Comments on: How to tell dad that another man is walking you down the aisle

By: Kim

Kim — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 22:55:43 +0000

omfg THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for posting this! For YEARS I have been dreading this exact conversation with my father… except I am having my mother walk me. This has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders! I am going to simply assign him another job of some importance and leave it as that. I hope (fingers crossed) it won't hurt his feelings too badly and another job will ease the tension I *know* it will cause. THANK YOU!

By: Ellie Kwake

Ellie Kwake — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:17:43 +0000

Well, I'm married now, and I'm glad Clayton walked me. I was so happy to be finally getting married I was crying on my way down the aisle. He very calmly whispered 'Ellie – nuns in bikini's!' I laughed, and managed not to spoil my makeup. And most importantly, I felt so very honored to have the man who made such a huge contribution to my life give me away. I don't think it would have been at all the same if my dad had been the one to do it.

As for my dad… he didn't come. He said it was lack of money, and it could have been, easily. I hope I haven't killed out relationship forever, but if I have… well, there wasn't much left to kill, sadly. Hopefully he'll forgive me someday.

By: Jessi Juusola

Jessi Juusola — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 17:45:32 +0000

I was planning on doing just that! I'm actually a little closer to my step-dad (who considers me his biological daughter) than my biological dad, but I love them both very much and it made perfect sense to me to have them both walk me down the aisle. Glad to see I'm not the only one! :3

By: Walking Down the Aisle « The Wedding Lens Blog – Wedding Planning Tips & Advice

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 13:04:41 +0000

[...] I read another story about a woman who was basically raised by a man who is not her biological father and who she w…. In that case, Offbeat Bride suggested that she break the news to her father by highlighting the [...]

By: Orla

Orla — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:13:03 +0000

I have just had the same situation. I went softly as i was raised by my aunt and uncle (who have both passed away). I chose their son to walk me down the aisle instead. He was always there for me. I don't think being harsh is fair. Fathers have feelings too. As much as i haven't had a great relasionship with my bio dad, gently was the way to go. He wasn't happy, asked me to leave because not only did i tell me he wouldn't be walking me down the aisle but my sisters wouldn't be bridesmaids either. I think i have finished whatever communication we had. Giving them another job is nearly as second insult. You are better not having them involved at all. No matter what the circumstances, it is a hard thing to do and is harder for the father to accept so all brides to be in this situation. Accept your bio dad to be upset but remember don't do it as a punishment you will regret that. Make this decision because their really is someone who deserves it better and you know in your heart to be true. The implications of this decision can have a life long result. I am happy in my decision but don't make it out of pain or anger. You won't make the right decision. Chin up brides.

By: VintageZombie

VintageZombie — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:17:38 +0000

I love that you posted this. My uncle pretty much raised me and will be the one walking me down the aisle. My dad and I have reconnected and I do want him to be apart of the wedding, but just not as the man to give me away. Instead he is going to be the one officiating the wedding. This will mean more to me, and I hope he understands.

By: Jess

Jess — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 20:59:46 +0000

I was fretting this very thing and it wound up coming up in conversation so I didn't have to bring it up. Unfortunately for me, my dad didn't take the news so well and got a bit snarky with me, suggesting that my mother (who is walking me down the aisle) could take his place in the photos and the father-daughter dance, too. Ouch, Dad.

I'm putting off telling him that he's sharing me during the father-daughter dance (with my former and current stepdads) for fear his head might explode.

By: Laurie

Laurie — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 03:07:03 +0000

@PDXKate. How did that go!?! I actually would like both of my parents to walk me down the aisle because when I was married before I didn't have anyone do it and he was PISSED. They got divorced about what 5 or 6 years ago and it's gone badly since then. Ridiculous is a theme for my family. Any tips on making it less so?

By: Liane

Liane — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 18:47:06 +0000

I just got married and dealt with this. My father was NOT walking me down the aisle after all our less than spectacular history. I went through all sorts of options – grandfather, both grandfathers, mom, myself, good friends… At first I felt like it was super important to have someone there to support me and represent family and community, but in the end I was just too conflicted about choosing someone and decided to walk by myself. My family and friends surrounding me were support enough, and it felt just fine.

We also didn't do any traditional dances, nor the traditional family photos. Just a few group shots and that was good enough.

By: Kaitlin

Kaitlin — Sun, 31 May 2009 06:48:43 +0000

Oh, Julie. I'm so sorry to hear that your discussion with your parents was so poorly received. Depending on how long it is until the wedding, could you reapproach the issue with them?

I'm going through this a bit right now with my parents. In short, my father hasn't been support of me or my marriage, and I don't want him walking me down the aisle. I know it's a topic that will have to be discussed with him more than once, and I imagine the same might be true of your father…