Our wedding rings.
I follow a few popular wedding-related Twitter accounts — I chalk it up to a market research kind of thing. Most of the time I just ignore the tweets as 98% of them are pure WIC fluff. "Flowers worthy of escorting you down the aisle." "Have you ever thought of wearing a red wedding dress!?" "The time between your engagement and your wedding is an ideal time to begin a regular beauty and fitness regimen." "Make sure to buy more things! You need more things! Things that are shiny!" And then this tweet caught my eye:
"Do U Care if UR Husband (or Future Husband) Doesn't wear a Wedding Ring?"
I read it and immediately wanted to tweet back — Why the hell would I care!? Why the hell would anyone care!? What business is it of yours!? And so on. But I thought, naw, totally not worth my time. And then it got worse as I read this response:
Even better question. RT @blueskyshine: @BrideTide More important question: WHY wouldn't he want to?
Ooooh, my blood was boiling after reading that ignorant twat tweet. To question someones love and basic morality based on the fact that they don't want to wear a piece a of jewelry just seemed beyond insulting to me.
So I just had to respond in the piddly 140 characters at my disposal:
@BrideTide Why not? Bc he has a job where wearing jewelry is dangerous. Bc he hates wearing jewelry. Bc he doesn't need 1 to show he's committed [cont.] Mine doesn't wear a wedding ring and I couldn't care less. He gave it a go at first and he just never got used to it. S'okay by me
And it is okay by me! I'll be honest that at first I was bummed… I think wedding rings on a dude (especially your own dude) are sexy! Every time I saw that flash of metal on his finger I gave me a thrill — it's all sexy "grown up" of him.
But when I stepped back and looked at the reality of the situation I saw that, honestly, that ring spent more time spinning on the table in front of him, or alternately, rolling off the table and onto the floor, than on his finger. And I just saw how uncomfortable it made him. He really HATES wearing jewelry, and he complained that the air conditioning in the recording studio where he works made the ring so cold that his finger ached.
Now, I could've bitched and nagged and guilted my husband into just accepting his be-ringed fate, but I had realize that, even though that ring gave me a thrill, it's not at all worth his discomfort for one minute.
And what's the point of it really? 'It's symbol to show that he's devoted and faithful to me,' is what I came up with. But isn't it okay that the symbol just be that he freaking MARRIED ME!? I mean, what more do I need? This man stood in front of family, friends, and a few complete strangers, and exchanged vows with me — do I need more than THAT? And the answer was, obviously, no. There doesn't need to be a physical symbol when his vows alone and my trust in him are enough to show me (and everyone else?) that he is devoted and faithful to me.
So, no, he doesn't wear a ring, and I'm okay with it. But I'll keep wearing mine because I think it's purrrrty.
And for you LOTR nerds out there, you might get a kick out of the version of this post that my husband created late last night while I was sleeping, unawares… No, he doesn't wear "the precious."
About Megan Finley
Megan Finley is the Managing Editor for Offbeat Bride and the Associate Publisher for the Offbeat Empire. When she's not slaving away for the Empire, she's sharing her dork side on her own blog and on Twitter @meganfinley.
Naomi said
My fiance isn't going to have a ring, well neither of us are exchanging rings. We opted for wedding tattoos instead. For awhile we had matching promise rings before we got engaged, it didn't last long since he is cursed to lose every ring in his possession. He has a ring right now which has lasted a surprisingly long time for him, but the expense of wedding rings wasn't worth it to us when he is prone to losing them.
Offbeat Megan said
You know, he offered to get a ring tattooed on that finger, needles give me the heebie jeebies so i told him it was not necessary. But, man, I think that's SO romantic!
Katy said
Weirdly my first reaction was thinking that a tattoo is too permenant, which I find kind of sad since marriage is supposed to be forever as well. Of course that's not always the case, but at least going into it I think that should be the plan.
(Kind of ironic that some of the people against getting a tatoo were some of the same people nagging me to get married. A drawing is too permenant and what if I regret it, but I should hurry up and comit to spending my whole life with another person?)
Anyway, I think the idea of wedding tattoos is great, and even better because you'd have to do something really impressive to loose it!
al oof said
we are getting tattoos, we haven't decided about jewelry. i gave him a pin when i asked him, and neither of us ever wear rings. he won't wear the pin except on special occasions also, because he is terrified of losing it. i keep telling him i'll make him another (i made it for him in a silversmithing class), but he still doesn't want to lose it. the crazy thing is he says if i made another one, he would wear that one (like some people wear fake versions of diamonds they actually own), but he doesn't want to lose the original.
but anyway, we've planned the tattoo long before deciding to get married(we've been together 10 years). and anytime people get buddy tattoos there is that 'what if it doesn't work out' question (maybe less if you're married) but i've always thought of it more as a tattoo for us and our time together, and not a promise we're making. if we broke up in a few years, the tattoo would still have meaning, because we've already had a life together.
Vanessa said
My Fiance wanted to get a wedding ring tattoo but then he talked to his tattoo artist and he told him they always rub off after a little while and they don't look good anymore. I am not sure if this is true for everyone but I just wanted to comment this so you can check that for yourself and not be disappointed if it did rub off. Congrats! : )
XP said
I just came out with an idea, after reading this I was thinking of an alternative for a tatoo and two things came to my mind, one of them is having similar scars… I would definitively have them done by a doctor and ask how to get "the nicest scar".
At first my husband agreed (we have a friend that is a plastic surgeon and we trust him) but when I reminded him about his promise, he said "we already have similar scars" I don't know what he meant, we don't share any scars in common… yet!
Let me know what you think.
Lore said
One factor I've never seen brought up in a wedding ring discussion is that, for a variety of medical reasons, not everyone has a ring finger (or any fingers) at the end of his or her left hand.
Offbeat Megan said
You know, while researching if, in fact, this "no ring" is really a big deal, I DID come across a story about a girl whose fiance is missing his left ring finger. So apparently, he's just going to wear the ring on the right hand instead.
beej said
I have seen a couple like this – the wife was missing her "ring finger" so they both wore their rings on the right hand. I thought it was very sweet. Personally I would want my spouse to wear his ring unless his job prevented it. I love the whole idea of it.
Lore said
Aw, that does sound sweet. I think the ring issue, like so many others, is all about what works for the individual.
Ellery said
My father-in-law to be has worked for Otis elevator forever, and he's worked his way up from being a stock boy or whatever to being upper management. Back in the day, though, when he was doing serious factory things, he got his ring caught in something and since it wouldn't slide off, the ring got caught on his knuckle and pulled half of his finger out of his hand. They can't reattach if the joint is pulled apart, only if it's severed, so he opted to have the rest of the finger removed and he now wears his mangled gold 'ring' on his keychain as a reminder, I guess. Which works for them, since my mother in law to be is allergic to metal and doesn't wear one either
Cathy Weeks said
A friend of my parents had this happen – he's a farmer, and caught his ring on the top corner of his truck door as he was jumping out. He lost his entire ring finger. He got his ring back, but never wore it again, on any finger. He and his wife are still married, and have been for more than 40 years.
Katy said
My guy might not even get one to not wear! The idea of wearing a ring for the rest of his life seems to be the one thing he's least excited about, even after the idea of an Alchemy Gothic ring came up. (And if you've not seen them those things are amazing.)
He's still considering it but if he can't find one he likes we'll probably just skip the idea. I know he's mine anyway.
Coco said
My Dad always wears his wedding ring but my mom doesn't always. I don't think that makes her any less married or committed. Rings just aren't for everyone!
xanthina said
I love my ring, but I am clumsy and bang it against things. So I try and remember to wear it at times, but it's off my finger about as much as it's on.
Jess said
I don't think it's a big deal if he doesn't wear a ring…if that's what works for both of you. I'm not sure how I would feel about it to be honest…since we haven't gotten married yet. But we did go order our wedding bands this weekend and watching him try on rings and seeing him with that piece of metal on "that" finger did give me a little flip in my stomach…but if he was adamant against it I'm sure I'd feel the same as you.
Ang said
I think that part of the reason that so many brides are manic about their husbands wearing their rings, is that it's a tangible symbol of their loyalty. What's the first thing (In movies TV etc) that a man does when he's about to practice infidelity, or at least wants to try it out for awhile? He takes his ring off. The ring is a symbol that they're linked to you. So you're brainwashed to think that if your husband doesn't want to wear his ring that he wants to be unfaithful. And that's why so many brides cling to it. The mental connection between "If he wears his ring he loves me and we'll be together forever. If he doesn't he's cheating on me/ashamed of me."
My husband is a mechanic, so the ring is dangerous for him to wear at work. As much as I love the fact that he wears it, my emotional attachment to it isn't nearly as strong as his. He's forgotten it a few times at work and was a complete wreck. Now I have to ask him why it's so important to him, LOL.
Offbeat Megan said
Excellent point Ang. My brother-in-law can't wear a ring because he is in a similar line of work and it is really dangerous. So not worth risking injury!
Ann said
What's so funny about the idea of a ring as tangible proof of fidelity is that we consider it a tether specifically because of images that you mentioned – philandering men in movies removing their wedding rings right before hooking up with someone who is NOT their wife. It's hilarious, though – what's further proof that a ring does nothing to prevent infidelity than the image of a manwhore removing his before cheating?
But on a broader scale, aside from concerns of fidelity, there's the idea that a man is willing to put up with some discomfort in order to broadcast the fact that he is taken. Because for so many women, there's always this nagging sense that the entire marriage is HER idea, HER deal – so that she plans everything, and in the end, she feels like she is forcing her man to go through with it. If he wears a ring without complaint, it's a sign that he's willing to make a subtle public statement that he's on-board.
A guy who doesn't want to wear one might have totally legitimate reasons for not wearing it, but if you are insecure, you can always see those reasons as more of an excuse.
I personally don't like wearing rings, so I don't really care one way or the other if I end up with a set of rings if/when I get married. But my father has always worn his hand (and had a new one made when his fingers got too arthritic for him to comfortably wear the original wedding ring), and my dad is pretty much a pillar of a stable husband and parent – so I can see where some women (and men, for that matter) would crave this kind of thing from their husbands.
ShesSo said
It's true, a ring doesn't mean commitment, his actions and brain do.
Amesly said
my fiance picked out his ring and intends to wear have it sized, but will most likely wear it on his chain(AHAHAHA Tricksy Hobbitses) with his others. I'm down with that
rxqueen said
I think its more likely he will wear a ring (with his other 3 or 4!) and I won't. I might get one and put it on a necklace.
Karen said
I appreciate the boiling blood! It makes me crazy when people make comments like this. My dad never wore a wedding ring – I didn't really realize men did until I was a teenager.
My parents celebrated their 44th anniversary last week and are the closest clouple I know. The ring is not a reflection of the feelings, although it can be a symbol for them for those who feel that way.
My FH isn't interested in jewellery unless it comes with a big hand and a little hand. He loves watches. We are going to do a ring/watch exchange. I love my ring, and enjoy wearing it – I am giving it back to him to put on my hand again since I don't want a 2nd ring. The symbolism of the ring – the never ending circle can be mimicked by the right kind of watch – that is what we are doing.
Offbeat Megan said
Yeah, I like the idea of exchanging things that will actually get used or worn or displayed or what have you. I think a wedding watch is awesome!
Oh and congrats to your parents for 44 years! that's inspiring.
Claire said
Yes a watch works just as well!
I got my fella an 'engagement watch' as I didn't see why I should get something nice to mark the occasion and he shouldn't. He's not into rings but he's going to try a wedding ring. I wouldn't be bothered if he didn't wear it though.
Katy said
This is a really good idea! As I mentioned above my guy doesn't like the idea of wearing a ring. I'm not sure he'd want a watch either but I'll defiantely suggest the idea of something other than a ring and maybe he/we will be able to find something he likes. Thanks!
Billie said
with tattooed rings he couldnt take it off as in the movies….lol
my FH wants a ring, but even if he didnt…I would try to convince him otherwise…not because i dont trust HIM, but more as a material warning to the swarms of single-man-grubbing women who live around my area "back off bitches ..hes taken"
jojo said
Me too! I got my fiancé an 'engagement watch' for the same reason. I felt like he should have something, and since he didn't wear jewelery it was perfect. Since then we have traveled a lot in muslem countries and we have both worn "wedding" bands to make things easier. I thought he would take it off once he didn't "need" to wear it anymore, but he has grown used to it and wears it every day! But he does tend to loose things too, so we are getting some inexpensive rings just in case.
Betsy said
My fiance can't wear any jewelry at work due to safety reasons so when we got engaged, I was trying to find something to give him because I, too, felt like he should have something. We talked about watches but the ones he's after are a little out of our current price range (But totally within reason for something for me to give him to wear instead of a wedding ring, once I've saved up). We shopped briefly for engagement sunglasses, but he was too afraid he'd break them or lose them. What did we finally decide on? An engagement xBox 360. You're thinking, "WHAT!?" but that's ok, it works for us. Sure one day it'll be replaced by the next cool game system, but maybe we'll upgrade (people upgrade their wedding sets all the time!) but for now it is something we can do together, we both love and a symbol of how much we love to be together, and I'll let him win. . . sometimes
-Twist- said
Ah! My man LOVES watches too, and (jokingly) asked for an engagement watch. I'm looking/ saving for one I like, but I think it's an awesome idea, and he'll be totally thrilled. And yea, why should one person in the relationship get something and the other doesn't!
Lena said
My FH's dad lost his wedding ring in the Aegian Sea on their honeymoon and hasn't worn one since.
My dad, on the other hand has not taken his off for a second since the moment they got married 22 years ago. He got 3rd degree burns on his left hand when he was in a fire, and when they were bandaging it, he slipped it loose, stuck his right and left fingertips together and slid it onto his right hand while his left hand healed.
rainy_day said
Aw, Lena, that is such a sweet story. Thank you for sharing!
Lena said
My FH is so excited about ring shopping. He wants to wear his before the wedding because "he already feels married", except that he's a pilot which means they're not allowed to wear metal jewelry, and being in the militarym he'd get shit for being "whipped". Sigh.
MEGAN! Where did you get the coral you used for your centerpieces? I want to do something similar, but can't find the coral for less than $60 each!
Offbeat Megan said
Lena! I believe all the answers you seek re: the coral centerpieces can be found here. There's a link to where i got them at Z Gallerie and how we turned them orange. Good luck!
Gayle said
My fiance wants to start wearing his band immediately, and is somewhat disappointed that I want to wait to wear mine until the ceremony in 6 months. I think I'm going to buy him an engagement ring to match his band, so he can wear that instead.
Sevillalost said
Lena – suggest that your FH slip his ring onto his dogtags. That's what I do when I go fly, and it works really well.
Jennifer said
My husband forgets his ring sometimes (he forgets a lot of things sometimes, usually his keys), which I'm used to and is totally fine. However, when he goes out at night without me, I make sure he's wearing it so all the 20-something girls don't try to hit on him. It's not that I don't trust HIM, I don't trust those girls not to get big ideas. He's adorable, sweet, charismatic, and a musician, so he's a magnet for new "friends".
Offbeat Megan said
Haha. My husband, also a musician, just did a show recently where, strangely enough, afterwards a couple of his cute 20-something girl friends were giving him shit for NOT wearing a wedding ring! It was pretty cute.
Nerdybride Erika said
Thanks for posting this, Megan. It brought tears to my eyes. I have really been struggling with this for awhile. To me the ring represents fidelity and faithfulness. My dad always wears his ring. Before I met my FH, when I saw a man wearing a ring, it meant "he's taken". I think another reason I am hung up on the wedding ring is because he never wore it during his first marriage, so I stupidly freak out for some reason.
I know it's silly. My FH does not want to wear one. He has allergies, and it will bother him and he never wears jewelry and feels weird wearing it. He also said that people may be unfaithful with or without a ring.
He said that he would give it a shot–try to wear it and see if he gets used to it. He also said he will wear it on special occassions.
You are right–he is marrying me, I am marrying him. We are professing this in front of our loved ones. That should be enough. A piece of metal on his finger doesn't change that.
Offbeat Megan said
Erica! Thanks for commenting. I'm so glad the post helped you. I thought the same things as you before I got married and watched my poor husband struggle wear something just to please this silly notion that I had. It just all started to seem so silly. The jewelry isn't what makes a good marriage.
XP said
I don't know much about my husband's first marriage, but I'm almost sure he didn't wore his back then, any way, there are plenty of new things he will experience with you and a ring won't make a big difference, believe me I've been through that and it gets all solved when I realize:
He's gone through divorce (not nice), he's been hurt, he has a life to enjoy, and he is so great he could be with any other girl, now, he knows what he is doing, he knows what can go wrong… and still he picked me!!!
giving ourselves second chances isn't so easy for humans, specially if it could hurt, he is giving himself a second opportunity with you, don't waste it thinking about the past because for sure he loves yo 10,000 times more.
I've been told "second time has to be way better, otherwise you don't do it", I believe it.
=)
Meg said
Probably too late to comment on this but I just wanted my fiance to wear the ring because I'd get frustrated when I would spend 30 mins chatting up an interesting man and then he'd mention his wife.
I just don't want him wasting those hawt single girls time.
BUT REALLY – a ring does not make a marriage. My dad is super happy and doesn't wear a ring – he says women hit on him more when he wore the ring – I told him he was hotter 20 years ago when he wore it 
Either way, if its super important to you, there are a lot of rings that are hypoallergenic. I think platinum, titanium, cobalt and tungsten to name a few….though I would check with your jeweler to be sure.
Banrcat said
My dad and his wedding ring were always trouble. He can't wear it for work, as he's an industrial electrician, so he saved it for formal events (like weddings, funerals, etc), which has caused him to lose his ring four times; my mom did replace it each time until he smashed up his knuckle bad enough that his final wedding ring sits on top of his dresser with his spare change. I don't think my mother minds though, as he buys her craploads of shiny metal and jewels.
jx : ) said
it isn't the jewelry that makes you married – it's the marriage.
many cultures don't have rings but their marriages are just as real as those that do.
I didn't wear my ring for years (and years) as I was afraid of losing the antique, family heirloom from his great-grandmother when washing after diaper changes or when at the gym – it's very tall and got scratched when I was lifting weights. it also didn't fit so well the three times I was pregnant with our wonderful boys, and now, after 25+ years, the ring doesn't fit but the marriage still does.
Teresa Whitehead said
jx, do you know of any interesting traditions for other cultures? My FH has bad luck with new rings (He's got a few he wears all the time, but any new ones quickly disappear), and I'm concerned for him as well because he works outside.
I've considered the tattoos (we're both inked already, so that's not an issue), and a friend's brother is a jeweller and wants to make our wedding jewelry if we have some.
We're very interested in other cultures and love incorporating new things that we like, but there hasn't been much investigation into wedding traditions. I'm Pagan and he's non-aligned, though connected to the spiritual realm, so there's no specific traditions to follow.
(Still trying to decide on whether we'll do a hand-binding.)
Melissa said
My FH will be wearing a ring, but on his right hand, not his left. He's an engineer who's always smashing things up and didn't want a ring that would disintegrate on him, so we finally settled on Tungsten. And while he loved the weight of it and how it looked, he's never felt comfortable with rings on his left hand. He's a bassist and it interferes with his playing, plus would scratch up his base something fierce, so the right hand it is.
I do like rings and what they represent, so I'm just happy he's wearing one at all. But if he couldn't for any reason, I'm sure we'd work around it somehow.
Kate said
My husband's ring is tungsten, too. He's a chemist and spends all day in the lab, so he wanted something that would be tough to destroy. Only downside is we couldn't get it engraved- it'd void the warranty.
He's also pretty old-fashioned when it comes to romance, and I think he'd be hurt/insulted if I told him he didn't have to wear it (or just say "Pfffft, I want to!"
.
Mich said
love your husbands version of this post!
apathycj said
I have a friend who lost his ring finger when the ring latched onto a nail head as he was jumping over a fence. Needless to say, he no longer wears a ring on any finger.
irisira said
My mother has a big hangup about men who don't wear wedding rings. I think this is, in part, because she's middle aged and single (and, therefore, uses that as a barometer), and also because it's a generational thing – i.e., no wedding ring means that the guy is LOOKING to cheat.
Seeing as she's already doesn't care for my FH and is constantly looking for excuses to put him down, I asked him to please, please get a ring and wear it when we knew we would be seeing her. She'd never say anything to him, but I would never hear the end of it.
FWIW, I know plenty of men who wear their wedding rings faithfully and are the slimiest cheaters around.
Kaloof said
My grandpa is a farmer and he although he has a wedding ring, he never wears it. Its way too dangerous and for him to put in on and then off all the time… he couldn't be bothered. My grandma told me that he wore it for their honey moon and then as soon as they got to their new home together [which was his family's farm, given to him as a wedding gift] he took it off and has never worn it again. My grandma only wears her when they go into town… she spends her day cooking, cleaning and knitting.
They are the two most in love people I have ever seen!
I wear an engagement ring and like Offbeat Megan's hubby, I spend more time playing with it then it does actually just sitting on my finger. FH really wants to have a ring [and he especially wants me to have one so that everyone knows I'm taken...]. I've been tossing around the idea of tattoo rings… we both have tattoos so it would be awesome!
Marie said
You just have to be careful about the tattoos. I discussed the idea with my artist and he said that depending on your profession and hobbies it might not work. I am a hairstylist and apparently having my hands in water and chemicals all the time means it will wear out. My fiance is going to wear a wedding ring because he's indifferent to jewelry (doesn't like it…doesn't hate it) and the band was my grandfather's so he knows it means a lot to me.
TZizzle said
I took the tweet in a different way. It really is a question of why. Legitimate reason or because he doesn't want to appear tied down? Yes, I would have an issue with that but probably wouldn't be marrying that guy. I'm also confused why you bash the tweeter but you cared a little too right? You got butterflies and were excited for him to wear it. Honestly I would care if my FH didn't want to wear a ring BUT not to the point of forcing it on him and especially not if it interfered with his job. I do think it is a sign of outward committment which is not to say FH would cheat without it on. It's also part of our vows but again, I would be sad but would understand.
Offbeat Megan said
TZizzle, I did care when he stopped wearing it because I thought it was neat, but not for suspicious reasons as the RT suggests, hence my reaction.
Bonnie said
There are so many stupid, stupid people on wedding related sites (I love this one, obviously).
I would like for C to wear his ring since I picked it out for him and all that but by all means, if it were uncomfortable or dangerous I would be the first person to tell him to take it off.
Rai said
My Dad didn't wear a wedding ring until 20 years into their marriage when he was able to. He was an electrician and couldnt wear it at work and so left it at home where it was stolen withing a month of their marriage. He wears it now but only because he is a jewelry whore. lol.
Katie said
My future husband won't be wearing a ring… he just does not do jewellery. And I have zero problems with this. I kinda feel like rings are for everyone else to see like "stay back, I'm taken"… He doesn't need to wear a ring for me (or anyone who knows us) to know about the huge way in which he is committed to our life together. I do have an engagement ring but won't be getting a wedding one. We are (like many others) opting for tats (yuss!) and hey, you can lose a ring down a sink/toilet/compost bin but a tattoo ain't going anywhere that easily!
Mishi said
My husband doesn't wear his ring often, if he remembers he'll put it on when we're going out somewhere special. It bothered me when we first got married, but it's not like it's a magic ring that would prevent adultery. He would wear it day-to-day because he loves it (He picked out a fancy engraved one) but being a mechanic, it's too dangerous. If he was injured at work because of the ring, worker's compensation wouldn't cover it. I'd rather have a forgetful husband than a finger/hand-less one!
Samantha said
I think symbols are really important. Would you have such a strong reaction to someone wearing a cross which means "I am Christian" or a yarmulke? I think most people who read OBB dress in a way to tell people something about themselves (I'm goth, I'm counter-culture, etc.) and wearing a wedding ring serves the same purpose.
It says, "I am married, I'm part of a pair." I understand OF COURSE that NOT wearing rings doesn't mean you aren't a pair.
But it IS really important to me that my husband wear a ring, and I wear mine. Because I want people to know that he and I are part of a bonded pair, it tells people something about how we feel about each other without us ever having to say it.
I know OBB hates the idea that anyone has to do anything just because they are married but I think a symbol, between the two of you (even if it's a watch or a tattoo or a name change) is both beautiful and important.
So yeah, I think "would you care if he didn't wear a ring" is a valid question for discussion and that if my husband didn't want to wear his, I'd want an explanation. Not a concession, necessarily, but an explanation at least.
Offbeat Megan said
Dude, symbols are great! I love the exchange of rings, watches, buttons, you name it, OBBs have exchanged it and worn it and I think that's awesome. And "would you care if he didn't wear a ring" is a totally valid question because there are many different schools of thought on this and I've enjoyed reading all the comments and stories.
However, what isn't valid is to suggest there is something sinister going on if he doesn't wear a symbol, there-in lies my problem. This post was about the LACK of symbols and how people react to it. Would I react if a Christian *wasn't* wearing a cross? And would I believe that it made them any less Christian? Not at all. My point was that wearing or not wearing a symbol should be a personal choice and respected as such.
dirtybird said
The thing is, that first tweet *didn't* suggest anything sinister going on if someone doesn't wear a wedding ring. It was a *question* – a valid question for discussion, as Samantha said.
al oof said
the way we ask things often implies judgements. in this case the implication was that not wearing a wedding ring deviates from a norm in some way that might bother you, without acknowledging that rings are not ubiquitous. that blog would doubtfully ask "does it bother you that your eso wears their ring?" because the implications of that question would be considered themselves absurd.