How to talk about your wedding on Facebook without pissing people off
Advice
By
on March 30, 2011
71
So your relationship status has changed from in a relationship to engaged and now (along with gaining those horribly sexist wedding-related ads on the side bar) all of Facebook is chiming in to say "congrats" and "omg yay!" Even your second cousin, twice-removed commented that she "can't wait for the wedding!" But the thing is… you never even planned to invite 'ol what's-her-name, in fact, you only added her as a friend because your mom "suggested" you add each other. Can I get a little less awkwardness in my monitor? Yeesh.
Engaged couples have been dealing with all sorts of uncomfortable moments since the dawn of big wedding celebrations. It's just that now, in the era of Facebook, it amplifies that awkward by a degree of eleventy, and then live-streams that awkwardness to all your relatives' most recent updates.
Here are some steps you can take to reduce your wedding's Facebook time and put a cap on at least some of that wedding-time awkwardness…
Stating the obvious solution: Resist the urge to discuss your wedding on Facebook at all.
Or at least, keep it to a dull roar. Cleary, bitching about your bridesmaids on a super public forum could lead to bad blood and unnecessary wedding dramaz. Similarly, talking about how amazing a party is going to be to someone who isn't invited is terribly hurtful. Sometimes it's just better to keep your virtual mouth shut.
Hide your wedding-related status updates from non-guests by making a list.
Hint: it's easier to use the Facebook app for posting statuses to a particular lists.
Here's how to create lists on Facebook:
- Log in to your Facebook account, click "Friends" from the left sidebar.
- Then click "Edit friends" on the top right, then on the next page in the same top right section hit "Create a new list."
- Add all of the people you invited to your wedding to this list and name it as "wedding guests."
Then, when it comes time to excitedly share some info about your planning process, you could only make that status/photo/link visible to that particular list using that little lock icon.
How to make your status visible to a particular list:
Click the lock, NOT the Share button!
- Enter your status in the status bar (DO NOT hit enter yet).
- Click the lock icon in the bottom right and choose "Customise."
- Under "Make this visible to" choose "Specific people" from the drop down menu.
- Enter the name of your list (ex. "wedding guests").
- Save setting and update your status.
Create a wedding group on Facebook.
Your other (slightly more complicated) option is creating a group for your wedding guests. Then when you want to do wedding updates, you can do so on that group page instead, and only the people in that group will see your updates.
How to create groups on Facebook:
- Log on to Facebook.
- Click "create group" on the left side bar.
- Follow the instructions in the little box that pops up.
- Set it to secret and save.
The downside of this, as I've experienced myself, is that you're forcing your friends to be part of a group they may have no interest in being part of. (I can't tell you how many times I've had to remove myself from groups I never signed up for.)
Want to go a step deeper and REALLY freak out the squares?
Delete your facebook.
One of my best friends did this the moment all of her old college buddies started asking when and where. She wasn't even CLOSE to inviting those guys — they didn't even make the list of "maybes." So my girl just said "fuck it" and deleted her entire facebook page and never looked back.
For more info on deleting your facebook, check out this group.
And I mean actually deleted her Facebook.
How to actually delete your Facebook account:
- Go here
- Click "Submit" and follow the instructions.
Because apparently, the usual way people "delete" their Facebook is more like deactivating it — all of your information doesn't actually disappear. Indeed, if you don't want to entirely delete your page, you can easily disable your profile, then come back to it and it's like you never left! [Copyeditor's note: I routinely do this at exam time!]
But let's face it: these days it's way too easy for everyone to find out where you had lunch and what you purchased on Etsy. People are going to know that you got engaged, and hell, you shouldn't have to hide that fact — it's big and exciting news! People that you aren't going to invite to your wedding ARE going to know about the impending nuptials. So, you more than likely are going to have to face a few awkward comments about how excited someone is for a wedding in which they won't be attending, much less invited. When that happens, you just gotta grin and bear it. Have a few copy-and-paste responses a la Ariel.
About Megan Finley
Megan Finley is the Managing Editor for Offbeat Bride and the Associate Publisher for the Offbeat Empire. When she's not slaving away for the Empire, she's sharing her dork side on her own blog and on Twitter @meganfinley.
Danikat said
I know it's probably stating the obvious but it's worth bearing in mind that making a list or group for private status updates doesn't guarentee they'll stay private.
On top of those helpful individuals who take it on themselves to make sure everyone knows what everyone else is saying about everyone there are people who just don't realise a group or status update is supposed to be private.
I doubt there's any harm if it's just someone passing on how exciting your wedding will be to those who aren't invited (there is no rule against having a great party and not inviting everyone on earth so then the fault is all theirs for telling) but it can cause trouble if it's someone passing on how much a friend/relative is driving you insane.
Ariel said
"I know it's probably stating the obvious but it's worth bearing in mind that making a list or group for private status updates doesn't guarentee they'll stay private."
Yep: that's why Megan's first suggestion is Stating the obvious solution: Resist the urge to discuss your wedding on Facebook at all.
dootsiebug said
I really deeply recommend not putting any of it on Facebook. Any of it.
I think an invite-only, private Facebook group is ideal for only parents and other bridal party members. That way, you can keep people who need to be in the know in the know.
If you need a place to share your excitement, do it on a wedsite. By visiting your wedsite, people are expressing consent to hearing you go on and on about your WEE YAY JOY. Not so much with your Facebook friends, even if they're attending the happy affair.
Vegan Pork said
I agree with the no Facebooking wedding anything. It's one of the reasons I joined The Tribe. If I need support from friends, then I will text/call someone to share or vent, not post every little bullshit situation on the FB. I have seen the mess it makes so I chose to not switch my relationship status to "engaged" (engaged 2009, wedding circa 2012/13). It's not that I'm not happy about it, I just thought it would be less stress for me. And I'm happy with my decision.
I don't know how many times I've had to "hide" people's status on FB due to their wedding nonsense/drama, especially the ones that I wasn't invited to and even more so those who angrily post 10-20 times a day. I'm not one to engage in the negativity, so it is extremely frustrating to see someone brand themselves as a 'bridezilla'.
One of my friends did an interesting thing: she is friends with most of her fam on the FB so she signed up for a Twitter account under a pseudonym specifically for typing whatever was on her brain and also made it a point to NOT be friends w/anyone she knows. It's her outlet to type whatever she wants (or as shes says, 'to put it out into the world') and not have to worry about what other people say. I thought that was kinda clever.
dootsiebug said
Yeah… do you really want to put your questions and thoughts out to Facebook and get the opinions of all your on-beat family, friends and colleagues? If I were to post a picture on Facebook of, say, a purple wedding dress, it'd get dozens of "… whaaaat? Eew. What are you doing? Is this, like, for the reception?" comments.
I feel this way about people with babies who post only about their baby all day every day. "My kid just pooped and it was very endearing to me. He'll be eating peas later, which will be so difficult to get him to eat, but he is my baby angel child magical crotch dropling." And I'm like. "Hey, I'm friends with YOU, not your baby/husband/boyfriend/wedding."
(Uh, this sounds a bit grumpy. I mean, I love my friends and their major life events. But substituting your own identity with the current event in your life is difficult for me to navigate, yo.)
Ainslee said
word!
Jennie said
"Crotch dropling" = best phrase ever.
Bex said
Similar to the twitter thing, I have a tumblr for venting and its very theraputic knowing that i'm not going to get hastle for what ive put.
I kind of wish I could start my facebook all over again so that I don't make the mistake of adding certain people that I now feel bad deleting.
Also on facebook when you change your status you can just delete the '…. is now engaged' post from the feed so no one can see that you've changed your status unless they go looking in your info.
Vegan Pork said
ha ha! It's great to have an outlet like that, no?
Ah. Yes. I totally know about deleting posts, but with the new fb profile, in addition to the actual long-story info page, there's a mini-bio at the top of the profile page. All it will take is just one person to notice and for it to turn into a *Muy Caliente Escandalo* out of it. And if I have to edit my account preferences to NOT show relationship status, then *sigh* I feel like it's a bit of a waste :/ I'm sticking with not changing it, period.
RC said
Yes, Facebook's group feature is a pet peeve of mine too. It would be great to be able to opt in to group membership (more like a suggested friend) than just automatically be added.
If you choose to deactivate, you can download all of your Facebook content: http://www.facebook.com/video/…2657680484
Carolyn said
I've actually been lucky that, even though I'm talking about my wedding on facebook, most of my friends are really understanding that it's a small, intimate affair with mostly family and my few, closest friends. And some of my closest friend's moms. I still don't know exactly how that last part happened, but… whatever. D:
Still, I think communicating about your wedding is nice, and being able to communicate that not everybody is going to come is also nice. Some people might get upset (like FH's aunt, who basically whined herself onto the guest list. He's such a pushover.) but it's a price I'm willing to pay to share my happiness with friends who I otherwise wouldn't be able to share anything with.
Kat said
I make it a point to not mention much about my wedding on Facebook to avoid receiving comments from people who assume they are going to be invited. There have already been some awkward moments. There are lots more people we would have loved to invite, but space/budget constraints have limited our choices.
Why do people assume they are invited to weddings???? It makes me feel so bad that I can't include everyone.
Wowjunkie said
I think it comes from the Big White Wedding trend – why WOULDN'T you invite everyone you've ever met?! All 1,000 of them. It's really sad that when someone mentions they're getting married people don't think about the commitment they're making or their relationship, but about open bars, dance parties, and a free meal. Big White Wedding Thoughts can suck it.
jordannalie said
What's hilarious is even if I invited my entire friend's list, it wouldn't be considered a HUGE wedding by most standards since I keep my friends list around 150. That's actually much easier than it sounds. But there are a lot of people who aren't Facebook friends (many of who just don't have a Facebook) who'll be invited and many Facebook friends who won't.
Nelle said
It took me MONTHS to change my status, and then I guffawed when my fiance went on facebook for the first time in years and actually accepted my relationship request! After over six years together, my relationship finally wasn't with an unnamed individual!
I haven't even shared the wedding date on Facebook, so most of the WWW probably thinks I'm getting married in two years or something.
I advise not sharing too much! My co-workers know I'm engaged, but most don't even know when the wedding is because I. don't. talk. about. it. When's the wedding? This fall! Really? When? October! When? Early October!
If they don't get the hint from that!…
Wowjunkie said
Really, I think it's just rude to assume you'd be invited to anything unless you WERE specifically invited. When we were engaged I felt free to discuss specific details because if they decided to invite themselves I had no problem meeting rude with rude – they offended first. It's not everyone's style, but I've always been known as the person to go to when you want to hear the truth. "When's the wedding?" "June 12th!" "Sweet! I'll have to pencil it into my calendar!" "Why? I didn't send you an invitation…" Then they blush, mumble something, probably go back and call me a bitch, but they can't possibly misinterpret that! Unless they're seriously stupid. And really when have there EVER been social events that everyone thinks they can just show up to without an invitation?!?! ARG.
Sophie said
Haha,you are The Best!
Sarah said
Another option is to keep the wedding updates online, but take them off Facebook altogether. Not all of my family are on facebook (and Lord knows the Boyfriend doesn't check his but once every six months). The solution? YahooGroup! Private, invite-only, and emailed directly to your inbox.
You do have to put up with Yahoo's awful UI and bugginess, but really, compared to how often Facebook is rolling out "improvements" without fixing previous errors, it's six of one and half dozen of the other at this point.
Amy said
Thanks for the helpful piece! As always, OBB is awesome.
I had a run-in with all this yesterday. An annoying third cousin of mine (yes, third cousin) recently commented on a birthday post I wrote to my sister (yeah, she doesn't understand how Facebook works) and was trying to reconnect. I wrote back and said I was living in Seattle with my fiancee. Then I immediately regretted it. That side of the family might have heard I got engaged, but I really regretted reminding them. Fortunately, our wedding will be a "small destination wedding" for everyone but us (wedding in Seattle; guests coming from the Midwest and East Coast), so that should provide a good enough explanation. But oy. It was a good reminder to tread carefully.
I'm going to create a list of wedding guests and make it so only they see my very occasional updates about the wedding. I already use friend lists to prevent professional contacts and "adults" (anyone from my parents' or fiancee's parents' generation) from seeing most of my posts, mostly to avoid their annoying and incessant comments.
Donnica said
Outside of changing my status to ENGAGED and calling my fiance…FIANCE…I don't discuss my wedding at all! Reality is 80% off the people on there are NOT invited!!
vivi said
This is a very good article to have. Honestly, one should just NEVER talk about wedding stuff on facebook. When my sisters demanded to be kept in the loop (complete with wedding shopping photos) I created a private event that only they were invited to, made the event a month long, and just change the date whenever the event comes close to expiring. I also made sure they knew to show no one else, and we are able to communicate details that way.
A good "Facebook can fuck things up" story is that of my first nephew. Turns out, my sister in law and brother were so excited when they found out they were expecting they let it slip to their friends, who are in a very very tight knit giant group other other friends- who all started messaging "congrats" before my mom and dad or any of our family knew. There were certainly some ruffled feathers. Rule 1- If its at all personal, keep it OFF facebook
jordannalie said
Great piece- while I was excited to change the relationship status, I really resisted talking about the wedding on Facebook at first because I didn't want to be THAT girl. Then I realized somebody somewhere is going to think I'm THAT girl regardless of what I do and chances are I have one of those somebodies on my friends list. AND THAT'S OKAY. They don't have to like what I do and I don't have to be mad at them for not liking it. So now, if I want to talk about weddings on Facebook, I do. I follow MY thoughts on updating- I don't say negative things about my friends, I don't update every little thing… and I'm good with it.
I like the list idea- once the guest list is near to finalization, I'm doing that. Right now, I just respond with "we aren't sure who we'll be able to invite" to anyone who asks or makes awkward assumptions.
One thing that really struck me, though, is the other side of the coin. How do you deal with other people who are constantly posting about their wedding and you get negative feelings? I certainly felt stung when one of my Facebook friends getting married joined the Knot and sent out this automatic update: "Today I crossed the first official threshold of modern bridehood and visited TheKnot.com." "So I'm not an official bride?" I wanted to say. But didn't.
Sarah said
I had an issue really similar to this–a friend of mine used Facebook to stress out about her wedding in a major way, from ranting about her family and the weather forecast to mentioning how much money she was spending on things that weren't turning out the way she wanted: "I'm not spending X just so Y can go wrong!!!!" kind of posts. It was super awkward to read, because she was making herself look bad *and* I was envious that she had the amount of money she had for her wedding.
The answer? Well, the Hide feature is one.
If she's really close to you, it might be worth having a non-Facebook conversation with her (it never works to criticize someone about her behavior in such a public place as Facebook–they usually feel embarrassed, and therefore obligated to get pissed off and defend themselves).
Sorry you have to deal with that. Sometimes the best thing you can take away from a situation is "Well, now I know better than to act like *that.*"
Offbeat Megan said
Sarah basically nailed it. I don't have better advice than that. Just wanted to agree that the "hide" feature is your best friend when it comes to not wanting to deal with whiny friends.
If you aren't familiar with the "hide" feature. Just click on the X that appears next to your whiny friends update, you can choose to hide that particular post, or hide your friend's posts completely.
miranda said
This is my favorite feature on fb.
ieatglitter said
Similarly, my iPhone Twitter app has a "mute" feature. If I don't want to hurt someone's feelings/lose access to them by "unfollowing" them I can simply "mute" that person so the noise will stop (unbeknownst to that person) but the friendship can persist. I don't know if all Twitter apps have this feature, so you may want to check yours.
Ariel said
Related: 85% Of Women Are Annoyed By Most Facebook Friends
http://www.allfacebook.com/85-…ds-2011-03
Emily said
"if I want to talk about weddings on Facebook, I do. I follow MY thoughts on updating- I don't say negative things about my friends, I don't update every little thing… and I'm good with it." I agree with jordannalie there. Here is the thing -people are eventually going to realize you got married and they weren't there. Sure updating every detail is annoying, but are you trying to hide the whole event? If so why be on facebook at all? Maybe you aren't actually friends with your facebook friends at all, and then what is the point? The thing is I have a lot of friends from high school getting married and I am not invited to all of those weddings, but I am very happy for them and I like seeing the pictures. Anyways when I used to talk about "Mad men" and cooking all the time there were people who didn't care about that either. I also think weddings are interesting as a sociological, humorous, historical subject. I posted a funny wedding related link (http://www.goingbridal.com/etc/wedding_crap.shtml) on a friend of mine's wall who is getting married and she acted like I was raised in a barn saying she can't invite everyone. People are pissed about me putting a funny link on her wall? Really? Would they care that much? We cannot mention the word "wedding"? It is an important thing in society and in my experience a lot of older married /recently married people are entertained by it too… I think people must expect budget constraints/know how close they are to you/not actually care.
I do agree overdoing it is annoying, and same when I log on and it is all infant pictures. But come on do I need to pretend I am not getting married? Then just deactivate it, what is the point at all?
JBee said
I've DEFINITELY made it a point to not bring up any of my wedding stuff on facebook. But then there's my mom, doing her own "OMG, Bethany's getting married a month from today!" countdown status posts, and I had a friend guest who asked me a "what should I wear?" type question on my wall instead of private messaging me. I didn't want to delete it, and make a big deal out of it, but I'd rather not talk about my wedding on facebook at all. I don't want to offend people who aren't invited.
I also have made a point to not post status messages about what I'm planning, or to constantly be like "OMG! Wedding is just [blah] days away!!", because I realize that, while it may be a really big day for me, most people don't care as much. It's so nice to have OBT as my outlet for that stuff, especially when I'm really freaking out over something. That way, my guests don't have to know that I was panicking over some really minute detail, they can just think I pulled the wedding together no problem!
Gayle Rambeau said
I actually had two lists – one for wedding guests, which I pruned as RSVPs rolled in, and one for the people who wanted wedding planning full-frontal (much, MUCH smaller). The guests got a reminder about times and location and such, while I saved the agony and squee for the small subset who cared.
Anne said
Seems kind of like lying by omission to be participating in FB and not mention your wedding. If you were talking to a friend you weren't going to invite and they asked you what was new in your life, would just decline to mention you'd been planning a wedding for the last five months? Also, are you going to post your wedding pics on FB? I think I'd be a little annoyed to discover someone I thought was a friend had been hiding this big news from me for months.
miranda said
The thing is, a lot of people (myself included), have folks on our facebook who don't even really fall into the "friend" category. Acquaintances, business contacts, coworkers, etc. And sometimes these people don't see the relationship in the same way we do. Someone who you really only view as an acquaintance or coworker might consider you one of their friends, for example. I've experienced this some, and I think it could make the whole "not-invited" thing quite sticky. Also, if I'm really that great of friends with them, I'd probably talk with them IRL about it. I would be willing to take the risk of offending someone on fb by keeping mum, I think, for the sake of not dealing w/ people inviting themselves. But I guess I'm not completely sure.
Good point, either way!
Alli said
I have filters for people who aren't actually friends. I can't even imagine having to constantly self censor every thought to be appropriate for professional acquaintances as well as friends!
Eva said
"Seems kind of like lying by omission"
That is assuming that everyone has a right to your life at all times on Fb. People don't have the right to know everything going on in my life in the real world so it's pretty obvious they don't have that right on the net either. It's up to you and it's certainly not lying by omission if you don't want everyone to have full insight in everything you do.
Lola said
Exactly. Not all Facebook friends are true friends.
If I saw some of these people in person I would probably mention it. But I keep all personal information off Facebook because even with the privacy settings, FB changes their settings quite often, leaving windows of opportunities for uninvited people to see your stuff. And with all the personalized ads etc. I don't trust FB not to sell that information to some company. Once that info is out there, you can never get it back.
My posts quite often are about something delicious I ate, nice weather, and that I am very happy–no details. For those who need to know, I send them a separate e-mail, off Facebook entirely.
Allison S. said
Thank you for this article!
totally agree with keeping the wedding stuff on the DL or not mentioning much at all. I have an acquaintance I know also getting married and the constant profile updates (countdowns etc) are annoying.
I try to type to Tribe or keep it PC especially in regards to others' feelings. A few friends were due to get married but it fell through so I try to be sensitive of that.
Stacey (frogskilly) said
I used the list feature a lot, and got really positive responses from everyone who could see it because they were almost as excited about it all as I was… and felt priveleged to be involved with whatever I chose to put on there… For instance, getting people to save jars for me (for our centrepieces though they didn't know that).
As both of our sets of parents are divorced and remarried and come from big families, we had over 40 aunts and uncles, not all of which we could invite however much we wanted to, let alone my first cousins who I am actually quite close to.
For this reason, we also did a fb invite to the ceremony (we didn't care how many people rocked up to that) which explained not everyone would be invited to the reception. Yes, some would say that's rude, and poor etiquette, but at least it was out there from the get-go and people weren't only finding out that not all of the family were invited by not receiving invites…
We still had a couple awkward moments, but after telling all the fb community that not everyone would be invited, it was slightly less awkward than it would have been otherwise…
Kayla said
I'm wondering whether this is a culture thing — I put a LOT of stuff wedding related on FB and I didn't have any awkward moments of people assuming invites (ah, apart from husbands father, but that's not FB related, and a different matter altogether). The people I'm close with, knew they were coming, and the other ones (like girls I went to high school with) were congratulatory and all "can't wait to see photos!". It was pretty cool.
I think it also helps not adding people that you don't actually like … my friends list is only in the region of maybe 110.
Stacey (frogskilly) said
Amen! I also had people who weren't invited to the wedding telling me off for not inundating them with wedding planning statuses because they were so excited for me!
Jesscar said
Same. I put an average amount of wedding updates on my fb page and a lot of girls from school,work etc would comment with their own experiences/advice and congrats, but none of them ever assumed they were invited…
Though I've heard its more normal in America to invite lots of ppl you're not close to like business contacts, your parents friends etc? That's not really the norm in Aus so maybe it is a cultural thing…
Kayla said
Oh and also, it seems to be the year of the wedding with the group of girls I went to high school with (and babies), with 5 off the top of my head and at least 2 babies, so I didn't feel all "look at me!!".
Emmy said
This was a great piece, but I want to touch on the part about the ads that show up. I've always been upset by weight loss ads that feature unhealthy-looking women, and I'm even more offended by the ones that have been bombarding me on Facebook since I announced my engagement. As such, I've started labeling them as "offensive." I encourage you all to join me.
Ali_Pali said
@Emmy, I've been with you on labeling the weight-loss ads as "offensive" for many many months! Amen!
Nelle said
Good idea! I've just been ignoring those, along with all the big diamond ring ads… but those weight loss ones should definitely be marked OFFENSIVE!
Ali_Pali said
I've shared maybe one wedding or marriage related article on FB, with the note, "and that's all I'm going to say here, probably, because we can't afford to invite everyone that we'd like to!"
Occasionally people have asked questions on my Wall, I've almost always responded by private message. I did delete one Wall post, as it was a response to a PM that I didn't want up! It was partly my bad–I had added an acquaintance-friend as a friend, and asked in the message about his DJ rates…and then he replied on my wall. So I let him know by PM that responding publicly to a private message is a faux pas, and I thought he was geek enough to know that, and that some brides wouldn't hire him based on that, because what other gaffes might he make?
But yeah, definitely keeping it to a minimum~!
I don't really think it's lying by omission. Maybe if your friends list is teeny tiny, but I'm having a smallish wedding, and don't want to chance having crashers.
GroomKong said
When my wife and I were planning our wedding, we definitely kept things understated. We did, however, post our wedding website on our accounts (not in our statuses, just in a place that people who were interested could find). This worked out really well because our website explained in more detail that our ceremony was a really private affair, but still gave our friends a personal way to wish us congratulations.
I agree about the issue with ranting about plans on your Facebook page. No one wants to have a window into your personal Wedding Hell… we all want to be happily deluded into thinking the whole process has been perfect.
Ainslee said
I'm getting married in a week. I have posted nothing about it – nothing – no staus change, no mention of the word 'bridal', 'wedding', 'enagaged'. To be honest, part of me wanted to post things when I need motivation or a 'good for you! How exciting!'…but for some reason it just gives me a bit of anxiety. It's such a personal things I don't want to put it out there for random people's comments.
Likewise…I don't want wedding photos splashed across facey! Hoping we can put a little sign up or something like that…one of my friends had photos put up on facey by family memebers in between the cermony and reception. She was furious.
Lola said
I feel the same way. I don't trust Facebook's "privacy" settings.
We're making a separate wed site for info and photos that will ask people not to discuss or share photos on Facebook.
We're also making some signage at the wedding on various parts of our relationship, which partly includes FB, and we will be asking again.
Though I have a circle of Internet friends and when we get together they like to take a lot of pictures. I ask them every time, PLEASE don't put pictures of me on FB, but then they do and then say, "I hope that's ok." So I hope that they will listen.
mighty_stiky said
Am I the only one who never thought to discuss my wedding on FB right off the bat? I guess I've just gotten so used to finding other topics for status updates that I looked at the first piece of advice, said "Duh?" and just kind glazed over at the rest. *shrug*
Jen said
I don't think I posted anything about getting married while we were engaged. We were keeping it small and a few people had invited themselves, which was incredibly awkward when we told them they were not actually invited.
Facebook is a beast best left alone sometimes.