Comments on: Is a potluck wedding tacky?

By: Lauren

Lauren — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 06:22:12 +0000

I love that the women on this site are so realistic. I posted a question about how to best word an invitation to a pot-luck wedding for our 50 closest friends and family members on theknot.com and all I got were brides telling me (not very kindly, I might add) that it was tacky and ridiculous. I love the idea that there are other sane women out there when it comes to wedding planning.

By: Powkisss

Powkisss — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 16:19:18 +0000

I was just invited to a "covered dish" reception and the invitation included info identifying where the couple is registered at. Isn't it a bit excessive to not only expect guests to bring their own food and enough to share with other guests AND an additional gift? It seems to border on greedy in my opinion and it makes this wedding seem like a gift gouging opportunity. I am very interested in your opinion.

By: Tisa

Tisa — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 15:03:26 +0000

My concern is that if you go potluck, then people will use that as an excuse to not get a gift or donate $. They will just bring a big plate of food instead- which is great but doesn't pay for the bills accrued by getting married and taking a few days off. I would also be concerned for sanitation. I have friends that wouldnt mind potluck- but not with strangers or after 'big uncle harry' leans over the table. theres always going to be one gross person.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 20:31:12 +0000

I think Potluck wedding reception is a greattt idea, especially the way the economy is today!! OMG! If a bride has the money to spend on catering.. great for her. but there are alote more couples today who dont have the money and I am one of them. This is my 3rd marriage and last(Had to go threw some bad apples to get to a great one). I am planning on a potluck for my reception and I am wearing kinda a 50's themed dress(tea length) and my fiance will wear a dress shirt and dress pants. My daughters are wearing cute dresses with small pink flowers and green leaves. Just trying to figure out how to do the Invitations and RSVP's. Anyone got any saggestions?????

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 21:55:17 +0000

When I planned my wedding, my goal was to throw a party where no one had to do anything except eat, dance, and enjoy themselves. I planned it very carefully and specifically so that none of my guests would have to do anything, down to hiring a couple of theater majors from the local college to assist my day-of coordinator for set-up and break-down. I was very surprised to have a couple of my friends express some hurt that I didn't 'let' them contribute to the wedding. One even said that she felt like I didn't trust her to help me, which broke my heart as nothing could have been further from the truth. If I could change one thing, I would have asked friends what they wanted to do, or if they wanted to contribute anything, letting them know that it was perfectly okay if they didn't want to do anything except show up. I never wanted to assume that anyone would want to do anything (I've heard too many stories of brides being shocked that her friends weren't ecstatic about spending 18 hours making corsages and bouquets and tying 150 tiny ribbon bows on bottles of bubbles the day before the wedding to do that), but in trying not to burden people, I did make some of my friends very sad, which was the only dark part of a very happy, wonderful day.

In the end, I wound up sending the hired college students home early, as my friends all jumped in and packed everything up for us at the end of the evening before I could even instruct the college students to do anything. Even if my friends were sad, I am still glad I didn't put anyone through any additional fuss or trouble, especially since some of my wedding guests came from across the country. Ultimately, I was just so glad to see everyone and know that everyone wanted to celebrate us and our marriage. I considered my wedding a gift to them to say thank you for all that they had done for me.

By: Paige

Paige — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 10:53:34 +0000

My concern with a potluck wedding would be exactly the same as "asking for gifts" — after all, producing food is generally much more effort than buying a gift! So making it clear no gifty-gifts are expected is one way to manage that, making it clear that people should only bring something if they personally feel inspired to is another, and I absolutely love the way cupcakephoraoh handled it by talking to people individually rather than including information on the invite. And the potluck-weddings you ladies have described above sound fabulous!

By: Crysta

Crysta — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 00:26:20 +0000

Another idea if you go the RSVP card route, you can make it a recipe card and have people actually give you the recipes for the dishes they bring. Then, not only do you have a wonderful collection of family/friend recipes that you will keep forever, but you can also display them at the wedding for a little extra personal flare! Plus, it would be a good way for people with food sensitivities or dietary restrictions to know what they can actually eat.

By: Steffy

Steffy — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 20:44:07 +0000

We're having a potluck reception as well. We're southern, we like southern food, and we have a lot of little old southern ladies in our families who live to cook. Just made sense

By: Cassie

Cassie — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 19:23:02 +0000

Check out a banquet hall that has a bring your own caterer policy. That way its still inside, but you can make it a potluck. You can also do it in a park and rent a tent that has sides.

By: karen

karen — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 07:45:31 +0000

my husband and i are foing to repeat our vows after 48 years. not the 50th as we are in poor health. we have decided to do a potluck reception after the ceremony in our backyard which is lovely and also people can change clothes at the cottage if they wish, as our beliefs do not allow acholic beverages, we are moving the reception to a park that ajoins our property, then the guests can drink as they wish, we are going to have potluck and dancing afterward. also all who play an instrument can bring those and singers can sing if they wish. just really casual. also are asking that they bring lawn chairs.