Comments on: Marriage equality issues with hetero ceremonies in Australia

By: Lyd

Lyd — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 07:41:07 +0000

I know this is quite after-the-fact, but the marriage act says this:

"46 Certain authorised celebrants to explain nature of marriage relationship
(1) Subject to subsection (2), before a marriage is solemnised by or in the presence of an authorised celebrant, not being a minister of religion of a recognised denomination, the authorised celebrant shall say to the parties, in the presence of the witnesses, the words:
"I am duly authorised by law to solemnise marriages according to law.
"Before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter.
"Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life.";
or words to that effect."

So, could the celebrant not simply say "Marriage, according to *current* law in Australia…"? They are still 'words to that effect'. Would that convey your hopes for law changes?

By: willa zheng

willa zheng — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 00:05:05 +0000

I'm a marriage celebrant and the monitum must be said before the vows are exchanged, not afterwards at the signing table.

By: Jo

Jo — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 00:18:39 +0000

We got married last year in Australia.

When I was trying to decide how to deal with this issue at our wedding, I read the comments on this post, and while I couldn't find exactly the right solution for us here, it really helped to clarify what we wanted to do, and gave some examples of words to use. I thought I'd let you know the wording we used in case it helps others.

At the end of the introduction to the ceremony, our celebrant said "X and Y would like to acknowledge that not everyone can legally get married to the person that they love. As they celebrate their love and join their families together today and this marriage is recognized, they hope for a day in the not too distant future where marriage is an option for all".

One person cheered and clapped, and not many other people said anything. But it made me feel better later in the ceremony when the monitum was read out.

Ridiculous law! Still, I believe it's only a matter of time.

By: Girl_Squishy

Girl_Squishy — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 00:52:19 +0000

We are making White Knots and will have a bowl of them at the ceremony with a sign and something in the program about them and inviting guests to wear them. Both of us and the celebrant will wear one during the ceremony and the celebrant will explain what they are and why we are wearing them before the ceremony starts.

By: Nikki C

Nikki C — Sun, 29 May 2011 16:58:41 +0000

The Whiteknot.org table is exactly what my FH and I are doing. We both believe in marriage equality and wanted to find a subtle way to include it in our wedding as his father is extremely religious and conservative. We think this will be a good way to acknowledge injustice while not offending those like his father. Those who want to participate can do so, and those who don't want to participate aren't required, but they will absolutely know where we stand on the issue.

By: shinyredthings

shinyredthings — Fri, 27 May 2011 17:58:11 +0000

Thanks for the advice! I'm Australian, and object strongly to the need for that statement. Now, to find a celebrant who will roll with that. Our other alternative is to get legally married here in the States, where that's not required, then be weddinged back home in Australia later.

By: Rita

Rita — Fri, 27 May 2011 13:03:54 +0000

These posts are awesome! Although we're getting married in Brighton, UK, and any couple can be legally recognized as being in a partnership it's a shame that "marriage" is still only opened to hetero couples. We find it still discriminating to categorize this sort of commitment in such a way. I mean, really, if you have civil partnership why can't it be a civil marriage?? Why give it different names?? We want to say something about that! I am Portuguese and thankfully, in Portugal now all couples can get married! It's such an amazing step forward! I just hope many other countries will follow…

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Fri, 27 May 2011 04:12:20 +0000

I like adding a statement clarifying your support of marriage equality. You could also ammend the statement to "Marriage, as the law currently states, is…" to be followed by your wishes for the law to change.

By: OleMole

OleMole — Thu, 26 May 2011 20:58:35 +0000

My hubby and I got civilly married well before the wedding so that our officiant can say whatever we feel comfortable with in celebrating our union. Perhaps this is an option?

By: Ange

Ange — Wed, 25 May 2011 07:05:14 +0000

We don't have to do that in NZ – maybe you guys should jump the ditch and get married here?!
Or you could make your point during a speech at dinner when you, not the celebrant, gets to hold the floor (I'm assuming you not following the "tradition" that states girls don't talk at weddings!)