Comments on: You Can't Have it All, by Kelly

By: Chelsea

Chelsea — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 17:57:57 +0000

This is like reading my own biography! Except I told my fiance that he can plan it or we're eloping. So he's Mr. Wedding Planner now. It's been real good entertainment too!

By: Kelly

Kelly — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:52:15 +0000

Are you sure we're not the same Kelly?

This is the same reason I cite for why I'll never get a tattoo. I'll like something completely different in five minutes.

So glad to hear the pep talk. At some point I'll have to make a decision, but it's also nice that so many offbeat brides combine styles so deftly.

I'll probably end up with some ridiculous combo like a Victorian Hip-Hop wedding or an Amish outer space Jetson's barn dance.

By: the future Mrs.

the future Mrs. — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:57:06 +0000

This is a great post! Thank you for sharing. I have this same dilemma, and it looks like I'm not alone. The comments on here are wonderful also. It helps to have some positive thoughts to reinforce my need to make decisions and stick with them.

By: Kristacular

Kristacular — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 22:31:56 +0000

I AM Kelly. Working on this too! But really everything I see on OBB, I want. it. ALL

By: Marina

Marina — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:00:04 +0000

My husband was a huuuuuuge help with this dilemma. Every time I was like, "Chandeliers! Salsa dancing! No, klezmer! Photobooths! Neon green and orange!" he would ask, "What's right for US? What's right for this group of people who's coming?" That last one eliminated a lot of the less feasible options–a party that'd be fabulous for 20 people, or all people who lived in town, or all people over age 21 and under age 35, probably wasn't the right party for our all-age, mostly traveling, 100 person group. And I am 100% satisfied with our decisionmaking process and what we ended up with.

By: Sandra

Sandra — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 16:46:09 +0000

oh thank you thank you thank you … i have been beating myself up lately … i know its counter productive but EVERYTHING and i mean EVERYTHING looks so amazing and cool well i just HAVE to have it. it's great to know that there are other Offbeat Brides who are just as easily swayed as me!

By: Ashley Sue

Ashley Sue — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 13:43:59 +0000

Great article! It is FABULOUS to know I'm not the only person who falls in love with ideas, colors, and themes easily, and gets swayed in romantic, fun notions, just to realize I have to pinpoint what "me" is, because like you said, I can enjoy it without claiming it, as it will continue to exist with or without my using the concept!

Thanks again!

By: Uggh

Uggh — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 20:37:59 +0000

Wow. I posted an update about this very problem a few weeks ago. I have had about 12 different (and I do mean different) ideas for the wedding and reception. Drove my FH nuts with the ping-ponging. We had to have a sit-down to figure out what we really, really wanted. So we did. And I reserved the venue we chose.

Then last weekend we went to a friend's wedding, and my FH started to look around their venue with his little eagle eye and started to muse…

Just when I thought I had a plan (really, any plan will do, I just need to narrow it down from 50!) to work with, FH is scouting more ideas.

I love the idea of using the other locations as anniversary party locales. Since most of our other ideas involved travel, I think maybe I'll use them for anniversary trips! I had so many ideas that one of us will be dead before we run out of anniversary trips. LOL.

By: Amerikanka (from OBT)

Amerikanka (from OBT) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:27:42 +0000

So many of the comments echo this, but my mantra so far has been:

"This is not the only party you will ever throw."

I then remind myself that these great-but-totally-inconsistent ideas can be used to host future celebrations of all sorts – INCLUDING, as mentioned by at least one poster above, fabulous anniversary and/or recommitment ceremonies )

By: Sully

Sully — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 04:54:43 +0000

Thanks for that! I think it takes a little longer and sometimes takes a mulligan on a decision to choose what is authentic. This has been a difficult and rewarding part of the wedding planning for me – figuring out who I am and what I like. I know many of you out there are confident in your greatness and uniquity… but some of us are just coming into it. Seeing all the great ideas on OBB has helped me be confident in doing my own thing that bucks tradition, despite the pressure from the industry and the parents. They especially weren't happy when I changed my mind about our venue/theme a couple times… but I hadn't laid down any money yet and I had to do what was "us".
Now, I am second guessing the ring I ordered for my wedding band, as it is atypical but gorgeous and I fell in love with it in the store and so did FH… but I have to love it foreverever…. and maybe I will want a cute little channel set eternity band like everyone else has…. or maybe not, and if I really do I can always save up and buy myself one, along with a giant fondant cake to celebrate any one of the great things I might do!!