Tanith & Darius's laid back, Motor City recession special wedding
The Offbeat Bride: Tanith, Aspiring Romance Novelist (and OBT member "TanithRice")
Her offbeat partner: Darius, Youth Case Manager
Location & date of wedding: The Crofoot Ballroom, Pontiac, MI — Aug. 14, 2009
What made our wedding offbeat: I never dreamed of being "princess for the day," and good thing too, because our budget simply wouldn't allow it. I knew right away that I wanted an intimate affair with only our closest friends and family and since me and my hubby were the only ones paying for our wedding we did everything OUR way. ![]()
We opted for a garden ceremony with our own personal vows. And even though my hubby had four men standing with him (and rightfully so) I chose only to have my dearest friend; forfeiting well proportioned pics — no human decorations here! I donned my yellow (bridesmaid) dress (the exact same color as the wedding party), jumped the broom, and grooved back up the aile to the sounds of Mos Def and Talib Kweli's Beautiful.
My reception was held in the three-level Vernor's room of the Crofoot Ballroom. It suited me and the hubby perfectly as it had a jazzy/art gallery/poetry cafe' feel to it. We never chose a first dance and spontaneously danced to his little brother's A cappella dedication to us. The top floor had pool tables and we provided decks of cards for the tables as well. It was a very laid back affair.
Our biggest challenge: Our biggest challenge was the DJ not having our music. We are both HUGE music fanatics so, to us, this was terrible. Basically we just had to suck it up. Luckily we had made CD'S as our favors and some of the songs we wanted played were on it, so we popped one open and kept it moving.
Honestly, we were so happy that we were actually married that nothing could ruin our day. In retrospect I still can't believe that I wasn't pissed, lol. Maybe it's because I planned for a marriage and not a wedding/reception.
What were the most meaningful moments of your wedding?: The most meaningful moment of my wedding was when my husband was reading his vows — at one point he said that he no longer wanted to read what he had written and began to freestyle it because he was so caught up in the moment.
Also jumping the broom was very special to me as a way to honor my ancestors. It was a fun little add on at the end.
It was also important to me to be outside surrounded by the beauty of nature, to me that added to the spiritual experience. It was lovely to feel the breeze and the warmth of the sun, to hear the birds chirping and to look out and to see all our loved ones supporting our journey.
My advice for other offbeat brides: My advice to all the brides is to go with what makes you happy. Even if you are on a tight budget you don't have to sacrifice style. Because I didn't want to pay tons of money for a dress that I was only gonna wear once I bought a bridesmaid dress which made a big difference! Instead of designer jewels I went to my everyday favorite (Forever 21) and got what I think was the perfect jewelry to compliment my style. Also, don't get easily discouraged. When one door closes another opens and nine times out of ten it has better stuff behind it.
If it's something that you just can't compromise (for me it would be the music) you might want to shell out the cash for it. My DJ got burglarized the day before our wedding and because of that we didn't have many of our songs, NOT COOL.
Other than that it's really nothing I would change.
People kept asking me why I wasn't stressed and it's because I kept in perspective what the day was actually about. I knew no matter what went wrong I would marry the love of my life so that alone would make my day perfect!
Another thing that made us feel good was that we donated all the left over food to the local shelter. It felt good to know that we were providing a good meal to others without any exchange.
Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!:
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Jill said
um, can you say SEXY couple?!
Masha said
I really love this. The advice that you are planning a marriage, not a wedding, is so reassuring.
jel said
Gorgeous, gorgeous. Beautiful dress and jewelry. Each picture, as it came up, became my new favorite.
Christina said
yay for Metro Detroit brides!
Love the dress….and colors…and flowers… and everything.
Sarah Elizabeth said
It all looks/sounds fantastic. You look so beautiful, and your hubby so handsome. Congratulations!
Lisa said
"When one door closes another opens and nine times out of ten it has better stuff behind it." Wise woman! And a gorgeous weddign!
Mim said
Lovely! That dress is more flattering than any bridal gown would have ever been. You positively glowed! The wedding party looked wonderful. Much happiness to you and your groom
Cyndi said
love this couple! they look sooo happy!
ella said
beautiful!
Katy said
The dress looks fantastic! I love that idea. Congratulations!
oriah said
Oh this is so lovely!!!….the buttery yellow looks fab on you!!! You have such a charming sense of style and a laid back attitude.
And, i'm delighted to see an african-american couple. I know OBB prides itself on being the place people with "different" ideas about weddings can get support and i just can't help but to note how few minority couples/brides are actually on the site and members of OBT (is there a website that serves minority wedding interests/aesthetics better?). The more diversity we see/experience, the richer all our lives become.
Thank you for sharing your wedding.
Nikki said
As an african-american, I find that websites that serve minority wedding interest/aesthetics are boringly mainstream. This is one of the few wedding websites that are interesting and fun!
Also, I'm certain that it is not intentional that there are few couples of color on this website – couples of color that are offbeat just haven't gotten over here yet! it can be really difficult to be a double minority in this society (black/goth, asian/steampunk, etc.). I think that as more people hear about it, that more people of color with check it out and get into it. I know of a few black couples who LOVE the stuff on here – they're just not at the point of getting married yet!
oriah said
I agree with what you've said here.
Once again, your wedding was beautiful. I can tell by your response, you're a beautiful & thoughtful person.
OffbeatAriel said
Oriah, we're delighted too.
I share your frustration with the lack of ethnic diversity on OBB — it's something I've written about numerous times: http://offbeatbride.com/2008/10/offbeat-bride-div…
We have a tag dedicated to offbeat couples of color (http://offbeatbride.com/tag/offbeat-couples-of-co… and we're always on the lookout for nontraditional weddings featuring non-white couples. Much of the content we feature on OBB is submitted by readers — and we make a very pointed effort to prioritize any and all non-white/non-het content we receive. In fact, it's something we take so seriously that we've been accused of "tokenism." *sigh* Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Anyway, this is all to say I agree with you whole heartedly, and just know that it's something we think about a lot.
D
oriah said
I wasn't dinging OBB….hope i didn't come off as being critical. It's so hard to get tone via text.
amb said
I loved that you walked out of the ceremony to Beautiful, I love that song
Gorgeous couple, gorgeous wedding!
Katie said
I love your dress. Can't believe its a bridesmaid's dress! Just devine
Sarah Ekateryna Barnes said
Wow, that is one gorgeous looking wedding party, and one smokin' couple! You may have not wanted to be a princess, but I think you definitely out-glammed red carpet stars.
Carren said
Congratulations! You give some of the best advice I have ever heard! And I love that you had an "uneven" wedding party. The dress you chose is gorgeous too! Love it all!
Dani said
The color combo you chose is AMAZING. The warmth in your words totally shines through in the pictures, too! Congrats.
Anelise said
What a beautiful couple!! I love how down to earth and reasonable this couple was in planning their wedding.
Meaghan said
The bride is a sexy mama! Love the yellow dress too
hinakuu said
You two look wonderful together and that yellow dress really complements your beautiful skin tone and adds such a lively light feeling to your pictures.
Congratulations!
Wendy_Smith_(III) said
Congratulations! I love how relaxed you seem. Your wedding was absolutely gorgeous.
Kristen in Oregon said
love it! I'm on my way out the door to raid the clearance aisle at a party supply store…thanks for the reminder that we are planning for a marriage, not a wedding/reception. Love ya!
Tanith said
Thank you guys for all the nice compliments, you made my day!!
Mrs. Otis said
Both of you guys are beautiful inside and out, and what more than a beautiful wedding to match your spirit. I wish you all the best and many years of prosperity. Love yall!!!!
Mae said
I love a michigan wedding! Everything looked awesome, and I love your dress!
Nicole said
I am totally in agreement about the planning a marriage not a wedding/reception comment! I will have to snag that for people who ask me about my wedding!