Rebecca & Tom: The Rothschick High Summer Circus

Her offbeat partner: Tom, Sociology Professor

Location & date of the wedding: Medici in Normal, IL — July 31, 2010

What made our wedding offbeat: The Rothschick High Summer Circus was truly the offbeat extravaganza of the summer here in Normal, IL. The tattooed bride wore black and rainbows. Glitter and hula hoops were prominently featured that day. The cake was a big top, and the officiant was responsible for both the ceremony and the false eyelashes.

We dubbed our day the "High Summer Circus" because we wanted to focus on the joy, strength and daring involved in building a family and a life together. More than a wedding, it was a celebration of our love in the context of our large, quirky, not-quite-blood-tied family.

Tell us about your ceremony: Our ceremony was primarily comprised of loved ones sharing quotes, blessings and poems. We did exchange vows, but already had rings. Instead of rings we gave the crowd what they had been waiting for and FINALLY tied the knot.

One of my favorite quotes was from Tom Robbins' Still Life With Woodpecker, read by my sister: "Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free."

Our biggest challenge: Tom and I have been partnered for eight years and planned to live the rest of our days happily unmarried. However, we finally decided to get legally married primarily for financial reasons.

We had qualms about accessing the benefits of an institution that excludes many loving, committed couples based on their sex. Coming to terms with our decision to marry, while others are denied that right, was our biggest challenge. Having a gay Iowan for an officiant helped!

Like mother, like daughter

My favorite moment: Because I have a complicated relationship with my parents (in fact, no contact to speak of), Tom and I firmly believe in the importance of the "families we choose." My favorite moment was entering a room filled with our family of choice, including our co-parents (Rebecca's ex-husband Tim, and wife in-law, Kim), "The Aunties," (the collective of non-blood-tied and blood related women who share our joys and sorrows) all the many friends and relatives that love and support us.

My funniest moment: Our friend did an amazing interpretation of Sam Shepard's First Moment, from Savage Love. He was completely in the moment - funny, touching and just perfect.

Have you been married before and if so, what did you do differently? Yes. Both Tom and I were married before, in very traditional ceremonies.

This wedding was different in every way - loosely structured ceremony, colorful clothes, hula hoops, tats and very little drama. When we began planning we didn't think we would be getting legally married, so bending to convention was the furthest thing from our minds. The Circus was exactly the wedding we wanted!

My advice for offbeat brides: It takes both great control, and a great willingness to relinquish control, in order to perform amazing feats - let go and soar!

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?

• Photographer: Amy Endicott
• Cake: Sugar Art Cakes and Catering

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!