Comments on: How to tell dad that another man is walking you down the aisle http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides Fri, 25 May 2012 20:30:38 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Kirstin http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-3#comment-140718 Kirstin Sat, 31 Mar 2012 00:44:56 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-140718 While this is helpful, I'm still not sure how it'll work for dads who really aren't in the loop of things. I honestly don't care if my biological dad is at my wedding or not, but I invited him because both my grandma and him would get offended (I'm really doing it more for grandma). I'd much rather have my step-dad walk me down the isle or do the father daughter dance. How do I invite him as a guest and that's it? (I don't even know if he'll be there or not, he's halfway across the country and our wedding will be on a weekday during the school year) While this is helpful, I'm still not sure how it'll work for dads who really aren't in the loop of things. I honestly don't care if my biological dad is at my wedding or not, but I invited him because both my grandma and him would get offended (I'm really doing it more for grandma). I'd much rather have my step-dad walk me down the isle or do the father daughter dance. How do I invite him as a guest and that's it? (I don't even know if he'll be there or not, he's halfway across the country and our wedding will be on a weekday during the school year)
]]> By: Brittany http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-1#comment-120502 Brittany Wed, 19 Oct 2011 17:30:51 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-120502 Thank you! This is a life saver. I have been distraught on how I wanted to walk down the isle. I don't believe anyone can give me away, but my fiance and I both want the dress a secret until the walk. This solves every problem. Thanks! Thank you! This is a life saver. I have been distraught on how I wanted to walk down the isle. I don't believe anyone can give me away, but my fiance and I both want the dress a secret until the walk. This solves every problem. Thanks!
]]> By: Emmi http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-3#comment-112162 Emmi Sun, 04 Sep 2011 04:59:04 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-112162 I developed my plan today: my only sibling is my twin brother, and I really want him to walk me down the aisle because even though dad has been there my whole life, he has been a complete a-hole the whole time (he's both a clinical narcissist and an alcoholic). So my rationale is that I would not be who I am today without the love and support of my whole family, and since my brother won't be a groomsman, but we've always been close, I want to honor him by having him walk me down the aisle, then have both my parents (they're separated) step forward from the front pew, and when the minister asks "Who brings this woman to be married to this man?" they will all 3 respond "We do," then I will hug each of them, and the wedding will proceed. Dad will still get his spotlight moment (which he views as his right, but tough, it's this or he can just not come at all!), but the people who actually love and care for me will share it with him, and I won't have to deal with him right before I walk down the aisle. I developed my plan today: my only sibling is my twin brother, and I really want him to walk me down the aisle because even though dad has been there my whole life, he has been a complete a-hole the whole time (he's both a clinical narcissist and an alcoholic). So my rationale is that I would not be who I am today without the love and support of my whole family, and since my brother won't be a groomsman, but we've always been close, I want to honor him by having him walk me down the aisle, then have both my parents (they're separated) step forward from the front pew, and when the minister asks "Who brings this woman to be married to this man?" they will all 3 respond "We do," then I will hug each of them, and the wedding will proceed. Dad will still get his spotlight moment (which he views as his right, but tough, it's this or he can just not come at all!), but the people who actually love and care for me will share it with him, and I won't have to deal with him right before I walk down the aisle.
]]> By: Suz http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-3#comment-101235 Suz Mon, 20 Jun 2011 21:41:45 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-101235 My family tree situation is so so convoluted there isn't enough room here to type it all. Nonetheless, both my dad(Joe) and my step-dad(Roger) are deceased. The only one coming on my "family" side is my mom. So guess what? My MOM is walking me down the aisle. We even found a floor length dress in her closet in Jan. that fits, matches my dress and is the one for her! I am blessed that she is coming out 10 days ahead to spend time with me/us and help out. The true blessing is my "church family" almost all of whom are having a hand in the wedding...and I am lucky to have them. ;) My family tree situation is so so convoluted there isn't enough room here to type it all. Nonetheless, both my dad(Joe) and my step-dad(Roger) are deceased. The only one coming on my "family" side is my mom. So guess what? My MOM is walking me down the aisle. We even found a floor length dress in her closet in Jan. that fits, matches my dress and is the one for her! I am blessed that she is coming out 10 days ahead to spend time with me/us and help out.

The true blessing is my "church family" almost all of whom are having a hand in the wedding…and I am lucky to have them. ;)

]]> By: Sunshine http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-3#comment-100485 Sunshine Sun, 12 Jun 2011 06:59:59 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-100485 I bow down humbly in the presence of such grnetaess. I bow down humbly in the presence of such grnetaess.
]]> By: Chantal http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-3#comment-98782 Chantal Wed, 25 May 2011 22:06:51 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-98782 Likewise, I do not have a good relationship with my father, and did not want him to walk me down the aisle as I was about to make vows that he had broken. That said, he is still my father, and I felt the need to acknowledge that. In the end, I decided to have him play guitar while my mother walked with me. I asked him if he would play, and did not even broach the subject of him walking me. It went really well, and even his side of the family said that it was a great compromise. Likewise, I do not have a good relationship with my father, and did not want him to walk me down the aisle as I was about to make vows that he had broken. That said, he is still my father, and I felt the need to acknowledge that. In the end, I decided to have him play guitar while my mother walked with me. I asked him if he would play, and did not even broach the subject of him walking me. It went really well, and even his side of the family said that it was a great compromise.
]]> By: Rachel Harris http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-3#comment-97872 Rachel Harris Mon, 16 May 2011 02:05:35 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-97872 Fortunately, my bio-dad told me that he would be uncomfortable walking me down the aisle because he's a Jehovah's Witness, and I, my fiance, and the woman who is marrying us, are all Witches. Not to mention my father's side of the family basically told me they're not going to my wedding, so I don't have to worry about offending them...being offended at the turn down, however, is a whole other subject... Fortunately, my bio-dad told me that he would be uncomfortable walking me down the aisle because he's a Jehovah's Witness, and I, my fiance, and the woman who is marrying us, are all Witches. Not to mention my father's side of the family basically told me they're not going to my wedding, so I don't have to worry about offending them…being offended at the turn down, however, is a whole other subject…
]]> By: Katie http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-3#comment-97276 Katie Sun, 08 May 2011 03:16:09 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-97276 I am no where near getting married (grad school first) but this issue plagues me. I haven't talked to my bio-dad for about 8 years now. My mom got remarried, but despite adopting me and being my father figure for the past 12 years, my step dad and I really really do not get along. My parents are still married, though they do not get along. I do not want him to walk me, and I do not want a father-daughter dance. I think my wishes will destroy any semblance of a relationship we may have had, and will also make my parents marriage that much worse. Ugh. It's enough to be happy that phDs take so damn long. I am no where near getting married (grad school first) but this issue plagues me. I haven't talked to my bio-dad for about 8 years now. My mom got remarried, but despite adopting me and being my father figure for the past 12 years, my step dad and I really really do not get along. My parents are still married, though they do not get along. I do not want him to walk me, and I do not want a father-daughter dance. I think my wishes will destroy any semblance of a relationship we may have had, and will also make my parents marriage that much worse. Ugh. It's enough to be happy that phDs take so damn long.
]]> By: CupcakeLush http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-3#comment-97165 CupcakeLush Fri, 06 May 2011 20:06:01 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-97165 I've had to address this problem as well and sure wish I'd seen this before I had! I think I came up with a fair compromise on my own though. My dad left my brother and I (our mother had passed 3 years prior) when I was 16 & big bro was 21, leaving brother to raise me. Since then we have always been understandably close. We kept in contact with dear ol dad and even though we have forgiven him there are still some hurt feelings. So when I started planning my wedding my first choice for my aisle companion was my big brother. He thought I should at least offer the role to our dad but I wasn't sure I could rely on him to show up even if he accepted. So I suggested that they both walk me down! My dad felt it was appropriate (more so than I expected!) and I still get my brother on my arm! Bonus: if dear ol dad doesn't show, I've still got my #1 draft, no last minute changes! I've had to address this problem as well and sure wish I'd seen this before I had! I think I came up with a fair compromise on my own though. My dad left my brother and I (our mother had passed 3 years prior) when I was 16 & big bro was 21, leaving brother to raise me. Since then we have always been understandably close. We kept in contact with dear ol dad and even though we have forgiven him there are still some hurt feelings. So when I started planning my wedding my first choice for my aisle companion was my big brother. He thought I should at least offer the role to our dad but I wasn't sure I could rely on him to show up even if he accepted. So I suggested that they both walk me down! My dad felt it was appropriate (more so than I expected!) and I still get my brother on my arm! Bonus: if dear ol dad doesn't show, I've still got my #1 draft, no last minute changes!
]]> By: Jess http://offbeatbride.com/2009/05/how-to-tell-dad-that-another-man-is-walking-you-down-the-aisle/comment-page-3#comment-97101 Jess Fri, 06 May 2011 12:41:54 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=2199#comment-97101 Initially I just wanted to walk my own self down the aisle but my dad was so disappointed by that idea. However once I researched Jewish weddings I figured out that both families stand up with the bride and groom and the wedding is about a blending of two families to create a new family. By having my parents walk my down the aisle it was less about an exchange of property from father to husband and more about creating a new family. I decided to compromise and have both my parents walk me down the aisle, and then half way down my dad lifts up my veil and I walk myself the rest of the way. Of course the aisle was so short and I was so excited that I forgot to have dad lift the veil so I had to backtrack. everyone had a polite chuckle over that. It made everyone happy. Initially I just wanted to walk my own self down the aisle but my dad was so disappointed by that idea. However once I researched Jewish weddings I figured out that both families stand up with the bride and groom and the wedding is about a blending of two families to create a new family. By having my parents walk my down the aisle it was less about an exchange of property from father to husband and more about creating a new family.

I decided to compromise and have both my parents walk me down the aisle, and then half way down my dad lifts up my veil and I walk myself the rest of the way. Of course the aisle was so short and I was so excited that I forgot to have dad lift the veil so I had to backtrack. everyone had a polite chuckle over that. It made everyone happy.

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