Paula & Nicholas's elegant, gothic, country club wedding

January 21 |

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The offbeat bride: Paula, Teacher

Her offbeat partner: Nicholas, Computer Guy

Location & date of wedding: Country Club, Grasonville Md — 7/17/2010

What made our wedding offbeat: I wanted balls to the wall gothic with black everything and a whole hurse troupe. However, after MUCH arguing and compromising, we came to the "elegant gothic country club" agreement. We got so many compliments on it.

We met on a geek website and we made sure to make geeky vows (we didn't want to leave out the geekery that bound us!).

OBB38659_511670128242_144100634_30439052_3092039_nWe had red and black as the colors with masks as favors.

A hippie friend of ours played his buckets in true street performer fashion during cocktail hour!

We did sacrifice a lot. For example, the "axe cleaved into a blood dripping" cake changed to a "fairy cake with dripping chocolate ganache" concept.

One thing we would NOT settle for was the groom's hair. It had to be blue, OR ELSE! His hair is always blue and it wasn't changing for this wedding! The groomsmen wore hats that read "True Blue" to go along with their snazzy chuck taylors. (I, the bride, had white ones to match.)

Our wedding just went to prove that you can be a bit different (not the crazy we had originally anticipated) and still stay in the "old people comfort zone!"

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IMG_3422Tell us about the ceremony: We didn't want any religious tones in the wedding. We wanted to say cute things to each other and basically showcase to everyone (and each other) how great we were for one another.

The arch was made from twisted willow branches.

We played Nine Inch Nails and The Beatles during the ceremony to incorporate our favorite bands.

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34552_1520085202616_1249134774_31408545_2357380_nOur biggest challenge: As mentioned above, the wedding went from a gloriously creepy Halloween wedding with candy and costumes at Webster Hall (where Edgar Allan Poe was buried) to a wedding that was at a country club with many conservative family members I had never even met before. I did want to make a good impression, but I didn't want to give up what makes us special. We are weird all the other 364 days of the year, why would this day be any different?

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My favorite moment:

  • Pronouncing our geekdom in our vows.
  • Dancing to our songs that I gave the DJ as milestones in our relationship, from Ace of Base to the Deftones! 38344_598577164781_38008724_34549453_8175684_n
  • The fact that my meek/introverted husband lit up the wedding like a T-rex that shit out a fireball!
  • The xbox and cotton candy I got the guys for their VIP lounge. I wanted to give them a little bit of a safe haven!
  • Nine Inch Nails is his favorite band and The Beatles are mine. I walked up the aisle to "A Warm Place" by Nine Inch Nails and we skipped merrily down the aisle together to "Come Together" by The Beatles.

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34552_1520085162615_1249134774_31408544_7830282_nMy funniest moment: Ten minutes before the wedding, the bridesmaids and I were in the dressing room cursing like sailors. (That is how we get the aggression out!) The photographer said something like, "I've seen a lot of weddings, and never in my life have I ever heard girls angrily cursing right before they are about to make their appearance!"

Was there anything you were sure was going to be a total disaster that unexpectedly turned out great? Everyone enjoyed it! We thought everyone would scoff!

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My advice for offbeat brides: If you ever feel pressured by family and fiends to have an "upstanding, normal, traditional wedding," but you're just a closet dork/freak/nerd/weirdo, FEAR NOT! There's always a middle to meet in and you can still impress. It just takes a lot of time and debate

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!



  1. I genuinely feel for you. I'm having a medieval/renaissance-ish themed, which sounds tame, except my fiance and I rennies (aka hippies). Family pressure pushed us to have a much more conservative wedding (for example, I wanted to get married in a field in the middle of nowhere, with a giant bonfire and people dancing around like a bunch of crazy Pagans; instead we're getting married in a castle, go figure).

    It still looked like a great wedding, and if you really wanted to, you can celebrate your first anniversary however you want! Invite only friends and family who are more open minded, and have fun!

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  2. Congratulations!
    I love all the little details and the cake looks like so much fun!
    You've given me 'country club hope'! I've been dreading country clubs, and can see that they can 'work'.

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  3. how fun……love that you had Nine Inch Nails and the Beatles…two of my faves as well!!!!!

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  4. I appreciate that you tried and were able to find middle ground. It sounds like you stuck to the things that were important to you. It speaks very well of you both!

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  5. How cute that you met on a geek website! A question to all: Are there any geek/offbeat dating sites?

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  6. I love it! Everything looks fantastic and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you walked the isle to NiN (my fave too!)! Congrats on an amazing, beautiful, fun wedding!

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  7. "The fact that my meek/introverted husband lit up the wedding like a T-rex that shit out a fireball!"

    …Need anything else be said?

    Madam, I salute you.

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  8. LOVE the cake! We had a very similar look :-)

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  9. You, madam, are made of win. My man and I are NIN superfans, and we agree that "A Warm Place" is a stellar choice for a wedding song. Rock on, and on, and on.

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  10. I giggled "Family and 'Fiends' " (Sorry there are a couple of typos on the write up. I know there was a way to edit but I can't remember now. ) Simply Gerogeous super duper grats!

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  11. The cake looks amazing! I know it was a compromise, but it really looks gorgeous with a big helping of goth spirit. Any details on where you got those cake toppers?

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  12. I adore your cake have you got any more pics of your cake I'd love to use it for ideas for my own wedding cake

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  13. HEARSE troupe added a definite charm to the wedding!!!

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