The Offbeat Bride: Tanith, Aspiring Romance Novelist (and OBT member "TanithRice")
Her offbeat partner: Darius, Youth Case Manager
Location & date of wedding: The Crofoot Ballroom, Pontiac, MI — Aug. 14, 2009
What made our wedding offbeat: I never dreamed of being "princess for the day," and good thing too, because our budget simply wouldn't allow it. I knew right away that I wanted an intimate affair with only our closest friends and family and since me and my hubby were the only ones paying for our wedding we did everything OUR way.
We opted for a garden ceremony with our own personal vows. And even though my hubby had four men standing with him (and rightfully so) I chose only to have my dearest friend; forfeiting well proportioned pics — no human decorations here! I donned my yellow (bridesmaid) dress (the exact same color as the wedding party), jumped the broom, and grooved back up the aile to the sounds of Mos Def and Talib Kweli's Beautiful.
My reception was held in the three-level Vernor's room of the Crofoot Ballroom. It suited me and the hubby perfectly as it had a jazzy/art gallery/poetry cafe' feel to it. We never chose a first dance and spontaneously danced to his little brother's A cappella dedication to us. The top floor had pool tables and we provided decks of cards for the tables as well. It was a very laid back affair.
Our biggest challenge: Our biggest challenge was the DJ not having our music. We are both HUGE music fanatics so, to us, this was terrible. Basically we just had to suck it up. Luckily we had made CD'S as our favors and some of the songs we wanted played were on it, so we popped one open and kept it moving.
Honestly, we were so happy that we were actually married that nothing could ruin our day. In retrospect I still can't believe that I wasn't pissed, lol. Maybe it's because I planned for a marriage and not a wedding/reception.
What were the most meaningful moments of your wedding?: The most meaningful moment of my wedding was when my husband was reading his vows — at one point he said that he no longer wanted to read what he had written and began to freestyle it because he was so caught up in the moment.
Also jumping the broom was very special to me as a way to honor my ancestors. It was a fun little add on at the end.
It was also important to me to be outside surrounded by the beauty of nature, to me that added to the spiritual experience. It was lovely to feel the breeze and the warmth of the sun, to hear the birds chirping and to look out and to see all our loved ones supporting our journey.
My advice for other offbeat brides: My advice to all the brides is to go with what makes you happy. Even if you are on a tight budget you don't have to sacrifice style. Because I didn't want to pay tons of money for a dress that I was only gonna wear once I bought a bridesmaid dress which made a big difference! Instead of designer jewels I went to my everyday favorite (Forever 21) and got what I think was the perfect jewelry to compliment my style. Also, don't get easily discouraged. When one door closes another opens and nine times out of ten it has better stuff behind it.
If it's something that you just can't compromise (for me it would be the music) you might want to shell out the cash for it. My DJ got burglarized the day before our wedding and because of that we didn't have many of our songs, NOT COOL. Other than that it's really nothing I would change.
People kept asking me why I wasn't stressed and it's because I kept in perspective what the day was actually about. I knew no matter what went wrong I would marry the love of my life so that alone would make my day perfect!
Another thing that made us feel good was that we donated all the left over food to the local shelter. It felt good to know that we were providing a good meal to others without any exchange.
Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!: