Offbeat Bride | One groom's perspective on taking his wife's last name

Recommended reading from the Globe & Mail today: I took my wife's last name by Josiah Neufeld:

So far the name change hasn't cost me more than a few hours of paperwork, some explanations to public officials and a few strained conversations with brittle relatives who think I've joined a matrilineal cult. I still feel like myself. My identity remains intact. Marriage will demand larger sacrifices than this, I expect.

Read the full article, and thanks to Michelle for passing this my way.

Comments (16)

On July 27th, 2009 at 6:44 PM
mollie said

My FH would like to take my name as well. Thanks for the post!

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On July 27th, 2009 at 7:00 PM
Sunny said

I read the whole article and I found it very touching—what can I say? I'm a sucka for romance!<3

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On July 27th, 2009 at 7:34 PM
Jen Cywinski said

Great article! My FH and I are undecided on what to do with our names, but there will always be Cywinski in mine.

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On July 27th, 2009 at 10:21 PM
Amber Green said

I love it when guys do this, very sweet! I am taking the man's name but that's because I really really hate having a name of two colours lol

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- On July 30th, 2009 at 8:18 AM
  AprilShowers said
  
  I have a friend who goes by the name Amber Rose Green, so she's got ya beat there!!
  
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On July 27th, 2009 at 11:30 PM
Lola said

How refreshing. Thank you for sharing!

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On July 28th, 2009 at 2:22 PM
Chelle said

We took parts of each of our old last names & made them into a new last name. We were Peters & Carr, and are now Carter. It was important to us to have the same last name, and I love that we did it this way!

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- On July 28th, 2009 at 3:02 PM
  OffbeatAriel said
  
  I totally wanted to do this, and suggested to Andreas that we mash Fetz & Stallings into one name (Fellings) but Dre wasn't into the idea. That said: I love the mashup names!
  
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On July 29th, 2009 at 3:00 AM
MissPinkKate said

My FI is taking my last name! Hurray!

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On July 29th, 2009 at 10:37 PM
misskatie said

this is the most beautiful article i've seen! unfortunately, on the website it was posted, there were a few ppl with, well, different opinions than that of the author. i got upset and left the website… either way! i love this and wish my husband was more supportive of my name change. he is the only boy on his father's side among cousins and everything – so the only one to carry on the family name. unfortunately – i cannot even begin to ask him to consider a meshed name. mines krohn and his is krueger, so i guess there isn't much to change…except like kroger, or kruehn. i think ill stick with his. thanks for the inspiration with this post, either way

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On July 30th, 2009 at 10:05 PM
Kate said

My husband and I both hyphenated, and he refers to his "maiden name" (which he still uses professionally). We get a lot of comments – all positive, at least to our faces. As far as "what will your children do when they get married?" I assume they'll be smart enough to figure something out. I'm certainly not going to dictate a solution.

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On August 3rd, 2009 at 5:00 PM
Ellie Kwake said

What a great idea! I took my husband's name (He's an only child, and Kwake is a cool name anyway) but if somehting had happened to my brother before he had a kid, I think I would have asked him how he felt about taking my name, or hyphenating. Our names aren't really mashable. Romig and Kwake… Romake? Kwamig? Bluh, no thanks.

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On August 4th, 2009 at 5:05 PM
Sara P. said

I just had a long talk with one of my bridesmaids about whether or not I was going to take my FH's last name when we get married. She was surprised that I would take his name as I've always been this super-independent woman. But I chose to change my name to have a common family name. Not only that but his identity is much more tied with his name (career, family heritage, etc) whereas mine is mostly a source of mispronunciation and poor family ties with my father's side. But the biggest issue for us was that when this topic is discussed it's always "will the bride change her name?" not "will the bride or the groom change their name or will they both keep their original last names?". It's nice to see someone who thinks that it's not so black & white.

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On December 24th, 2009 at 9:38 AM
Empathetic said

I took my bride's last name when we wed 15 years ago. She had 2 kids from her first marriage & her ex wasn't letting us change their last name, so for their sake I changed mine. Yes, I was ridiculed, teased, etc. at first for taking her first husband's name but it didn't go on forever. We had 2 kids also, which also have her/his last name so our whole family would have the same last name. We remained married for 10 years when we then divorced & she re-married her first husband. All 4 kids have been able to have the same last name as their mom & dad their entire life, which is good. I have had my ex's husband's last name for 5 divorcee years now which is kind of humiliating, but good for my 2 kids. I have been thinking of changing back to my bachelor name but not sure. I empathise with brides & mothers out there & over the years.

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On December 29th, 2009 at 12:26 PM
ahsan sushmita said

i want to take my wife's first name at end of my name.

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On January 9th, 2010 at 1:10 PM
James said

I want to be in a female lead relationship. I had 15 years in a traditional marriage and it failed because I couldn't handle it. The next time around I will take her last name and I will let her make all of the decesions. I here that this is becoming more and more common. Any thoughts? Also, where do i meet women who want to be head of household?

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