Comments on: What does a bride feel like?

By: Cathy Keane

Cathy Keane — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 20:41:16 +0000

All interesting…all my adult life I've been ambivalent about the fuss of weddings, sometimes testy about friends who seemed to me to be Acting Like Brides, and comfortable with the idea of being the center of attention in a way that I could never and still can) imagine in my own case. I must say one nice side effect of getting engaged (& at almost 40) is that I feel retrospectively more understanding for all those (young!!) brides-to-be who were actually under a lot of pressure. I'm also grateful I'm so darn old, because I'm somewhat better at not being touchy these days. So maybe that's the bride (and the me) I'm trying to be on my best days. Understanding, focused on the joy of my relationship, and not threatened by the barrage of intimidating advice and tasks. I'm trying to think of this as a tribute to my fiance, greatest guy on earth, who's taking his own stuff (this is his 2nd marriage) in stride…plus it's just good for my soul.

This attitude helps when well-meaning folks give you the speech that starts with "You've got to do things just the way you want" and then lead into something that sounds more like "you've got to do X." This makes me a combination of grumpy and anxious, but I'm doing myself a favor if I tell myself it's not worth getting upset about.

Love reading this blog!

By: Erin

Erin — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 04:47:14 +0000

Hey Just Love – yeah me too!! I've planned some kick-arse parties in the past (one do even had around 2500 people!) all out there, and a bit offbeat, but now it's my turn, and I'm depressed about it. All I want is something low key, and yes, a little unconventional, but somehow, with others involved it keeps coming back to what everybody else thinks a wedding/bride should be. I've started keeping all my 'bride' ideas to myself infact, just to avoid the polite 'looks' and silences. It's a real bummer. OBB has been a real saviour, just to know there are lots of others out there doing things their own way – and the joy of it shows.

By: Ammre Ulrich

Ammre Ulrich — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 04:30:16 +0000

I'm watching it right now and trying not to yell at the screen "F YOU! Lollipop bouquets rock! stop ragging on them and giving her the stink eye about them!"

Even the commercials you see these alt brides come up near him and he touches them and they turn into cookie cutter brides in boring white dresses.

lame.

By: mstoltz

mstoltz — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 01:18:44 +0000

Oh my gosh, you are like my life sister. When I proposed to my fiance, we were both seniors in college, and with our schedules, even after graduation, it's hard to think seriously about our wedding. But I know it will come with time, and I know that my own feelings are my own. I don't have to FEEL any particular way, because this is about me and him, not some preconceived notion.

By: Helen

Helen — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 16:42:17 +0000

(oops, I have rambled and needed to go into 2 comments!)

I now also do not feel married. I feel like…. We had this great party, and an awesome holiday, and now we get back to being us, without the bizarre audience we had for a day. I wonder if I missed out on all these things – the WIC feelings sound so princessy and lovely to have. Would I have liked to have felt like bursting into “I’m so pretty”? I think I might have. But I also think it might not have been very me (which came as a surprise – weddings appear to be this huge journey of self discovery!) – and being me is something that I think I’d much rather have had than a feeling of “bride”.

By: Helen

Helen — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 16:41:18 +0000

I'm in the same place as ninja, and have been thinking a little bit about this whilst we've been away. I never felt "Bridal". I did not have the dress shopping thing (the beauty of custom made!), we made pretty much everything and didn't have much help or involvement from other people. I did get excited about stuff, but not really in a "this for our wedding would be perfect!" kind of way, but more like a "how cool would this be for our party?!" kind of way.

On the day and the run up, I was not nervous. Or excited. In fact, I never got excited. I had a little "oh my goodness I'm about to go to my wedding!" feeling and was all a bit emotional during the ceremony, but steadied myself thinking about the amount of shared debt we already have. I felt very there, and the whole day was very us and exactly what we wanted, but weddingy? Bridal? No. Not even on the day. Best party ever? Most fun and best outfit known to mankind? Hell yes.

By: ashilleong

ashilleong — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 23:12:10 +0000

this here is what I''m waiting for. The wedding is in a month, I picked up me dress yesterday and I still haven't had that moment. Could just be an amazing lak of self condfidence

By: Kath

Kath — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 12:09:59 +0000

I totally understand this and feeling it at the moment. I got engaged a couple of months ago, but have not felt like a "Bride". I am not a girlie girl and the things I an excited about is the Tipi village I'm having, buying 40 fleece blankets wholesale for wedding favours (English summer + tipi + cold!), choosing wedding wellies for me and the bridemaids!! The silly things! I am not even bothered about my dress or the flowers etc etc … I don't think I'll feel like a bride until the morning when I get up, get dressed up and realise this is the day I get to marry my wonderful Chris is here.
So if I were you don't worry about it, enjoy planning the bits you are excited about and you'll feel like a bride on the day. Until then let everyone else flap & cluck about, and just be your cool and happy self which is why some lucky guy picked you in the first place!

By: ninja

ninja — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:44:55 +0000

My wedding was last weekend and I've just returned from my honeymoon so this post is timely for me.
I remember feeling like Meghan up to and on my wedding day and I think alot of it had to do with the way people were treating me and their expectations for how a bride should feel and I was not meeting them. Asking me things like "are you nervous?" and "you must be SO busy getting things ready for the big day!" and I was like "hmm, I'm not nervous and I'm not extremely busy- is there something wrong with me?"
But, no, there was nothing wrong with me. I was simply doing my own thing- marrying my love in a simple, small, casual, offbeat wedding and that's why I wasn't nervous or stressed-out or over-the moon- giddy like the way people think "Brides" should be.

By: @disturbdsquirrl

@disturbdsquirrl — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 19:21:32 +0000

I feel the same way, being more excited about other future events of my married life too. First house, first travel, first car, first baby … it all sounds more exciting that the wedding.