Comments on: Mrs vs. Ms

By: Kirsten

Kirsten — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 15:28:38 +0000

I've always gone by "Miss Kirsten" to my young patrons (I'm a children's librarian), and while to everyone else I'm going to be Ms. Brodbeck-Kenney (or "Mrs." — I don't really care that it's technically wrong, right now being a newlywed I get a kick out of being called "Mrs.") I'm still going to be Miss Kirsten to my charges.

Report

By: Kirsten

Kirsten — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 15:28:38 +0000

Report

By: Plymouth

Plymouth — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 23:16:32 +0000

Personally, I'm planning to be Firstname Lastname forever, no Miss, Ms, Mrs, Mr or any of that crap. Titles are all about fake-politeness and gender essentialism anyway.

Report

By: minkrose

minkrose — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 02:53:35 +0000

I've had a couple friends who thought about combining their last names (Friedmanderson – which I wish they had done, but they didn't!), so we've talked about picking a new third last name for both of us. I go as Mink Rose to most of our friends, and his last name Berquist (Norwegian: birch branch). We're thinking about Rosequist (though "ros" is proper norwegian for rose). Still haven't decided for sure, but we've got some time.

Report

By: Beti

Beti — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 00:46:46 +0000

I love the irony! And a very astute observation!

Report

By: pixienicki

pixienicki — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 13:02:53 +0000

I'm definitely looking forward to being Dr. MyName, so I don't have to worry about the Mrs. Ms issue… But I liked the post, so I know what to use for the next 3-4 years Thanks for this

Report

By: Kate

Kate — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 17:56:58 +0000

I'm going against what's "traditional". I will give a stern talking to to anyone who calls me Mrs. HisFirst HisLast. Sure, that may be how it USED to be done, but that doesn't mean it always and forever has to be done that way. I'm taking his LAST name, not his WHOLE name. Legally I will be MyFirst MyMiddle HisLast. Nowhere in there is HisFirst.

Like Deanderthal said… screw "traditional meaning".

Plus I really don't like the sound of Ms. It's too harsh, I much prefer the sound of Mrs.

Just like wedding, just because it's traditional, doesn't mean it has to be done. Just because the "rules" say it has to be done a certain way, doesn't mean you have to follow them.

Report

By: sandra

sandra — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 17:05:54 +0000

i'm all for you being the cool librarian. At least until you do become the crotchety old lady telling the kids to be quiet.

Report

By: 2dBride

2dBride — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 10:09:00 +0000

I still remember the old rule, that you were "Miss" if you kept your own name on marriage. I had one receptionist at my old law firm who followed that rule, and called me "Miss." However, when I became noticeably pregnant, she started calling me "Mrs."

Personally, I prefer Ms. for all women. You don't have to know a man's marital status or the name of his spouse to address him; why should you have to with a woman?

Report

By: Deanderthal (Gromyt)

Deanderthal (Gromyt) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 12:31:50 +0000

I find this whole debate fascinating. I love that there are so many different viewpoints on names in this community – from it being the one 'traditional' thing many woman will do, to being the hill that some other woman will die on. And I support each position fully – your name is your name. Do what you want with it.
I'm not changing my name when we get married – why should I? I can see absolutely no reason to.
Especially since he doesn't have to do a danged thing – if he gets to lay back and not fill out any paperwork, neither do I. (And here's where I cross my arms and stare stubbornly down my nose at any naysayers.)
At the same time, however, I fully intend to use Mrs. MyLastName all I want; screw any 'traditional meaning'. Traditions and the lexicon change over time because of usage – as a citizen of the free world, I am in charge of my own title and I say I can be Mrs. MyLastName. (Again, I stubbornly cross my arms.)

Report