Pinkee & Pony's Dia De Los Muertos, cemetery bash

The Offbeat Bride: Pinkee, video marketing

Her Offbeat Partner: Pony, manager of adult store

Location & date of wedding: Forest Lawn Cemetery/Rec Center Studio, Los Angeles, CA — 11/01/09

What made our wedding offbeat: Firstly, we planned the whole thing ourselves. We utilized our amazing group of talented friends for photography, DJing skills, coordinating abilities, and helping hands to help us hang lights and set up tables the morning of. Our tribe pulled through for us and made it spectacular, and we couldn't be more grateful.

Secondly, neither of us had ever even BEEN to a wedding in our adult lives. I think this is really what gave us the freedom to play with the "tradition" element, as neither of us really knew what that meant. To us, the most important thing about our wedding was making it distinctly, unmistakably and uniquely OUR OWN. Looking back at it, I think it was a complete success.

Our ceremony was in a chapel on the grounds of a cemetery, a la Dia De Los Muertos.

We nixed the sit down dinner for a taco stand vending vegan and non-vegan street tacos. The alcohol flowed freely, and people DANCED. Everyone was dressed to the nines, looked beautiful, ate cupcakes. To round out the evening, we had Aztec dancers come in as a tribute to Pony's heritage and in honor of the Day of The Dead.

Afterwards, all we heard from our friends was how much FUN they'd had, how it had been perfect for who were are as a couple and SO unlike what they'd come to expect from weddings, with all the fun and none of the stuffiness.

Tell us about your ceremony: In the spirit of Dia De Los Muertos, inspired by the chapel on Olvera St., as guests filtered into the ceremony venue and took a program, we asked them to approach the altar where we had about fifty pillar votives set up. They then one by one lit one of the candles we had set up there in the memory of someone who had passed on.

What was your biggest challenge?: The biggest challenge was definitely wearing both the "planner hat" and the "bride hat," especially the day of! I was up on a ladder the morning of, hanging things, on the phone with vendors and setting tables up. At one point, the hour to change hats was there and I just had for FORCE myself to let go and delegate while I got my makeup done. It was definitely more stressful than say, going to the spa, but I was so proud of all we did together.

What were the most meaningful moments of your wedding?: What was really amazing about the way it turned out was that we didn't plan any of the "wedding moments," they just kind of happened organically.

For instance, the father/daughter dance, which seemed kind of hokey in theory, just happened at one point in the night and nobody planned it or forced it to happen, and it was really special.

Instead of throwing a bouquet, we decided to toast to our friends, Walter and Paul, a couple who have been together for over thirty years. From before being married was even an option. They've loved each other for more than each of our lifetimes, and when we recognized the incredible power of that relationship, nobody of the four of us could keep from crying.

My advice for other offbeat brides: Something might not go as expected. We totally had like three minutes of "dead air" at our ceremony when we waited for the "ring blessing" to end so we could continue to the next point in the ceremony. I could have gotten really upset about it, but instead just looked around and realized we were surrounded by friends, and we just laughed.

Things will go wrong, things may get tripped up, especially if you are DIYing it. When I look back it was ALL perfect, even in it's imperfections. Embrace it!!

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?:

• Photographer: Jonathan Weiner
• The corset skirt was custom made by the lovely Simone at Exquisite Restraint Corsetry
• Pony's outfit was from skingraft
• Both of our footwear was Fluevog
• The amazing wedding cake topper was custom made by an etsy artist J.T.Nee
• Pinkee's headdress was from Satanica
• The cupcake tower was also from Etsy
• Nobody saw them, but Pinkee's garter gear: Dark Ladies Gear
• And pony's vertebrae necklace: Catacombs of London

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!: