Comments on: Should we mention our registry on invitations to our reception?

By: Ariel

Ariel — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 19:06:25 +0000

I don't thing anyone's getting offended by the idea of registering. Rather, just discussing whether to include the info on the invites.

By: Ariel

Ariel — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 19:05:40 +0000

OH! Totally misunderstood the original question, although I guess I sort of answered it in my last sentence. It wouldn't be my inclination to ask for gifts when you're getting weddinged.

Also, I'm going to go ahead and close comments on this one because discussion is devolving to personal stories about people who dealt with registering differently than you would.

By: Ann D

Ann D — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 16:24:43 +0000

Oh, yeah – with a wedding that size, I can totally understand. My wedding is going to have 10 guests, so… maybe I forget about these things.

Now, I live in Seattle, and have attended wedding up and down the West Coast, and I'd say that registry info is more common than not. I also don't consider it offensive; it's just not something I'd do, because I'm still trying to GET RID of stuff.

By: Olivia

Olivia — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:52:58 +0000

As the asker of this question, I should probably clarify that I didn't mean to question the etiquette of putting registry info on the physical invites (though I've been getting that a lot lately and haven't really noticed…and am fascinated by the etiquette surrounding that especially in the digital age). We were planning on tossing in a small piece of paper with our reg info.

What I was more curious about is the idea of getting gifts for getting weddinged. When we told our friends and family that we decided to elope (for a myriad of reasons), a lot of them said "But you won't get gifts that way!" And we're not all about cleaning up at Williams Sonoma, but there are a few things that we could use that we never bought as a couple. Our friends and family are still getting a party, we're still getting married, so I guess I just don't understand why one warrants a toaster and not the other. Especially with elopements becoming more common in our society/economy.

(I should also probably add/reiterate that we are marrying because we're really just nuts about one another and want to be husband and wife, not to get gifts. But we're human and there are a few things that would be *nice* to get.)

By: Mell

Mell — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:48:26 +0000

I guess I'm naive enough to trust that when a friend or family member invites me to their wedding, they actually want me there and aren't just inviting me for the present.

Most people expect to give a gift when invited to a wedding, why get offended if the couple makes it easy for you to give them something useful?

By: Leighann

Leighann — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:45:03 +0000

You know what's funny? It's such a great idea and we actually tried that with my sister, and people just REFUSED to accept it! They insisted that we throw her a shower, and then I gave like four charity options and ways to donated, and NO ONE did it. Maybe it's just my insane family that's stubborn.

By: channamasala

channamasala — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 12:35:07 +0000

Ha ha, I meant cash bars in general. Since I am from New York and lived in DC before moving abroad, $7 a drink is pretty normal. At a wedding in the UK I paid six pounds for a vodka tonic, which is like nine bucks US. Grrrr.

But, yeah. I wouldn't do that. "Cash bar" is not in my vocabulary. But I *refuse* to judge someone else who does it. Just not worth it. If it's not a personal insult against me, it's not worth getting worked up about (as far as weddings go: I absolutely do get worked up about corruption, poverty and oppression around the world that does not affect me.)

By: Hannah

Hannah — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 12:21:50 +0000

I would also say this is normal in the UK. I'd expect to see this info either on a second page of the invite, or a separate card. Maybe its because I'm an awkward British person, but I much prefer this. If people don't give me any info I have to aganosie about whether to call them and ask (but is that wierd? should I call their mother/their fiance(e)'s mother/father/brother/sister?). If there was no info and I went out to buy something, I'd actually be pretty put out to later find out there was a registry that they'd chosen not to tell me about. Of course, I don't have a problem with including it on a wedsite instead/as well (or indeed not registering at all), but having a registry and only revealing its existence to people who phone up and ask just seems unecessarily awkward to me.

A slightly unrelated reflection, these major differences between countries which we would usually think of as culturally similar just serve to highlight that there really are no wedding "rules"

By: Katy

Katy — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 10:25:58 +0000

I know I said above that we're planning on just going the word of mouth route but having read all the comments I'm also liking the idea of something on a seperate bit of paper.

We're already planning on doing a sort of information pack with directions to the venue, places to stay in the area, some extra info on times and some helpful hints (like you will be walking on grass a lot, stilleto heels are a bad plan) so maybe we could put something in there. Actually it could be doubly helpful because then it's a safe bet that whoever calls to ask what to get us hasn't read the other stuff either!

By: Katy

Katy — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 10:20:27 +0000

Totally off topic but $7 drinks would bother me. That's about double what I normally expect to pay for a drink!