Comments on: Tracy & Aaron's small, self-uniting wedding http://offbeatbride.com/2009/08/self-uniting-wedding Taffeta-Free Alternatives for Independent Brides Fri, 19 Mar 2010 13:46:05 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Tracy http://offbeatbride.com/2009/08/self-uniting-wedding/comment-page-1#comment-58286 Tracy Sun, 24 Jan 2010 23:09:35 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2878#comment-58286 Hi, Molly. I just saw this; hope I'm not getting back to you too late. Some counties don't offer the licenses, others will question you about your faith, and still others don't care. A couple in Allegheny County was questioned about their faith and denied the license; they challenged this in court and the judge granted a restraining order against the court clerk's office that basically prohibited them from denying the couple the license. The state Supreme Court hasn't actually ruled on the matter, but the legal arguments are all in your favor should you be denied the license and decide to challenge the clerk's office. However, we found it easier to just get our license from a county that will grant them no questions asked. Montgomery and Philadelphia counties are two of those. A Pennsylvania license is good for use in any county, but just to cover our bases anyway, we had ours signed in a friendly county as well. (From what I understand, Bucks County, where Peace Valley Park is, will question people about their faith.) Hi, Molly. I just saw this; hope I'm not getting back to you too late.

Some counties don't offer the licenses, others will question you about your faith, and still others don't care. A couple in Allegheny County was questioned about their faith and denied the license; they challenged this in court and the judge granted a restraining order against the court clerk's office that basically prohibited them from denying the couple the license. The state Supreme Court hasn't actually ruled on the matter, but the legal arguments are all in your favor should you be denied the license and decide to challenge the clerk's office.

However, we found it easier to just get our license from a county that will grant them no questions asked. Montgomery and Philadelphia counties are two of those. A Pennsylvania license is good for use in any county, but just to cover our bases anyway, we had ours signed in a friendly county as well. (From what I understand, Bucks County, where Peace Valley Park is, will question people about their faith.)

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]]> By: Molly http://offbeatbride.com/2009/08/self-uniting-wedding/comment-page-1#comment-57198 Molly Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:58:27 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2878#comment-57198 Hi Tracy, We're looking in to having a self-uniting marriage in Pennsylvania but are finding a lot of people not willing to say it is "valid" if we aren't Quakers. Can you advise on your experience? Thanks so much! Molly Hi Tracy,

We're looking in to having a self-uniting marriage in Pennsylvania but are finding a lot of people not willing to say it is "valid" if we aren't Quakers. Can you advise on your experience? Thanks so much!

Molly

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]]> By: Tracy http://offbeatbride.com/2009/08/self-uniting-wedding/comment-page-1#comment-56071 Tracy Sun, 20 Dec 2009 15:32:26 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2878#comment-56071 Sorry, this stuff is going screwy on me. "I'm gonna love you, you gonna love me?" "Yep." "Great." Then we sent it back in. No muss, no fuss. Sorry, this stuff is going screwy on me.
"I'm gonna love you, you gonna love me?"
"Yep."
"Great."
Then we sent it back in. No muss, no fuss.

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]]> By: Tracy http://offbeatbride.com/2009/08/self-uniting-wedding/comment-page-1#comment-56070 Tracy Sun, 20 Dec 2009 15:31:06 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2878#comment-56070 Oh, no, the vows weren't necessary. We just wanted them. Actually, we didn't have the license that day, so when we DID get it and get to use it (waiting period), we just ran to a couple of people we knew and asked them to sign it for us. I think there was something about the witnesses witnessing a promise/intention/something or other, so we just had fun with it: Oh, no, the vows weren't necessary. We just wanted them. Actually, we didn't have the license that day, so when we DID get it and get to use it (waiting period), we just ran to a couple of people we knew and asked them to sign it for us. I think there was something about the witnesses witnessing a promise/intention/something or other, so we just had fun with it:

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]]> By: OffbeatAriel http://offbeatbride.com/2009/08/self-uniting-wedding/comment-page-1#comment-54892 OffbeatAriel Sun, 22 Nov 2009 13:18:08 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2878#comment-54892 Check your state's marriage license laws, but for most states all that's legally necessary is signing and submitting the paperwork correctly. Check your state's marriage license laws, but for most states all that's legally necessary is signing and submitting the paperwork correctly.

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]]> By: Amanda Lukow http://offbeatbride.com/2009/08/self-uniting-wedding/comment-page-1#comment-54873 Amanda Lukow Sun, 22 Nov 2009 05:59:40 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2878#comment-54873 This is going to sound terrible, but were the vows necessary? I only ask because my fiance and I have been together for seven years, engaged for going on four, we have a kid and a house together - all that's missing is making it "official" in the eyes of the state. Neither of us is religious, though he comes from a large Italian religious family. We're planning on getting a self-uniting license within the next week or two. Ideally, we'd just like to have my mom and his mom sign it, send it back, and be done with it. We're planning on "renewing" (which would actually be doing them for the first time) our vows next summer and having a reception of sorts. We're not even planning on exchanging rings until then. We just can't afford to do anything else right now, and his work schedule and our family schedules just don't permit a quickie JoP wedding (both of our mothers would kill us and fight over the baby if we get married and not have them and immediate family there). So I just wanted to know about the vows, rings, and such - are they necessary? This is going to sound terrible, but were the vows necessary? I only ask because my fiance and I have been together for seven years, engaged for going on four, we have a kid and a house together – all that's missing is making it "official" in the eyes of the state. Neither of us is religious, though he comes from a large Italian religious family.

We're planning on getting a self-uniting license within the next week or two.

Ideally, we'd just like to have my mom and his mom sign it, send it back, and be done with it. We're planning on "renewing" (which would actually be doing them for the first time) our vows next summer and having a reception of sorts. We're not even planning on exchanging rings until then.

We just can't afford to do anything else right now, and his work schedule and our family schedules just don't permit a quickie JoP wedding (both of our mothers would kill us and fight over the baby if we get married and not have them and immediate family there).

So I just wanted to know about the vows, rings, and such – are they necessary?

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]]> By: britany http://offbeatbride.com/2009/08/self-uniting-wedding/comment-page-1#comment-51168 britany Wed, 02 Sep 2009 17:10:30 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2878#comment-51168 I just went and joined.. still pending approval though. Hopefully I can get in and see it! :) I just went and joined.. still pending approval though. Hopefully I can get in and see it! :)

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]]> By: Tracy http://offbeatbride.com/2009/08/self-uniting-wedding/comment-page-1#comment-51166 Tracy Wed, 02 Sep 2009 16:41:17 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2878#comment-51166 Oooh, I still had the document I used when we came up with the ceremony. I added it (along with some notes on what we did) as a Wedding Planning Update on the Offbeat Bride Tribe. Just click on my name and it should be showing up on my page by now. Oooh, I still had the document I used when we came up with the ceremony. I added it (along with some notes on what we did) as a Wedding Planning Update on the Offbeat Bride Tribe. Just click on my name and it should be showing up on my page by now.

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]]> By: britany http://offbeatbride.com/2009/08/self-uniting-wedding/comment-page-1#comment-51162 britany Wed, 02 Sep 2009 16:19:03 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2878#comment-51162 I agree with Chen Lie! I'd love to hear more about your vows.. how did you do it? I agree with Chen Lie! I'd love to hear more about your vows.. how did you do it?

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]]> By: Tracy http://offbeatbride.com/2009/08/self-uniting-wedding/comment-page-1#comment-51098 Tracy Tue, 01 Sep 2009 13:11:01 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2878#comment-51098 Thank you, everyone! Thank you, everyone!

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