Comments on: How to tell dad that another man is walking you down the aisle http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle Taffeta-Free Alternatives for Independent Brides Fri, 19 Mar 2010 07:01:02 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: @littleredlupine http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-1#comment-61048 @littleredlupine Mon, 01 Mar 2010 19:56:19 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-61048 Thank you for this. I am close to being engaged and starting to think about the actual wedding. I've known for while that my dad will not be walking me down the aisle. For me, it really is about feminist reasons: I am not property to be given away. I am also independent in nature, which my dad himself has acknowledged. Having my parents walk me down the aisle still seemed not-quite-right. Now that I am getting to planning it there probably will not really be an aisle, which will help. But I know my dad will still be disappointed. We have occasionally had a rocky relationship and this helped remind me that I have to be careful to ensure that he knows the positive aspects of my reasoning and knows it is not about him, it is about me. Thank you for this. I am close to being engaged and starting to think about the actual wedding. I've known for while that my dad will not be walking me down the aisle. For me, it really is about feminist reasons: I am not property to be given away. I am also independent in nature, which my dad himself has acknowledged. Having my parents walk me down the aisle still seemed not-quite-right. Now that I am getting to planning it there probably will not really be an aisle, which will help. But I know my dad will still be disappointed. We have occasionally had a rocky relationship and this helped remind me that I have to be careful to ensure that he knows the positive aspects of my reasoning and knows it is not about him, it is about me.

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]]> By: Bailey http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-1#comment-59718 Bailey Sat, 06 Feb 2010 04:29:30 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-59718 I'm going through a similar situation. My parents divorced when I was young, and I have an amazing stepdad who played a really huge role in raising me. I'm very fortunate to have great relationships with both of my Dads, but I'm still terrified to tell my biological Dad that he's sharing me as we walk down the aisle. For the Father/Daughter dance I'm taking a different approach- I'll dance with my father, and then a little later in the reception, have all of the fathers/daughters in attendance join my stepdad and I as we dance. I'm going through a similar situation. My parents divorced when I was young, and I have an amazing stepdad who played a really huge role in raising me. I'm very fortunate to have great relationships with both of my Dads, but I'm still terrified to tell my biological Dad that he's sharing me as we walk down the aisle. For the Father/Daughter dance I'm taking a different approach- I'll dance with my father, and then a little later in the reception, have all of the fathers/daughters in attendance join my stepdad and I as we dance.

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]]> By: April Yodock http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-1#comment-57529 April Yodock Sat, 16 Jan 2010 00:10:28 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-57529 Can I just ignore this and hope it goes away? Does anyone actually think that'll work? I don't know if my dad expects anything, because we don't really speak much, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. The only real constant male influence in my life has been my brother, and I don't think he'll agree to do it if I ask him because of my dad... So maybe I should just walk alone? Can I just ignore this and hope it goes away? Does anyone actually think that'll work? I don't know if my dad expects anything, because we don't really speak much, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. The only real constant male influence in my life has been my brother, and I don't think he'll agree to do it if I ask him because of my dad… So maybe I should just walk alone?

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]]> By: Kim http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-1#comment-54319 Kim Sun, 08 Nov 2009 22:55:43 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-54319 omfg THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for posting this! For YEARS I have been dreading this exact conversation with my father... except I am having my mother walk me. This has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders! I am going to simply assign him another job of some importance and leave it as that. I hope (fingers crossed) it won't hurt his feelings too badly and another job will ease the tension I *know* it will cause. THANK YOU! omfg THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for posting this! For YEARS I have been dreading this exact conversation with my father… except I am having my mother walk me. This has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders! I am going to simply assign him another job of some importance and leave it as that. I hope (fingers crossed) it won't hurt his feelings too badly and another job will ease the tension I *know* it will cause. THANK YOU!

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]]> By: Ellie Kwake http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-1#comment-49118 Ellie Kwake Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:17:43 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-49118 Well, I'm married now, and I'm glad Clayton walked me. I was so happy to be finally getting married I was crying on my way down the aisle. He very calmly whispered 'Ellie - nuns in bikini's!' I laughed, and managed not to spoil my makeup. And most importantly, I felt so very honored to have the man who made such a huge contribution to my life give me away. I don't think it would have been at all the same if my dad had been the one to do it. As for my dad... he didn't come. He said it was lack of money, and it could have been, easily. I hope I haven't killed out relationship forever, but if I have... well, there wasn't much left to kill, sadly. Hopefully he'll forgive me someday. Well, I'm married now, and I'm glad Clayton walked me. I was so happy to be finally getting married I was crying on my way down the aisle. He very calmly whispered 'Ellie – nuns in bikini's!' I laughed, and managed not to spoil my makeup. And most importantly, I felt so very honored to have the man who made such a huge contribution to my life give me away. I don't think it would have been at all the same if my dad had been the one to do it.

As for my dad… he didn't come. He said it was lack of money, and it could have been, easily. I hope I haven't killed out relationship forever, but if I have… well, there wasn't much left to kill, sadly. Hopefully he'll forgive me someday.

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]]> By: Jessi Juusola http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-1#comment-48594 Jessi Juusola Tue, 28 Jul 2009 17:45:32 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-48594 I was planning on doing just that! I'm actually a little closer to my step-dad (who considers me his biological daughter) than my biological dad, but I love them both very much and it made perfect sense to me to have them both walk me down the aisle. Glad to see I'm not the only one! :3 I was planning on doing just that! I'm actually a little closer to my step-dad (who considers me his biological daughter) than my biological dad, but I love them both very much and it made perfect sense to me to have them both walk me down the aisle. Glad to see I'm not the only one! :3

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]]> By: Walking Down the Aisle « The Wedding Lens Blog – Wedding Planning Tips & Advice http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-1#comment-48567 Walking Down the Aisle « The Wedding Lens Blog – Wedding Planning Tips & Advice Tue, 28 Jul 2009 13:04:41 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-48567 [...] I read another story about a woman who was basically raised by a man who is not her biological father and who she w.... In that case, Offbeat Bride suggested that she break the news to her father by highlighting the [...] [...] I read another story about a woman who was basically raised by a man who is not her biological father and who she w…. In that case, Offbeat Bride suggested that she break the news to her father by highlighting the [...]

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]]> By: Orla http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-1#comment-47673 Orla Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:13:03 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-47673 I have just had the same situation. I went softly as i was raised by my aunt and uncle (who have both passed away). I chose their son to walk me down the aisle instead. He was always there for me. I don't think being harsh is fair. Fathers have feelings too. As much as i haven't had a great relasionship with my bio dad, gently was the way to go. He wasn't happy, asked me to leave because not only did i tell me he wouldn't be walking me down the aisle but my sisters wouldn't be bridesmaids either. I think i have finished whatever communication we had. Giving them another job is nearly as second insult. You are better not having them involved at all. No matter what the circumstances, it is a hard thing to do and is harder for the father to accept so all brides to be in this situation. Accept your bio dad to be upset but remember don't do it as a punishment you will regret that. Make this decision because their really is someone who deserves it better and you know in your heart to be true. The implications of this decision can have a life long result. I am happy in my decision but don't make it out of pain or anger. You won't make the right decision. Chin up brides. I have just had the same situation. I went softly as i was raised by my aunt and uncle (who have both passed away). I chose their son to walk me down the aisle instead. He was always there for me. I don't think being harsh is fair. Fathers have feelings too. As much as i haven't had a great relasionship with my bio dad, gently was the way to go. He wasn't happy, asked me to leave because not only did i tell me he wouldn't be walking me down the aisle but my sisters wouldn't be bridesmaids either. I think i have finished whatever communication we had. Giving them another job is nearly as second insult. You are better not having them involved at all. No matter what the circumstances, it is a hard thing to do and is harder for the father to accept so all brides to be in this situation. Accept your bio dad to be upset but remember don't do it as a punishment you will regret that. Make this decision because their really is someone who deserves it better and you know in your heart to be true. The implications of this decision can have a life long result. I am happy in my decision but don't make it out of pain or anger. You won't make the right decision. Chin up brides.

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]]> By: VintageZombie http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-1#comment-47101 VintageZombie Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:17:38 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-47101 I love that you posted this. My uncle pretty much raised me and will be the one walking me down the aisle. My dad and I have reconnected and I do want him to be apart of the wedding, but just not as the man to give me away. Instead he is going to be the one officiating the wedding. This will mean more to me, and I hope he understands. I love that you posted this. My uncle pretty much raised me and will be the one walking me down the aisle. My dad and I have reconnected and I do want him to be apart of the wedding, but just not as the man to give me away. Instead he is going to be the one officiating the wedding. This will mean more to me, and I hope he understands.

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]]> By: Jess http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-1#comment-44911 Jess Tue, 09 Jun 2009 20:59:46 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-44911 I was fretting this very thing and it wound up coming up in conversation so I didn't have to bring it up. Unfortunately for me, my dad didn't take the news so well and got a bit snarky with me, suggesting that my mother (who is walking me down the aisle) could take his place in the photos and the father-daughter dance, too. Ouch, Dad. I'm putting off telling him that he's sharing me during the father-daughter dance (with my former and current stepdads) for fear his head might explode. I was fretting this very thing and it wound up coming up in conversation so I didn't have to bring it up. Unfortunately for me, my dad didn't take the news so well and got a bit snarky with me, suggesting that my mother (who is walking me down the aisle) could take his place in the photos and the father-daughter dance, too. Ouch, Dad.

I'm putting off telling him that he's sharing me during the father-daughter dance (with my former and current stepdads) for fear his head might explode.

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