One groom's perspective on taking his wife's last name
Offbeat grooms
By
on July 27, 2009
16
Recommended reading from the Globe & Mail today: I took my wife's last name by Josiah Neufeld:
So far the name change hasn't cost me more than a few hours of paperwork, some explanations to public officials and a few strained conversations with brittle relatives who think I've joined a matrilineal cult. I still feel like myself. My identity remains intact. Marriage will demand larger sacrifices than this, I expect.
Read the full article, and thanks to Michelle for passing this my way.
About Ariel Meadow Stallings
Author of Offbeat Bride: Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides, Ariel acts as the publisher of all the Offbeat Empire websites. She lives, loves, and dorks out hard in Seattle, WA.
mollie said
My FH would like to take my name as well. Thanks for the post!
Sunny said
I read the whole article and I found it very touching—what can I say? I'm a sucka for romance!<3
Jen Cywinski said
Great article! My FH and I are undecided on what to do with our names, but there will always be Cywinski in mine.
Amber Green said
I love it when guys do this, very sweet! I am taking the man's name but that's because I really really hate having a name of two colours lol
AprilShowers said
I have a friend who goes by the name Amber Rose Green, so she's got ya beat there!!
Lola said
How refreshing. Thank you for sharing!
Chelle said
We took parts of each of our old last names & made them into a new last name. We were Peters & Carr, and are now Carter. It was important to us to have the same last name, and I love that we did it this way!
OffbeatAriel said
I totally wanted to do this, and suggested to Andreas that we mash Fetz & Stallings into one name (Fellings) but Dre wasn't into the idea. That said: I love the mashup names!
MissPinkKate said
My FI is taking my last name! Hurray!
misskatie said
this is the most beautiful article i've seen! unfortunately, on the website it was posted, there were a few ppl with, well, different opinions than that of the author. i got upset and left the website… either way! i love this and wish my husband was more supportive of my name change. he is the only boy on his father's side among cousins and everything – so the only one to carry on the family name. unfortunately – i cannot even begin to ask him to consider a meshed name. mines krohn and his is krueger, so i guess there isn't much to change…except like kroger, or kruehn. i think ill stick with his. thanks for the inspiration with this post, either way
Kate said
My husband and I both hyphenated, and he refers to his "maiden name" (which he still uses professionally).
We get a lot of comments – all positive, at least to our faces. As far as "what will your children do when they get married?" I assume they'll be smart enough to figure something out. I'm certainly not going to dictate a solution.
Ellie Kwake said
What a great idea! I took my husband's name (He's an only child, and Kwake is a cool name anyway) but if somehting had happened to my brother before he had a kid, I think I would have asked him how he felt about taking my name, or hyphenating. Our names aren't really mashable. Romig and Kwake… Romake? Kwamig? Bluh, no thanks.
Sara P. said
I just had a long talk with one of my bridesmaids about whether or not I was going to take my FH's last name when we get married. She was surprised that I would take his name as I've always been this super-independent woman. But I chose to change my name to have a common family name. Not only that but his identity is much more tied with his name (career, family heritage, etc) whereas mine is mostly a source of mispronunciation and poor family ties with my father's side. But the biggest issue for us was that when this topic is discussed it's always "will the bride change her name?" not "will the bride or the groom change their name or will they both keep their original last names?". It's nice to see someone who thinks that it's not so black & white.
Empathetic said
I took my bride's last name when we wed 15 years ago. She had 2 kids from her first marriage & her ex wasn't letting us change their last name, so for their sake I changed mine. Yes, I was ridiculed, teased, etc. at first for taking her first husband's name but it didn't go on forever. We had 2 kids also, which also have her/his last name so our whole family would have the same last name. We remained married for 10 years when we then divorced & she re-married her first husband. All 4 kids have been able to have the same last name as their mom & dad their entire life, which is good. I have had my ex's husband's last name for 5 divorcee years now which is kind of humiliating, but good for my 2 kids. I have been thinking of changing back to my bachelor name but not sure. I empathise with brides & mothers out there & over the years.
ahsan sushmita said
i want to take my wife's first name at end of my name.
James said
I want to be in a female lead relationship. I had 15 years in a traditional marriage and it failed because I couldn't handle it. The next time around I will take her last name and I will let her make all of the decesions. I here that this is becoming more and more common. Any thoughts? Also, where do i meet women who want to be head of household?