Becca & Adam's turquoise and red, Rock 'n Roll wedding!

July 12 |

Sit dip baby!

The offbeat bride: Becca, Software Developer/(Imaginary) Rock Star (and OBT Member)

Her offbeat partner: Adam, Office Manager/Trivia Master

Location & date of wedding: Grace Episcopal Church, Oak Park, IL — May 1, 2010

What made our wedding offbeat: I wore a turquoise, tea-length dress and had four pairs of shoes! My sister designed and made TWO dresses for me, her dress, hand bags, and ties. Vows

The wedding accidentally ended up mostly DIY. I made/designed the centerpieces, all the jewelry, fascinators, Adam's memorial pin, our pug's turquoise tuxedo and ring pillow, built an RSVP site, and set up a DIY photo booth. My cousin/usher made vases. My cousin/bridesmaid designed our save-the-dates and invites. We printed the programs, escort cards, place mats and signage for the reception ourselves. We tried to only buy things we'd want to display, re-use, or sell.

WalkingWe used an iPod for the reception and the ceremony. We played punk music for cocktails/dinner and oldies/rockabilly/80s for dancing. We swing danced to "I'm a Pretender" by The Exploding Hearts which seemed like the perfect punk/rockabilly "us" mix. My dad and I danced to The Pretender's cover of "Forever Young." My dad loves Bob Dylan and I love punk so, again, it just seemed perfect.

We live in NYC but got married in Chicago because we wanted it to convenient and affordable for everyone. Since we were getting married in Chicago (where I grew up), I decided that I wanted to eat food from the places I *have* to go when I come into town: Carson's Ribs for the rehearsal dinner; Chicago-style stuffed pizza at the wedding; pie from Baker's Square and cupcakes. Oak Park beotches!

Tell us about the ceremony: We had a secular ceremony in a church. I should explain. My uncle was an Episcopal priest and I always assumed he would officiate my wedding. He passed away and every time I thought about the ceremony it made me sad. My family has gone to Grace for twenty years. The current priest let us write our ceremony and have our dog as the ring bearer!

It turns out writing a ceremony is hard! Finally, I sat down and said "Why are we having a wedding? What does this mean to us?" We came up with three things: The wedding was about a)friends and family: the ones there and between us b)love of all kinds c) making a public declaration of our private commitment. The ceremony flowed from there.

We included quotes/readings from: Nietzche, Sarah Vowell, 'Shall we Dance', Louis de Bernieres , Rainer Maria Rilke, the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruling legalizing gay marriage, and 'Serenity' (we're obsessed with Joss Whedon). We had the readers stand up in their seats which I think had a really communal feel which underscored the circle of people sitting around us.

Maverick, the pug, ring bearer
The ring bearer in his dashing tuxedo

We each wrote our own vows which both started with each of us choosing the other to be our partner in crime. I lost my voice the day of the wedding so I had to whisper my vows into the priest's microphone – hilarious!!

You can read the whole ceremony here.

My favorite moment: In the ceremony: I'm obsessed with Rilke and he talks in his letters about the concept of marriage being about "two solitudes." I did not want to do the traditional rings-as-endless-circle-like-love thing because neither of us believe that. Instead, we wrote that we were exchanging rings to mark ourselves as married for everyone to see. We each exchanged two rings – one silver (white gold) and one gold to represent us walking into the future together. When exchanging the rings, we told each other that they were a constant reminder that "Love consists in this: two solitudes protect and border and greet each other." (Rilke) I purchased the rings, which were a modification of the seller's design, off Etsy. They were made of recycled gold and mine had (synthetic) moissanite (from outer space!) for the stones. Swing Dance!!

Becca: Looking out at everyone during the ceremony and occasionally catching someone's eye. Everyone seemed so happy to be there – it felt really good.

Adam: The first dance. As a lifelong member of the oofish, awkward, uncoordinated club, I was very proud of my ability to perform the first dance without looking completely terrible and/or dropping Becca on her head. After four months of lessons, I felt I deserved the applause I got at the end!

My funniest moment: Becca: We went to take pictures at the house I had grown up in. My mom had gone over the day before to ask the new owners (my parents had moved to NC the year before) if it was OK. When we got there, they were waiting outside for us which was really neat. (I also got to see my old next door neighbors!). The photographer had us kiss for a photo and the little boy screamed "They're gonna kiss!" It was pretty hilarious. My hair piece

Adam: Becca was going to walk down the aisle to "Chapel Of Love". As the song starts, my elderly mother comes down the aisle instead. I just envisioned people I knew who didn't know Becca being very confused and thinking "huh? Is this some kind of Harold and Maude thing?"

My advice for offbeat brides: Everyone says you need to decide what aspects of the wedding are important to you, but I think you need to decided WHY you're having a wedding. Knowing why you're having a wedding and what it means to you will help you navigate some of the tough decisions that come with wedding planning. DIY Photobooth!

Lastly …. IT'S WORTH IT!! Literally, the night before the wedding I asked Adam if he thought it all the time, money, and headache leading up to the was going to be worth it. It was!

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?
We seriously had the most awesomest vendors!!

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!

  1. Love your dog's costume and the color scheme is just an absolute stand-out. Thanks for sharing, I love the humor you put into things, great wedding. :)

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    • me too!! i thought i was trying to grow it out for a short, cute bob, now i don't know.

      striking hair all around. beautiful.

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      • I always try to grow it out and then it annoys me so I cut it. :)

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  2. What's really scary is that I had to, like, SEARCH Offbeat Bride this weekend for this wedding, and I was so bummed at how few pics we got.

    Thank you Ariel (and Coco for technically posting this)!

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  3. I'm so in love with the colors in this wedding – the blue, the red, the leopard print. All the little details are so wonderful, especially the heart rings and pins with their names. The photography is fantastic.

    Basically, this wedding was a lot of fun to look at, which is awesome.

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    • Also, the bride? Ridiculously gorgeous.

      I want to hug her and take her to a concert and drink whiskey with her and paint toenails. Because she seems like that kind of lady.

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  4. Your ceremony was INCREDIBLY beautiful. It made me tear up a bit. I also love love LOVE your inclusion of the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruling legalizing gay marriage. It's PERFECT.

    Your wedding and wedding style from start to finish was also incredible. It looks like you both, and all of your guests, had an amazingly memorial day!!

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    • Thanks! It was hard to write but I think it turned out really well!

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      • Truly, the vows were amazingly beautiful. My FH and I love Joss Whedon as well.

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      • Would you be willing to make me a similar ring that you wore? Only I'd like mine to say Jason???

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  5. Dresses + Shoes + Serenity = all sorts of awesomeness!

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  6. Everything is just stunning, I mean really, your pictures are total eye candy, the puppy tux is freakin adorable, you two are gorgeous…really, I could just rave for hours! Congratulations!!!

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  7. The ceremony is so well-written and special! Thanks for sharing something so intimate and inspiring.

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  8. Um…love those teal shoes you wore during your dance!!! My colors include teal…any chance you can pass along the info on how I can score a pair?!?!

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  9. Gorgeous. The colors… just awesome. Sounds like a lovely day. Loving the turquoise dress with the red underskirt/crinoline thingy too!

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  10. OP represent!!! Oh my goodness, I loved every single part of it, and the fact that it was literally down the street from us, yay!

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  11. Ok this was truly gorgeous!!!!! it was so funny cause I brought up the song "Chapel of Love" before I started the wedding porn slide show and it was very very eerie how perfectly the pictures went with the song I LOVE IT!!

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  12. Where did you get the orange shoes with your faces on them!! Those are awesome!! :)

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  13. There is something about red and turquoise that is so dynamic and wonderful! I'm in love with this whole look! :)

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  14. So super cute, I love the colors of this wedding! Great originality and awesome photos!

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  15. Look at your shoes!!! LOOK AT THEM!!! MUST HAAAAAAAAAAVE!! You two are gorgeous!

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  16. I just read your entire ceremony script… thank you so much for sharing this very personal document. It inspired me to craft a distinctive outline for what I hope to experience and share with family and friends in my own ceremony (I've been struggling with how to create a ceremony that was meaningful without overly relying on religious texts). Thank you for sparking my imagination.

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  17. but I think you need to decided WHY you're having a wedding. Knowing why you're having a wedding and what it means to you will help you navigate some of the tough decisions that come with wedding planning.

    This. This. This! Excellent advice.

    Also, gorgeous wedding. Your dresses were stunning and I really hope your sister's website is up and running by the time I need to order a dress. :-)

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  18. OMG! When I saw the photo of your actual wedding rings I went, "Holy crap, those are Single B's!" I fell in love with her stuff on Etsy at random. I wanted an engagement ring from her but I ended up with something slightly more traditional (which I still absolutely love). It just made me so happy to see her work on OBB.

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    • Yep! She was wonderful to work with and we got lots of compliments on our rings! Highly recommended!

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  19. hey… i'm getting married in sept and my colours are also red & teal! i can't find a hair flower/accessory that's teal… they're all white/silver. WHERE did you get yours???

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