Cake cutting 1 © by hindsightbride, used under Creative Commons license.
I can't really blame her; the media has glamorized wedding planning, to where people assume we fuss about flower arrangements, hang fake jewels at varying heights, con helpless brides into overspending, and compare the eggshell swatches so we don't get *GASP* ivory table linens, all while wearing professional/sexy designer outfits.
So what does a wedding planner actually DO?
- I perform a service. Can you do this yourself? Yes, much like you can change your own oil or do your own plumbing. What you pay for is the convenience of having someone else worry about it. That is the very nature of the service industry — all the pretty stuff is just bonus.
- I'm a neutral party. I don't really care if your Aunt Edna hates my guts because we didn't use her neighbor's daughter to make the cupcakes. I have no family feuds to take part in or worry about. No one at your wedding has diapered my bum, so for the most part I am treated like the professional adult I am. On the rare cases where I'm not, I don't have to worry about so-and-so hating my guts for the next five years. This is a huge weight off of you, because you can feel free to blame everything on the crazy wedding planner. I'm OK with it really, as long as YOU are happy.
- I see the big picture. Lots of times when planning, anyone can become zeroed in on tiny minute details and not see the forest for the trees. "OMG I've been so worried about the cake topper I forgot to order the cake!" Since this isn't my wedding, it isn't personal to me. Not that I don't care about your wedding — I DO, because I care about you, and it's my job — but I can think rationally about all aspects of it.
- I'm not a guest. As per the Unplugged post, your guests should be able to fully immerse themselves in your wedding. I might shed a tear, or two or twenty, but I am there to make sure the caterer is setting the food out, that the DJ is set to go, and that the roller derby cocktail waitresses have their pads on. You don't have to worry about me having a good time — trust me, I am.
- I am your middleman. I have this wacky thought that couples should enjoy their wedding day. It's much harder to do when a million people are running up to you with mini catastrophes when all you want to do is soak in the moment of the big ass life change you just made, and bask in the happy. My job is to make sure you have as many moments of happy as humanly possible by handling the mini catastrophes for you.
- I do lots of weddings. This is a horrible fact of the wedding industry, but some nasty vendors out there give crappy service because they don't think they need to impress you. You're likely to only get married once, then they don't have to deal with you again. However, they DO want to impress me, because I can recommend them to hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of potential new clients. The alternative is badmouthing them with my planner friends and doing my best to make sure they never get another wedding. Unlike some rating sites, the planning community doesn't take bribes to remove bad reviews.
- I keep your best interests in mind. Caterer leave the venue a mess? I clean it up. Rental company forget the generator? That's on me. Table cloths have strange stains? I take pics so you get a refund, then chalk and hairspray the crap out of them to make them purity again. I hand out your final payments to vendors, so there are no detours on your way to wedded bliss. You are MY couple: your happiness is my goal in life.
So in conclusion, do you NEED a wedding planner/day-of coordinator? No, but you might want one.
About Ang Jandak
A graphic designer by day, chat mod by night, wedding planner on the weekends, she loves nothing more than digging through piles of junk to turn it into something amazing, and solving the world's problems (Or at least the interesting ones). She lives in the preppy wilderness of New England, with her musician husband of umpteen months, and her three hairy drooling dogs, where her free time is spent being adorable.
Sarah said
I just got engaged and I'm starting to get a little overwhelmed so this post was a big help.
And OMG Ang, you're awesome! I love your website, especially your take on weddings. =) I really wish that I could afford to fly you to Wisconsin, but I'm hoping that I can find someone here that shares these views.
Anyway, thanks for the post and the help and the awesomeness!
stormsgrey said
Sounds like a great idea to have a wedding planner no matter what kind of wedding your having. I would love to have a wedding planner for my renewal (we just had a simple ceremony and no reception) but was afraid of the cost and I have looked for one but no luck for one near me. Im outside of cincinnati ohio area.
Aimee said
Any suggestions on finding an excellent planner in my area?
Ang said
The OBB Vendor directory is a great place to start.
Susan said
Many brides just don't understand how much work it is to plan a fab event. And yes, wedding planners may in many cases actually save the bride money because of all their connections in the industry and knowledge.
Great post on wedding planners.
KathyRo said
SOLD.
If I ever have a wedding, I'm hiring a planner.
Kitty said
This is a really late comment, but I would have loved to have paid for a GOOD wedding coordinator like Ang seems to be. Our venue came with a wedding coordinator and she was a nightmare to deal with – bitchy, uninterested, and downright un-helpful. We truly were just another check to her. She didn't even know my husband's name.
My mom acted as a surrogate planner for us, as we were living 2+ hours away from the wedding location (and my husband was living in a different country all together until a month before!)
A good wedding planner is worth his/her weight in gold!
Heather said
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want to hire a wedding planner BEFORE my partner officially proposes. I've set some *ahem* rather demanding standards for the proposal (ok, they're not that demanding, just that I want it to be dressed up, in public, and SOON), and I know he'd love a little help making sure that the story of our proposal is something we will both cherish and want to tell our children–and parents, for that matter! We are planning a dual-location cross-country wedding, and I think a wedding planner is crucial to that success.
Michele said
This is awesome! I want a wedding planner, even if it's just for a few things here and there and someone to be there on the day of. I just think I might scream if I have to add one more thing (and expense) to this day. I have thought about asking a friend to do this, and my fiance has talked about assigning jobs to his family, but then I think "they are already going to have enough to do". Then again, he slaved over his sisters wedding and figures she owes him some payback. Still a neutral third party, maybe even with some awesome ideas I hadn't thought of, would be so great. I'm afraid to ask how much it would cost.
Kari said
Hi Michele,
You may want to see if a planner that you like/is near you/ etc. does consulting for those few things besides day of coordination. I do, and I know that Ang does (she even does a ton of stuff online). That way you don't have to pay for full planning but get a little bit more than just DOC. A lot of people just do consulting by the hour to come up with ideas and such. I do that a lot for craft projects. As for how much it would cost – I always believe vendors should put prices on their website. Ang does, I do, and I am sure a lot of OBB vendors do. So you shouldn't have to email and ask. Budgets range depending on what part of the country you live in, how long the planner has been working, number of guests, amount of work, etc. but anyone that you would want to work with will talk over expectations with you and you shouldn't feel nervous about asking.