How to have an unplugged wedding: copy 'n' paste wording and templates
Wedding trends
By
on June 14, 2011
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Yesterday we talked about why some couples are planning unplugged weddings, asking guests to put away their cell phones and cameras. Today, we're diving into the nitty gritty of how to make it happen.
So you want to have an unplugged wedding — maybe at least the ceremony. Encouraging your guests to put down their favorite devices can be a delicate dance… as one member of the Offbeat Bride Tribe snapped, "If I was told I had to leave my phone at home, I'd likely stay with it." Yikes! As with any special request you make of your wedding guests, you need to be sensitive and respectful.
If you're unsure how request unplugging in a way that won't piss off your guests, we're here to help. Below, we've got copy 'n' paste wording ideas for your officiant, wedding website, program, invitations — and even some pre-designed printable signs you can post at the venue!
Before the wedding…
Talk to your photographer
Remember: wedding guests take photos because they want to be able to re-live and share the experience of the day. If you're considering an unplugged wedding, you must commit to sharing photos with guests and make plans for how you're going to do so. Work with your wedding photographer to ensure you can make a small set of photos (even just five shots!) available digitally to guests within a couple days of the wedding. You can share them via email, your wedding website, or facebook — the method doesn't matter. Just make sure you've got it figured out with your photographer before your unplugged wedding.
Wording for wedsites & programs
If you're sharing wedding information online with guests via a wedding website, you can warn give them some perspectives before the wedding about why you're asking them to leave their devices off:
Unplugged wedding
We want you to be able to really enjoy our wedding day, feeling truly present and in the moment with us. We've hired an amazing wedding photographer named _________ who will be capturing the way the wedding looks — and we're inviting each of you to sit back, relax, and just enjoy how the wedding feels. We're respectfully asking that everyone consider leaving all cameras and cell phones off. Of course we will happy to share our wedding photos with you afterward!
You could include a short note in your programs:
We want you to be able to relax and have fun with us today! This in mind, we invite you to put down all your favorite devices and just be present in the moment with us. Please leave your camera in your bag (we've got photography covered!), and put your cell phone on mute (we promise they'll call back!).
We're happy to share our professional wedding photos later, but the greatest gift you can give us today is just being fully here with us in this sacred and special moment.
Offbeat Bride Tribe member Aron is including this text in her program:
The bride and groom have asked that you share in their wedding fully and not through the lens of a camera or cell phone.
Offbeat Bride Tribe member Audra included this text her her program:
The text reads: No Pictures Please
We are honored that you are here today and present with us during the ceremony. Two photographers are covering the ceremony. We request that you refrain from photography during the entire ceremony. We promise that there will be plenty of images at your disposal!
(You can read more about how Audra did things on her blog.)
At the wedding…
Enforcing unplugging
Appoint a member of your wedding party to help encourage other guests to put down their devices at the wedding. It doesn't have to be high-drama: all they have to do is sidle up to their fellow guest and say quietly, "The bride and groom have asked me to respectfully suggest guests to put down their electronics and just enjoy the day. Can I ask you to put your camera/phone away?" Whatever you do, don't rely on your photographer to be the heavy; it's not their job to make your guests behave. Plus, when the request to put away the camera or phone comes from a fellow guest, it's less likely to be seen as a grumpy encounter.
Wording ideas for officiants
The easiest way to remind your guests to power down their devices is to have your officiant make a brief announcement before the ceremony. A few ideas, ranging from the sacred to the silly:
Spiritual:
The couple respectfully requests that all guests honor the sanctity of this moment by turning off cell phones and cameras.
Emotional:
I invite you to be truly present at this special time. Please, turn off your cell phones and put down your cameras. The photographer will capture how this moment looks — I encourage you all to capture how it feels with your hearts, without the distraction of technology.
Ridiculous:
Ladies and gentlemen, prior to wedding take-off, all seat backs and tray tables must be in their upright and locked positions, all bags properly stowed, and all portable electronic devices turned off and stowed. This includes cell phones and cameras.
Thanks to Offbeat Bride Tribe member Rockwell for this one:
As Shakespeare once said, please turn off your cell phones.
Offbeat Bride Tribe member Cat named mouse shared this anecdote:
At my best friend's wedding, the rabbi asked the bride to turn around and face the audience after her parents walked her to the alter. At this time he said, "Everyone, get the photo you really want now, because we ask that your cameras remain off for the remainder of the ceremony."
Jessie Blum of Eclectic Unions
uses this template:
Good afternoon! It is my pleasure to welcome you to the wedding of Name and Name. Please take a moment to silence any cell phones or other noisy electronics. If you would also take a moment to put your cameras away, Jody and Steven have requested that no photos be taken during the ceremony today — thank you so much for your understanding. The ceremony will begin shortly.
Printable signs for ceremony venue
We teamed up with indie invitation designer Lenore Tucker-MacLeod from A Small Bird to offer you downloadable signs to print and post at your wedding venue. Lenore cranked out several different styles, perfect for a range of wedding styles.
Circles
Flowery
Steampunk
Modern
Gatsby/Vintage
After the wedding…
Share your photos!
Make sure you share a few images with your guests within a couple days of the wedding — for a Saturday wedding, Monday or Tuesday is ideal. The wedding is still fresh in your guests' minds, and it's a great way to carry some of the wedding day job into the work-week. As soon as all your wedding photos are available, make prints to include with each thank you card. If possible, also make wedding photos available to guests online.
So, are you having an unplugged wedding?
We'd love to hear from you about how you're respectfully asking guests to turn off their cell phones and cameras. Leave a comment below!
About Ariel Meadow Stallings
Author of Offbeat Bride: Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides, Ariel acts as the publisher of all the Offbeat Empire websites. She lives, loves, and dorks out hard in Seattle, WA.
Girl_Squishy said
I had never even thought about this, but after reading the articles posted over the last couple of days we have decided to go unplugged as well. Thanks for the wording and signs!
Danikat said
Ok, I give up. I've read both articles and the discussion on the tribe and I just can't wrap my head around this.
I'm not a huge fan of technology, I have never yet used my phone to go online and was very suprised that I managed to take 80 photos at a music festival, but my natural reaction to cameras at my wedding was the complete opposite of this idea.
I put a note on our website reminding people to bring cameras and will have a page up for them to share photos afterwards, I'm even planning to bring my own camera just in case. All on top of hiring a pro.
Honestly for me the benefits of having more photos overall and letting everyone get the shots they want far out weigh the negatives, especially since I've never seen anyone actually getting in the way at other weddings. I don't doubt it happens but I feel safe with our guests.
That said it's an interesting idea and I'd like to hear how it works out for other people. Only thing is I definately agree that you need to share the pro photos with all your guests and let them know that in advance so they know they're not being asked to miss out for the sake of your album.
bratzy said
I love the idea of an unplugged wedding ceremony – and part of me wishes I could do it for the reception too but knowing my fiance's family that's not going to happen!
I have a big thing about my privacy, to the point where I HATE people putting pictures of me on fb without asking, or tagging pics of me. Yes I am that anal
What would annoy me most I think is seeing pics of my wedding all over fb for the world to see. I know some people don't mind this but for me it's a complete no no.
bruiseviolet said
You can always put something about please refrain from photos during the cermony… photos are welcome at the reception, however if you are posting on facebook, the bride and groom kindly request that you do not tag them in the photos.
Also, if you do get tagged, you can untag yourself and the person won't be allowed to re-tag you in that photo again.
Rebecca said
I think the hard thing to remember in all of this is it is YOUR wedding. Those vows mean a lot to you. But to the majority of the people of the wedding (minus your very very close family) it really won't mean a whole lot to them. Besides another wedding. Telling people what they can and can't do in your wedding is a little offensive. You can't MAKE people pay attention to you if they don't want to.
bruiseviolet said
Amen. THat is my point exactly. Most of the people attending your wedding, aren't going to give much a crap about stuff. I mean honestly, can you remember vows from any weddings you've been to? I sure can't. I remember things like, "oh that wedding was so non-fussy and we had a total blast!" or "oh yeah I remember that wedding, it stunk because it was 'all about the bride' and we were constantly reminded of it with all their rules. Gee we didn't enjoy or have fun at that wedding"
People aren't going to remember all the little details so many brides seem to fuss over.
I realize vows are important and special to the bride and groom and possibly parents and immediate family, but as the above poster stated, to the rest of the people there- they don't mean much "it's just another wedding." Sure they might remember, "it was nice" or "it was sweet" or "wasn't it cute when their kids got up and said something"? But they aren't going to remember or be so enthralled in what's going on…
I am also curious, those who are commenting worrying that guests aren't going to be focused on them, are you also not allowing children to the wedding?
rc said
If other people's weddings are so boring and you "don't give a crap about stuff", why do you want so many pictures?
Megan said
Love the Steampunk design! Lots of good ideas here.
nmarie33 said
Thank you! This is the best wedding idea since the invention of the camera. It never even occurred to me to TELL people to shut it down and pay attention by looking through their eyeballs!
Rachel said
The disclaimer invoking the application of popcicle-wielding, ketchup-bearing children is GOLDEN and will be used, verbatim, for my wedding ceremony. THANK YOU MUCHLY!!!
Slade Hashimoto said
Loving some of the wording for these
We will have to conveniently use them for our Ceremony. I'd like people to be /there/ for our wedding, not lost in The Grid.
Jess said
We didn't have a wedding ceremony, so we only had the reception. Other than about 10 posed photos of my husband and I with only partial parts of our families, none of the 'professional' photos his uncle took as a gift to us turned out. Not a single photo. If not for the few friends who took pictures we would literally have nothing. My family didn't take any pictures and neither did the rest of his, so while most of the pictures we do have are grainy, or weird, at least we have them. Not that I'm paranoid, but if we'd had a ceremony and told people to put down the cameras, we wouldn't have had a single shot.
Jess said
Those photos that did turn out were taken by his brother; not the uncle.
Ariel Meadow Stallings said
Jess, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation! That said, unless I'm misunderstanding, the issue to me sounds more like the result of not hiring a professional photographer — ie, relying on a family member's gift instead of hiring a pro. Not that professionals can't screw up too (we all know they can and do!) but since their professional reputation is involved, the stakes are much higher for them doing a good job.
sassy said
I've been to 2 separate weddings where guests' phones rang DURING the ceremony and THEY ANSWERED IT. Not cool. (and the longer ceremony was only 30 minutes long!) Ceremonies are meant for being fully present in that moment, everything else can wait. That is the point of calling something to ceremony–to make it special and SEPARATE from daily life.
We will definitely have a no tech policy for the ceremony….for the reception its ok but we will make some kind of *nice* note telling people to ENJOY themselves and not spend the whole time on their dam phones! Also considering putting disposables in various spots for those awesome random pictures…not sold yet though on the cost! (Could this possibly act as a distraction away from technology?)
THANKS for bringing this up!!
Seraph said
I don't think I can remember a wedding ceremony where I kept my phone ON. Maybe it's a holdover from growing up in church and being expected to be quiet and respectful of ceremony?
And if I had an unplugged wedding and someone I invited said if they couldn't use their cellphone they wouldn't come…I would be SO offended and hurt that their connection to a device overrode their connection with me. What an awful thing to say.
newlywedred said
I wish I'd seen this before our wedding. I thought guests taking pictures was going to be fine, I'd just have lots more besides what our photographer gave us! But everyone was too busy looking at the back of their screens to see if they got 'the shot' to even look at my husband and I. During our first dance no one was really paying attention, it was sad. Then to top it all off, very few people ever shared the photos they took with me and there were so many cameras. Plus there are several of our pro pics where a guest is in the way with their camera in some way. I would have a basket at the front of the church to collect the cameras if I were to do it all over again! Taking your own photos instead of witnessing the wedding is just selfish and rude.
Kayfay said
Or, to quote Edge and Christian:
"For the benefit of those with flash photography," ( Then you add) " We will now pose for 30 seconds……. Now please put your *Bleep* cameras down!!!"
Marissa said
I'm hoping for an unplugged wedding for two reasons. As a wedding photographer, I know what it's like to view a wedding through a lens versus my own eyes, and you don't fully appreciate it with a piece of glass in your face. Second, we're having a vintage-inspired wedding and want to stay true to theme. We will, however, share all of our wedding photos with our guests and have a photobooth set up where they can receive print favours. We included details on having an unplugged wedding with our guests on our wedding website: http://marissawedschris.wordpress.com
Eileen Jensen said
A little story of an "interesting" view by an officiant.
A couple of months ago, I was officiating at a beach wedding and my husband was the photographer. We ask that guests refrain from photography and videography as it is difficult to shoot around amateur "shooters", especially when performing an outdoor wedding. People would do things that they normally would never think of in an indoor venue. We know they mean well but generally don't see things from a photographers point of view.
Before the ceremony started a young lady in a bright yellow sundress came up to me and told me she was the "guest" videographer and asked the best spot for her to take video.
Not trying to be rude and tell her that she was not welcome to take video and not wanting to cause any drama with a guest or any family, I told her where to plant herself to get the best video with her little handheld, knowing that she would not be in the way of the professional photographer.
During the ceremony, I noticed that she had moved into the middle of the aisle to take video shots, while my husband was shooting the bride and groom from behind me and trying to shoot the guests emotions during the ceremony.
The "guest" videographer crouched down in the middle of the aisle, her dress was hiked up to her thighs, legs spread apart and lo and behold…..she had on NO UNDERWEAR AND A BRAZILIAN!! Are you kidding me? As I was speaking to the bride, groom and guests, that was my view and the view of my husband trying to shoot professional photos.
I asked this chick later if she thought about doing video as a pro….her response was that she really liked doing it and would definitely consider it. So I told her that I had a tip for her…next time, she should wear underwear or forget wearing a dress and put on slacks!! Her response, "Oh geez, I guess I forgot to put them on." Seriously!!
So, ladies, leave your photos and videos to the professionals and tell your guests to unplug, you never know what they are going to do, wear or NOT wear!!
Rev. Carleen Burns said
I JUST posted this yesterday in a forum:
Don't you just wish that the couple's would start putting a note in the invitations to deal with this ahead of time.
"We have booked a professional photographer. We want you to only take snapshots of the fun YOU are having. Please do not interfere with the pro as they get the ceremony and family shots, or the important moments, like our first dance, cake cutting, etc. We invited you to enjoy the evening as a guest, and do not want you to 'work' or worry about capturing those pictures. Thank you for understanding and we hope you have a wonderful time!"
Cass said
I was thinking about doing this, and put together a flyer that matched by wedding – sort of, but my fiance didn't like the idea and the photographer (a semi-professional, and a friend) said people would do it anyways, no matter how many flyers I had up. I had to agree, considering some of *his* family members.
cookeandbean said
This is AWESOME. I am BIG no cell phone when you are with people proponent. I had not thought about the phones and such at my wedding. I found awesome way to combine this with another idea I found on OB.
I will post when I can become a member in January!
Amy said
I haven't read all of the comments, so maybe this has been covered, but any tips for including this in the invitation? I just feel like if I arrived at a wedding with my camera and then was asked to not use it, I'd get kind of cranky carrying it around all night with no purpose.
Morgan said
Oh my goodness. Thank you so much for the copy and paste blurbs. I copied it verbatim into our wedsite's FAQ! I was worrying about even having an unplugged wedding in the first place because I didn't know how to announce it without feeling rude. Thank you, thank you, thank you!