Comments on: Why you should start thinking about thank you cards before the wedding http://offbeatbride.com/2009/06/thank-you-cards Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides Sun, 21 Mar 2010 19:31:56 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: OffbeatAriel http://offbeatbride.com/2009/06/thank-you-cards/comment-page-1#comment-51363 OffbeatAriel Thu, 10 Sep 2009 00:22:40 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2450#comment-51363 I disagree, Emily. Part of my point with this post was that it's not about antiquated etiquette -- rather, when new technology like online registries and digital gifts get involved, there can be a question as to whether your gift even arrived. I don't think age has a thing to do with that! I disagree, Emily. Part of my point with this post was that it's not about antiquated etiquette — rather, when new technology like online registries and digital gifts get involved, there can be a question as to whether your gift even arrived. I don't think age has a thing to do with that!

]]> By: ashilleong http://offbeatbride.com/2009/06/thank-you-cards/comment-page-1#comment-51359 ashilleong Wed, 09 Sep 2009 23:56:04 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2450#comment-51359 "The "correct etiquette" on this depends so much on what generation you were born in. Young people getting married today feel the freedom to take their sweet (year long) time to get their thank you's out. Older couples feel it to be more respectful to get them all out within a couple weeks. Both couples should feel the love and freedom from the gift giver to do what they feel is appropriate." Actually, that's not the correct etiquette. Commonly practiced, yes, but not the correct etiquette. I agree that tetimframe isn't so important, but actually getting around to saying thank you is! Saying thank you isn't about being greedy, but is BASIC politeness. This isn't about using the correct cutlery and it isn't something that has been out dated. It is saying thanks to somoene who did something for you. People don't do thingsjust to recieve a thank you, but not saying thank you shows an air of entitlement that really upsets me. "The "correct etiquette" on this depends so much on what generation you were born in. Young people getting married today feel the freedom to take their sweet (year long) time to get their thank you's out. Older couples feel it to be more respectful to get them all out within a couple weeks. Both couples should feel the love and freedom from the gift giver to do what they feel is appropriate."

Actually, that's not the correct etiquette. Commonly practiced, yes, but not the correct etiquette. I agree that tetimframe isn't so important, but actually getting around to saying thank you is!

Saying thank you isn't about being greedy, but is BASIC politeness. This isn't about using the correct cutlery and it isn't something that has been out dated. It is saying thanks to somoene who did something for you. People don't do thingsjust to recieve a thank you, but not saying thank you shows an air of entitlement that really upsets me.

]]> By: Dana D http://offbeatbride.com/2009/06/thank-you-cards/comment-page-1#comment-49672 Dana D Mon, 10 Aug 2009 04:15:56 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2450#comment-49672 These are great ideas! I/We just received our first (two) engagement gifts: a check from my great aunt and a wedding planning book our friends used last year. I love the idea of sending the thank you note before cashing the check. And, while we see our friends often, (and I opened the book-gift in their presence), I still like the idea of a formal acknowledgement of the gift in the form of a hand-written thank you note. These are great ideas! I/We just received our first (two) engagement gifts: a check from my great aunt and a wedding planning book our friends used last year. I love the idea of sending the thank you note before cashing the check. And, while we see our friends often, (and I opened the book-gift in their presence), I still like the idea of a formal acknowledgement of the gift in the form of a hand-written thank you note.

]]> By: Emily Piper http://offbeatbride.com/2009/06/thank-you-cards/comment-page-1#comment-47655 Emily Piper Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:59:03 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2450#comment-47655 I think it is fine to post about what is commonly practiced, but complaining about others lack of courtesy is ridiculous... Who cares if there card is months late or you never get it. Did you give the gift to get the thank you? NO! If you did give the gift to receive something in return then you need to tell the people you gave so they can be sure to write the givers with strings attached first. "I don't give to receive a thank you, but it is nice to be recognized when I go out of my way." - So you give with the hopes of being recognized? This is not the heart behind giving, nor should it be. If you are one of the vain, staunch, self righteous people that give a gift that you know was received, and then say "I just want to make sure you received my gift" as a euphemism for "where is my thank you not" Shame on you! The "correct etiquette" on this depends so much on what generation you were born in. Young people getting married today feel the freedom to take their sweet (year long) time to get their thank you's out. Older couples feel it to be more respectful to get them all out within a couple weeks. Both couples should feel the love and freedom from the gift giver to do what they feel is appropriate. I think it is fine to post about what is commonly practiced, but complaining about others lack of courtesy is ridiculous… Who cares if there card is months late or you never get it. Did you give the gift to get the thank you? NO! If you did give the gift to receive something in return then you need to tell the people you gave so they can be sure to write the givers with strings attached first.

"I don't give to receive a thank you, but it is nice to be recognized when I go out of my way." – So you give with the hopes of being recognized? This is not the heart behind giving, nor should it be.

If you are one of the vain, staunch, self righteous people that give a gift that you know was received, and then say "I just want to make sure you received my gift" as a euphemism for "where is my thank you not" Shame on you!

The "correct etiquette" on this depends so much on what generation you were born in. Young people getting married today feel the freedom to take their sweet (year long) time to get their thank you's out. Older couples feel it to be more respectful to get them all out within a couple weeks. Both couples should feel the love and freedom from the gift giver to do what they feel is appropriate.

]]> By: Kell (Boo) http://offbeatbride.com/2009/06/thank-you-cards/comment-page-1#comment-46733 Kell (Boo) Fri, 03 Jul 2009 09:46:57 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2450#comment-46733 Due to having a destination/elopement/please don't come wedding we got most of our gifts at our engagement party we held 3 months prior. I was pedantically running around with a pen making sure that the second we opened a gift I noted down on the back of the card what it was. That way i could write personalised cards saying thanks for the such and such. When we got money, I made sure I made reference to what we bought with it and how we'd think of the person every time we used it. I was very careful to get us a nice, useful and (hopefully) long lasting gift with the money from my Nanna (who's a bit too frail to go shopping). Due to having a destination/elopement/please don't come wedding we got most of our gifts at our engagement party we held 3 months prior. I was pedantically running around with a pen making sure that the second we opened a gift I noted down on the back of the card what it was. That way i could write personalised cards saying thanks for the such and such. When we got money, I made sure I made reference to what we bought with it and how we'd think of the person every time we used it.

I was very careful to get us a nice, useful and (hopefully) long lasting gift with the money from my Nanna (who's a bit too frail to go shopping).

]]> By: OffbeatAriel http://offbeatbride.com/2009/06/thank-you-cards/comment-page-1#comment-46504 OffbeatAriel Tue, 30 Jun 2009 23:06:05 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2450#comment-46504 Yep, that was a tip in the book. :) Yep, that was a tip in the book. :)

]]> By: Jessica K http://offbeatbride.com/2009/06/thank-you-cards/comment-page-1#comment-46497 Jessica K Tue, 30 Jun 2009 21:50:50 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2450#comment-46497 Great point, Ariel! Was it in your book where I read the advice "mail the 'thank you' before you cash the check?" Because it's GREAT advice and just the push some of us need to get them written. I use this with any type of occasion like holidays and birthdays. Tell Grandma Daisy you appreciate it before you accept her money, etc. :) Great point, Ariel! Was it in your book where I read the advice "mail the 'thank you' before you cash the check?" Because it's GREAT advice and just the push some of us need to get them written. I use this with any type of occasion like holidays and birthdays. Tell Grandma Daisy you appreciate it before you accept her money, etc. :)

]]> By: OffbeatAriel http://offbeatbride.com/2009/06/thank-you-cards/comment-page-1#comment-46381 OffbeatAriel Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:53:57 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2450#comment-46381 Just to echo what Kate (below) said: I'm not suggesting you send out Thank You cards before the wedding -- just that you keep a solid list of all manner of gifts (with names and addresses) as you're planning, so that when the time comes after the wedding to send your cards, you don't have to think back and try to remember who helped you with little things. Just to echo what Kate (below) said: I'm not suggesting you send out Thank You cards before the wedding — just that you keep a solid list of all manner of gifts (with names and addresses) as you're planning, so that when the time comes after the wedding to send your cards, you don't have to think back and try to remember who helped you with little things.

]]> By: OffbeatAriel http://offbeatbride.com/2009/06/thank-you-cards/comment-page-1#comment-46380 OffbeatAriel Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:52:51 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2450#comment-46380 Thanks for the props, Jennybelle! :) Thanks for the props, Jennybelle! :)

]]> By: Kate http://offbeatbride.com/2009/06/thank-you-cards/comment-page-1#comment-46183 Kate Fri, 26 Jun 2009 17:42:17 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2450#comment-46183 Erika- No, that's not what the post is saying, just recommending thinking about TYs and getting organized as early as possible. The only reason we haven't started working on TYs yet is because our good friend is designing and printing the cards for us (he also did the invites and place cards). I'm really itching to start working on them! Erika- No, that's not what the post is saying, just recommending thinking about TYs and getting organized as early as possible.

The only reason we haven't started working on TYs yet is because our good friend is designing and printing the cards for us (he also did the invites and place cards). I'm really itching to start working on them!

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