The F word #WTF!?#bridentity crisis#engagement April 4 | Megan Finley meganfinley Photo by docksidepress, used by CC license. I'm putting this out there because I believe I can't be the ONLY ONE to have felt this way. Okay, here's the deal: I hate the word "fiance." My partner Aaron and I were engaged for a year and we never got used to saying it. It just felt funny on my tongue and weird coming out of my mouth. Another one of those "this feels too fancy for me" things. (I swear, I must have some sort of insane anti-"fancy shit" complex. Is there a name for that? Okay, I'm getting off topic, reign it in Megs.) It got to the point where I started to dread when I would have to introduce Aaron to someone new. There was always that moment where I thought that I'd be okay saying "my fiance" — I'd just grin and bear it, no big deal, people do it all the time, what the fuck was wrong with me — but when it came to that moment I'd just freeze. Then this kind of thing would happen all the time… John: Hey Megs, have you met Wendy? Me: No, I haven't. Hi Wendy, it's nice to meet you. Wendy: Hi Megan, nice to meet you too. Me: Wendy, this is my… (pause for inner conflict) …boyfriend, Aaron. John: Wow, you're still fighting that word, aren't you? Me: Yup. I just couldn't bring myself to use the "F word." And it caused some confusion too, like, there were whisperings about whether or not we were still planning on getting married because Aaron and I just flat out refused to switch from saying boyfriend and girlfriend to saying fiance. Aaron was the same way. From the moment we were engaged we talked about not wanting to use the word "fiance," but what are we to do!? There's no other term for it that didn't give us the wiggens; betrothed, intended, future spouse? Nope. Uh-uh. Too formal. But the fact remains that he's more than a "boyfriend" but he's not a "husband" yet. To anyone who is freely and happily using that term — good on ya mate for that! I think people should be happy to, both, be and have a fiance. For the longest time I couldn't wait to be affianced. But once I was, I just couldn't bring myself to ACTUALLY use the word. I'm telling ya, sometimes I hate myself. So, here are some of the terms we finally came up with to use instead of "fiance." Feel free to use them as your own… "Marrying girlfriend" or "marrying boyfriend." "My future partner in crime," sometimes shorted to just "partner." "The one I caught" "The guy/girl who's making an honest girl/guy out of me" "The one who would have me, despite all the glaring flaws." "That guy/girl that I'm gonna marry." "Matrimonial candidate" "Spousal Unit" as suggested by a reader Or, my favorite, introduce your partner in a french accent as in "Zees ees mah fee-yon-say." Does anyone else feel the same way about the "F word?" If so, what terms do you use instead? Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Megan Finley Megan Finley is the Associate Publisher and Editorial Overlord. When she's not slaving away for the Empire, she's sharing her dork side on her own blog. @meganfinley @meggyfin PREVIOUS Brilliant blues and some red details, too NEXT Cathy & Jon's magical romantic hideaway elopement Toggle comments [ 429 ] Comment navigation ← Older Comments Comment navigation ← Older Comments Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked * Comment Notify me of follow-up comments by email. No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy. Biz owners & wedding bloggers Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. If you want to promote your stuff on Offbeat Bride, join us as an advertiser instead.