the raffling off of an AMAZING top hat from Topsy Turvy Design.
AND THEN! Shit, that's when the party got really insane, with a nerdy burlesque performance hosted by JoJo Stiletto, including some Firefly-themed numbers from Whedonesque Burlesque, and an over-the-top Bride of Frankenstein routine from local legend Hottie McNaughty. (Because really, does it get more offbeat than the Bride of Frankenstein!?)
BUT WAIT! As if half-naked ladies weren't party enough, that's when we pulled out local Karaoke freakshow Baby Van Beezly for some over-the-top Empire karaoke.
Baby Van Beezly's karaoke is more than just standing there and singing — the whole shebang slipped into crazy dancing white-hot shit-show at that point.
And without a doubt, the star of this white-hot shit-show? Local photography legend Jenny Jimenez, who grabbed the mic and hit the floor — quite literally, in fact. She high-kicked. She spun. She did the splits and then crawled across the dance floor, all while singing FAME.
And then she made me spank her.
From there, it's all a blur. I should probably just let Jonas Seaman's the photos do the talking now. Seriously, these photos. YOU GUYS. These photos:
Thank GAWD local videographer Tim O'Hara was there to record the event — because seriously, this party was even worse than my wedding when it comes to "Having so much fun that I barely remember anything."
It's like one minute I was getting my hair did, the next minute, I was pouring drunk staff into a taxi…
And then it was over.
HOLY SHIT, THAT HAPPENED
So, yeah. That party. That party was amazing — in fact, all told a bigger to-do than my own wedding. (More people, more vendors, more logistics.) I'm not even sure where to start on thanking people. Here's the short list of people who helped with the event:
- Event coordination: Kelli from Shindig Events for saving the day
- Venue: The whole gang from Urban Light Studios for giving us a home
- Food: Shubert from Shooby Doo Catering for making my hungry-guest nightmares disappear, and for having a bartender so sweet that half my staff adopted him, and The Chic Cupcake for rocking the goodies
- Flowers: Robot In Bloom for the centerpieces
- Favors: ZOMG Smells for making everyone smell like a Baby Unicorn Party, This Charming Candy for reinventing lollipops, Little Things Wedding Favors for so many things, but especially the fans we passed out when the party got too hot, and Bubble Genius making a dirty party a little cleaner
- Entertainment: Baby Van Beezly for the songs, and Sweet Shon (aka DJ No Sleeves) for not only playing the music, but also taking off his shirt when I asked him to — oh and of course Whedonesque Burlesque and Hottie McNaughty for the boobs!
- Hair: VAIN for getting my staff out of their usual uniform of greasy ponytails
- Hats & fascinators: Topsy Turvy Design
- Transportation: Barbie Dream Hearse for getting us there
- Security: My dear friends Ben and Arielv for working the door
- Videography: Tim O'Hara for exceeding all expectations with his videography (added bonus of best dimples in the room. Pro-tip for brides: you want someone this nice and nice-looking recording your wedding. TRUST.)
- Photography: Jonas Seaman for capturing it all with his amazing eye.
Oh, and speaking of Jonas, if you want even MORE photos of this amazing night? Get thee to Jonas Seaman's blog!
WHEW. Now I must go sleep a LOT in preparing for this upcoming weekend, when there will be ANOTHER meet-up — this time in NYC.
PS to the staffers who didn't make it to the party. NEXT TIME, BITCHES. Next time…