Rebekah & Shayne's Hospital Wedding

Real Weddings: Northeast US By on April 27, 2010 54

The offbeat bride: Rebekah, Designer/Wannabe Entomologist

Her offbeat partner: Shayne, Computer Programmer (AI)

Location & date of wedding: Beth Israel Hospital, Manhattan, NY — November 24, 2009

What made our wedding offbeat: To start with, we were married in Beth Israel Hospital in Manhattan.

Shayne and I knew as soon as we started dating that we would be together for a long time to come. About six months prior, we packed up everything we owned into a van and moved to Brooklyn. I was going to Parsons to get my MFA and Shayne was taking a leap of faith to become a full-time musician. A few months later, Shayne was diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma and we decided not to wait any longer. We got married in the hospital a week after we got the diagnosis.

We thought we wouldn't have enough time to get wedding rings, so we decided on matching Converse - gray with pink shoelaces instead. We considered finding a tuxedo and dress last minute, but shirts and jeans are more our style. Then at the last minute, I went to a little jewelry store across the street and got simple silver rings.

We decided to not take one another's last names, but instead we intertwined the first two letters of my last name (Meek) and the last two of his (O'Neill) to come up with Miel. It also happens to mean honey in French and Spanish which is fitting considering we got matching honeybee tattoos seven months ago.

Oh, and instead of saying, "you may kiss the bride," our officiator said, "you may high five the bride" - then we kissed.

Our biggest challenge: Shayne's inability to leave the hospital was our biggest obstacle. I did everything, from getting the marriage license to getting the rings, on my own or with a few people's help. Shayne weighed in on which shade of pink shoelaces and what kind of rings via cell phone in between procedures and talking to doctors.

The hospital, my family, friends, and co-workers were all amazing in helping put together the wedding in less than a week. The hospital let us get married in their "Urban Zen" room, my co-workers sent flowers for my bouquet, and since I was staying at the hospital, my mom and sister took care of everything at our apartment.

Shayne and I had to focus on his health most of that week, so we had to rely on our community to support us.

My favorite moment: After the ceremony, most folks had left for the night and Shayne and I were talking in the hallway outside of his hospital room. One of the coordinators of the "Urban Zen" program asked if he could read us the "Apache Wedding Blessing," because it had been read to him and his wife at their wedding. Even though he was a complete stranger, it was that first moment we realized that we were married. We were now a team, which meant we could get through anything.

I was expecting to bawl through the ceremony, but that was the first time we cried, but (as cheesy as it sounds) they were tears of joy.

rebekahShane11242009_0237

My advice for offbeat brides: Remember why you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner and try to capture that in your ceremony. We were lucky that our decision to get married and the actual ceremony were so close, so we didn't have time to perseverate over center pieces or invitations.

We're looking forward to celebrating again when Shayne gets better - one that celebrates our community and all of the support they've shown us. However, we were glad to have an intimate ceremony for just the two of us, which included: a couple of t-shirts, the loved one who were nearby, and a pair of silly, in-love grins.

We had originally struggled with the idea of getting legally married - we wanted to wait until it was legal for everyone. Once Shayne got sick, it logistically made sense for us to get married so that I could legally have the right to access his medical records, stay with him at the hospital, and make sure was had continuous insurance. We are grateful that since we have to wait a year or more to have the wedding celebration, that by then the legal side will be so far away, it will feel like two completely different events.

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!


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Comments (54)
  • On April 27th, 2010 at 5:23 AM
    cupcake said

    This has me crying on the sofa. Beautiful.

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  +2 readers agree with this comment
  • On April 27th, 2010 at 5:46 AM
    Yanallama said

    Your wedding was beautiful as are both of you. You guys brought tears to my eyes this morning. I wish you the best of luck.

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  +1 readers agree with this comment
  • This is what it's all about. At the end of the day, a wedding is only the start of a marriage and whilst the details of a wedding are fun and important, what's really important is supporting and loving one another through whatever gets thrown at you.

    What a nice story. Best of luck to both of you in the future

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  +1 readers agree with this comment
  • What a touching wedding, puts it all back into perspective. Congratulations and all the best for the future and a speedy recovery

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • This is so sweet!

    FYI- My friend's common in law spouse kicked that same cancer; your honey can too!

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  +2 readers agree with this comment
  • What a beautiful story. All the best for Shayne's recovery and congratulations to you both!

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • Yes yes yes!!!! THIS is what it's all about! Congratulations and MANY happy years for you both!

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • Ditto on the perspective comment — this wedding is great reminder of what the whole "marriage" thing is all about. Congratulations, and I hope that you are both in good health.

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • What a lovely story…I'm all teary eyed and was really touched by your wedding tale. Thank you for sharing. Congratulations and best of luck to you and your husband!

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • Hey Y'all – Thanks for all of the responses and good wishes! Shayne's still working on kicking this cancer!

    We're still looking forward to having a "real" wedding / hooray for health celebration sometime in the next couple of years.

    http://thismachinekillscancer.tumblr.com/

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  +1 readers agree with this comment
  • On April 27th, 2010 at 7:43 AM
    Heather said

    What a beautiful story! THIS is TRUE love. Congratulations & all the best to you both :)

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • Thanks for the congrats and all of the good wishes! Shayne has been through about 6 months of treatment and is looking at another year, but he's a fighter, so his going to kick this thing. More importantly, we're so grateful to have each other through this struggle.

    If you're interested, you can read more about what's been going on with Shayne on our blog.

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • Absolutely beautiful. Congratultions!

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • On April 27th, 2010 at 8:32 AM
    mcc1134 said

    This is the sweetest wedding I've ever heard of. Yes, I too have tears in my eyes. I really hope your husband is well again soon. And congratulations!

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • so amazing and beautiful…

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • I love your name change! It has so much meaning and the two of you sharing something new, as a family. Very beautiful wedding and marriage all around.

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • oh this is too special. especially love the story about the name change. how perfect.

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • On April 27th, 2010 at 9:34 AM
    Jennifer said

    Sincerely beautiful. What a testament to true love. I love your name change and your matching tattoos. You are wonderful. I will keep positive thoughts going your way always and I wish for a speedy recovery for Shayne!

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • The smiles on your faces are so amazingly happy and genuine that they're contagious! Thanks for sharing your beautiful wedding and making me grin this morning. Best of luck for a speedy recovery!

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • i think this is my favorite OBB wedding yet! my fiance was diagnosed with cancer not long after we were engaged, and we considered doing the same thing. your pictures brought tears to my eyes because your wedding was so pure – what it's all supposed to be about! best of luck and health to you both!

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
    • I was just about to comment the same exact thing. They ended up scheduling surgery for my fiance too quickly for us to organize any type of, what we'd been calling, 1st wedding. We've been really lucky and the docs are just recommending vigilant scanning rather than any other treatments now so we're going ahead with our original wedding date. But, dag, has this whole cancer thing been a huge reminder of why we decided to get married, of what we want our marriage to mean.

      Best of luck fighting the cancer, Rebekah & Shayne, and I hope you have a very long and very, very happy marriage!

      VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

        THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • Wow. Simply inspiring and beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • This brought tears to my eyes, at work no doubt! I've worked a long time in the medical profession, largely due to my own disorder/illness. I am thankful, happy, and delighted that you guys got a chance to do it up even with the diagnosis. You guys are in my prayers, and Shayne, fight hard! You're not alone. :)

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • So beautiful!! Made me cry!

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • This is so touching! All the best to them both and I'm hoping that he'll get better soon. X

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment
  • On April 27th, 2010 at 10:47 AM
    bluefrog said

    Your pictures are so beautiful – I don't think I'd have known it was in a hospital if it wasn't explicitly mentioned. The lighting is so great! And the bride's outfit is totally awesome, I <3 it.

    The best of luck to you both!

    VA:F [1.9.13_1145]

      THIS!  0 readers agree with this comment

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