Her offbeat partner: Barrett, creative director
Location & date of wedding: Barrett's work in Deep Ellum, Dallas, TX — May 29, 2010
What made our wedding offbeat: We wanted a floral-free, cake-free party where we could really relax with our guests while we celebrated. The goal of the night was to not have anyone telling us what we had to do next.
We started off the night with cocktail hour before the ceremony so that people could warm up the room and get to know each other. We wanted our guests to surround us during the ceremony, so we had everyone sitting at dinner tables and we got married in the middle of them.
The venue was a gallery space in my husband's work building. Because there were paintings on the wall, we didn't need to decorate. There were no flowers. Instead I made my own bouquet out of wires and crystals, completely inspired by one I saw on Offbeat Bride.
There was no cake either. Instead, we had cheesecake lollipops. Our centerpieces were antique Blenko glass vases that we borrowed from a local store owner who happens to collect them. I walked down the aisle to Pearl Jam's "Just Breathe," my bridemaids wore whatever they wanted and had peacock feather hair pieces, and the groomsmen and the groom all wore Converse.
Our guest book was made up of photos that guests took in our homemade photo booth. The end result was a stress-free day that allowed us to really visit with our guests and celebrate in our own way.
Tell us about the ceremony: Our officiant read a poem I picked by Mari Nichols-Haining called "Why Marriage?" that spoke to us very much.
Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person,
With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body…
Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me,
Who won't hold them against me,
Who loves me when I'm unlikable,
Who sees the small child in me, and
Who looks for the divine potential of me…
Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night
With someone who thanks God for me,
With someone I feel blessed to hold…
Because marriage means opportunity
To grow in love in friendship…
Because marriage is a discipline
To be added to a list of achievements…
Because marriages do not fail, people fail
When they enter into marriage
Expecting another to make them whole…
Because, knowing this,
I promise myself to take full responsibility
For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness
I create me,
I take half of the responsibility for my marriage
Together we create our marriage…
Because with this understanding
The possibilities are limitless.
We also did a reading from "The Velveteen Rabbit," and took a moment to individually recognize members of our family who have been married for 35+ years.
Some friends and family couldn't come because they couldn't make accommodations for their children, but we had to be fair and keep the same rules for everyone.
My favorite moment: Seeing my vision for the entire day (that had been doubted by some) come together into such a gorgeous party was very rewarding. I also loved having my father walk me down the aisle to my favorite Pearl Jam song — it was really special.
After the ceremony, my husband and I went and ate dinner by ourselves for 20 minutes to soak up everything that happened in the ceremony. It was very private and romantic, and we loved just being able to reflect.
My funniest moment: Our officiant began the ceremony just like in "The Princess Bride." "Mah-waaaage… Mah-waaaaage is what bwings us togevaaaaaah today."
Was there anything you were sure was going to be a total disaster that unexpectedly turned out great? The space we used is a very stark, loft-style space. I was a little worried we wouldn't be able to transform the room into something special, but we really liked it after hanging little white Christmas lights from the ceiling.
My advice for offbeat brides: From the very beginning, make a list of what you must have, and what you can live without. For instance, we were all about the food and photography, not so much the cake, gown, and flowers. Reference this list to keep your original idea grounded, because trust me, you will lose sight of the big picture every now and then.
Eliminate as much as you can from the beginning. We didn't need a rehearsal dinner or a band. Having less to stress about gives you more time to enjoy everything! Look around your neighborhood for ideas. We got our centerpieces from a store owner across the street who happens to collect vases and had them displayed in his window.
Find out about your friends' talents and use them as resources. I had my hair and makeup done for free this way. And try to use the day of the wedding to enjoy yourself, not DO everything yourself. Hiring a wedding coordinator for just the day of the wedding is well worth the money.
What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding? Get your partner's help. If something isn't in your budget, that doesn't mean you can't have it… you just have to get creative. And be sure that you always say please and thank-you.
Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?
- Photographer: Helmut Walker Photography (Found on Offbeat Bride! We can't thank them enough for taking the most gorgeous photos we've ever seen.)
- Veil: Emma's Bridal Boutique
- Dress: Terry Costa (in the prom dress section!)
- Catering: Remarkable Affairs
- Bridesmaids Peacock Hairpieces: Etsy
Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!