Why you should consider boudoir photos. Or, how I learned to stop worrying and love my body
Relationship Advice
Guestpost by
on June 29, 2010
32
OBT member Ms. N wrote a wedding planning update in which she shared her experiences during her boudior photography shoot. Ariel and I loved its message so much that we thought we'd share it with you. -Megan
Let me preface this with two things…
- First, I have never been the type to want to be immortalized in my unmentionables (i.e., I never thought I would want to get photographed in my undies before). It wasn't something that I had been dying to do all my life.
- Second, I am a plus-size girl who is not altogether comfortable with her body and who consistently has some self-love issues.
That being said, let me tell you why you (yes, YOU) should consider boudoir photography…
The sexy Ms. N rockin' the boudoir shoot, shared with her permission
This past Saturday I had a boudoir shoot with Seattle Boudoir Photography [a previous obb sponsor] and it was honestly the most liberating experience of my life. I was nervous and apprehensive going into it. I've never been completely comfortable with my body, and even less so now that I am in my 30s and have stretch marks and scars and even some lovely VEINS that mark who I am and where I've been throughout the past 32 years. I kept having the thought in my head that these people who would see me half-naked would be completely grossed out and would be disappointed that they could not make me look decent in any photos.
Boy, was I wrong.
I got to spend 2 hours with amazing people who, very honestly and sincerely, thought that I looked beautiful, and did everything they could to make sure that I knew it. And not only KNEW it, but FELT it, too. Nobody ever once looked at me and said, "Oh, I sure wish you were thinner," or "Wow, those stretch marks really take away from this photo." What I heard instead was, "Oh, you have killer boobs!" and "You look so hot in that pose, for real!" I could NOT believe my ears. And really, that was all it took for me to suddenly realize this:
I'm freakin' HOT!
It doesn't matter about size or scars or weight or anything. What matters is how you FEEL. And I have never been more amazed at how comfortable I could be with myself.
So. If you can swing it, you should totally consider boudoir photography because:
- You get to be comfortable in your own body, even if you were already.
- Lots of people complimenting you and telling you how hot you look!
- Did I mention the wonders it does for your self-esteem?
- It's an excuse to buy really cute lingerie.
- Again — what better way to encourage self-love?
About Ms. N
Ms. N teaches high school special ed who lives with her fiance, two cats, a bunch of freshwater shrimp and some loaches, and have a yard full of really cool birds. And their wedding plans will most likely involve eloping to Los Vegas, a blue dress, a couple kickass parties and as little money and unnecessary expense as possible!
lacandona said
Love this! Thanks for posting it!
Vanessa Ruff said
i think pin up pics are soo fun, i took some for my then boyfriend and now fiancée, and the best part was when he was so thrilled that i though to give him some so personal and intiment at the same time, i agree get boudoir/pin up pics taken.
Sarah Ekateryna Barnes said
You make some fantastic points here. Nevertheless, my problem with some boudoir photography is that half of it ends up looking like porn (which just isn't my thing) HOWEVER, the photo posted up here is probably the nicest and classiest boudoir shot I've ever seen!
Ann D said
If I'm not mistaken, this particular business specializes in old school pin-up style boudoir photos. But I can vouch for other similar businesses.
Becca said
With boudoir, as with wedding or other professional photography, it's really a matter of finding a photographer whose style fits your sensibility. I've seen a lot (to my mind) of "trashier" styled shoots but I've also seen a ton of gorgeous pin up, vintage 70s playboy-inspired, and light-infused, delicately-styled, respectful, boudoir. A lot of women never get more unclothed than a negligee or bikini-equivalent undergarments. It really just depends on you and your photographer.
misty said
of all the strange things to make a girl tear up. i do believe ill give it a shot!
Jessica said
Me toooooo! I'm at work. AWKWARD.
Becca said
Thank you for this. I got a lot of anti-boudoir flack on the indie wedding web when I mentioned I was looking for boudoir "outfits" that felt right to prepare for my shoot. And you know what? Eff that. It was one of the most incredible experiences in my entire life. It gave me confidence I never expected by allowing me really embrace my extra pounds and bone structure and big thighs because they were all respected and treated as beautiful by my photographer. I finally saw myself as beautiful for who I AM, and not who I wanted to be 10 pounds from now. In the course of my mental preparation, I looked through a lot of photos, and my favorite set were of a plus size woman who rocked it. She was genuinely the sexiest woman I found in ANY of the boudoir photos I saw, and it's because she OWNED herself and her body. Like you mentioned, I was able to take that and go into my shoot finally knowing that sexy is all about how you FEEL. And the photos I got back reflected that sexiness in a wonderfully shocking way.
It was a really healing experience and I am a now huge advocate of boudoir photography for all women who have struggled with body image issues. It doesn't have to be associated with your wedding at all, and I don't think it's about your partner in the least. It really was, in its purest form, all about self-celebration and love.
Ann D said
By the way, if that is your photo, you do have truly awesome boobs.
Sarah Ekateryna Barnes said
I really want to thank you for sharing your story with us. It showed me a side of boudoir photography I'd never seen before, and I love me some new experiences!
Leah Ashley said
Really awesome post. I love that boudoir photography is a way for the not-stick-thin girls to be truly sexy and appreciated for being beautiful!
Megan said
Thank you. :] As a plus sized girl I was envious of all the nice boudoir photosets online. Now I realize that I can do it too.
becky said
what a great article! i've always wanted to do this… and with things going in the marriage direction these days, I really want to get these done for my boyfriend.
Never 1005 comfy in my own skin and i'm just past 30 myself… i'm almost convinced now
Safa said
I loved this post. It reminds me a lot of nude modeling for artists, plus lingerie.
Marissa said
As a plus sized girl and always wanting to do it… as I saw my mom's from when she was younger (granted of course she is a stick)… this just made my day! and it's beautiful too!! Thanks for being an inspiration and reminds everyone to accept yourself.
Lauren said
This may be a strange question but what precisely is the point behind these photo shoots? I understand the benefits of positive body image but what do you do with the photos after they are taken?
Betsy said
For many, it's a wedding, engagement, or just for the heck of it present for one's significant other, either to provide visual stimulation or just to say "lookit here! Lookit what you get! Meeee, unencumbered by doubt, body images issues, and, y'know, clothes! Just for you!" For others, it's just a gift of self-love and confidence to themselves.
knitswift said
Great post. Thanks for sharing, Ms. N!
Tina said
I'm always taking self-photos in the boudoir style for my boyfriend, and he just can't get enough of them. I would LOVE to be able to have at least one FANTASTIC shot of myself, and then have it so he can hang it in our bedroom, or at least have it for his own keeping. My problem is, I don't know where to get my shots printed!
Taking these style of photos really does give you a boost of confidence.
Oh, and to the author, even without the boudoir article, you had me at eloping and spending as little as possible. Love the whole idea!!
Bonnie said
I would just like to add that pinup or "classy" boudoir photos are not necessarily inherently better than simpler or trashier ones.
I love the pinup deal, but if the main point would be a present for my FH, his reaction to victory rolls would probably be "…"
If I do them, they won't be outright porn but I don't see myself worrying about my pictures meant for my and my FH's eyes being "classy". They will end up looking however I want them to and think my FH would like them to look. Probably involving water and outdoor nudity. Or something.
My point is, along with many things talked about on OBB, if it's something you want to do, go for it. Stop worrying about whether other people will think it's tacky or classy.
That said, I love this post and the accompanying photo. It's great! Love the mirror thing, and of course the model.
B said
I second this post! Although I am not a plus size girl, I am not free from some body issues. I have posed for figure drawing in the past and had a boudoir shoot done, and both left me with a very positive self-image. It's one thing to have a stock image of yourself and your body's "problems" in your head, but it's quite another to see how you really look via photograph or drawing. It's a really enlightening and fun experience and I highly recommend it. Finding a photographer who fit my aesthetic took some shopping around, but I found a fantastic husband and wife team in Atlanta.
Meghan said
I had a lot of the same issues as being plus size… especially when the rest of the girls there were defiantely not the same size as me. But I sucked it up and went for it. And I would do it again in a heart beat.
Nelle said
I also recommend that if you aren't comfortable with a stranger taking these kinds of photos, you can always surprise your partner by transforming your bedroom for a night, putting on something sexy, and letting him/her play photographer! A few yards of fabric and some candles work wonders! And you can always borrow the camera if you don't have a great one!
Giuliana said
I love this! We are doing a pin up photo shoot for my Hens next week and i can't wait!!!
Emilanger said
love it love it love it!! I have read a lot of indie blogs that show contempt for b-pics, and I am over girls at Project Wedding constantly posting their "lookat how skinny I am!" photos (when, um, aren't these photos supposed to be for your husband, anyway?), but I really want to do these for my future husband. He has several photos of me in short dresses from random events, and sometimes I really have a hard time seeing what he finds so attractive in my fat thighs, but only recently I have come to terms with the fact that regardless of the things I don't like about myself, he really loves the whole thing. In a way, I sort of see these photos as a celebration of what your partner loves about you.
Thanks!
Holly said
Thank you for this post! That sounds like an amazing experience! Now I'm wondering if I can find someone in the Milwaukee area that is as awesome with compliments & empowerment as your photographer was!
Tami said
I love this! Thank you for sharing! What a wonderful gift this will be…I'm excited for my own session!
al oof said
i am totally PRO boudoir photography, for all the reasons you say. what i've found baffling recently though, as i plan a wedding, is what it has to do with weddings! i mean, i guess it's a trend or something to do a boudoir shoot around your wedding? but i've always associated them more with married women, probably just because that was the context i'd heard about it in the past (like on roseanne!).
i think boudoir photography makes more sense than engagement shoots. but i'm pro porn* too.
*i actually think boudoir photos are porn, but i realize some people make a distinction. basically, if it's intended to tittilate sexually, it's porn in my book. and it's not a judgement call, that's just how it is.
Sabrina said
I really like this post and the photo of you is 100% awesome. Glad you had such a great experience and came away feeling so empowered! Wonderful stuff to read
Brandy said
As an average-to-thin girl who still wants to be thinner (no eating disorders or anything) I still never have felt any disgust toward the more voluptuous ladies. My own mother is a very very big woman and I never think about this fact in any critical way, beyond the obvious health concerns. I myself am not a health nut, so i can't even preach that without feeling like a fraud.
Aside from the short rambling session there, I had to mention something. A year or so ago, one of my girl friends asked who I thought were my prettiest friends (she considered me to be one of hers) and the first 3 girls who came to mind were all girls that the world would consider "plus-size"… they just all rock the confidence thing. it makes them so so hot. Size doesn't matter if you make it a point to love yourself and not hide that you do.
Laraine said
As a photographer who has done a lot of boudoir shoots, I couldn't agree more. I learned the craft from a very classy woman and we never shot anything distasteful. We had clients from young single ladies who just wanted to do something nice for themselves to women whose loved ones were off fighting in Iraq to a couple in their late 50s who wanted some sexy photos for their anniversary. No matter how nervous people were before, we made sure they felt comfortable. Once we got going, everyone was having fun. I definitely learned that everyone is beautiful and we made sure that they knew it too and that they saw it in their images! Everyone we worked with felt more confident afterwards. It is great to see people really become comfortable with their own bodies.