Getting lingerie from my future MIL in front of a room full of near strangers wasn
Ah, the "wedding shower" — A wonderful tradition rife with feminist solidarity and celebrations of love, marriage and family bonding?
…Or torture in the form of humiliating games and awkward, voyeuristic present-opening rituals? If I were to answer this from my own experience (see the picture of me to the left, taken during my nightmare wedding shower), I'd have to say a little of the former and whole lot of the latter.
But fear not this same cruel fate! Because OffbeatBride.com is here to tell you that it doesn't have to go down like that!
Future brides, family members, bestest friends and future-in-laws, put down those rolls of toilet paper and read this:
Offbeat Bride's list of (dare we say it?)
FUN & TORTURE FREE WEDDING SHOWER IDEAS…
Themed Wedding Showers: (FYI, these could work for both "girls only" and "co-ed" wedding showers.)
Pink flamingos & croquet paraphernalia makes any party all the more awesome.
"Garden Party" — "Let's all plant little things together and let them grow like Jane & John's lerv!" This theme can also work for "Green" brides. You could help the bride and groom start a garden in their new home or go somewhere and all plant trees as gifts to the Earth conscious couple.
"Alice in Wonderland Shower" — This idea came from Offbeat Bride Tribe member Aimee. (To read the whole description complete with pics, click here.) Host an offbeat tea party complete with croquet game, funky tea pots and tea related gifts. Rabbit ears and funky hats are encouraged.
"Stock the Bar" party — For the the couple who lives to entertain. Guests bring bottles of alcohol, martini shakers, stirrers, shot glasses, fun cocktail napkins, wine & champagne, etc.
"The Recipe Shower" — For the bride or the couple that loves to cook. Have all the guests bring their favorite recipes on a pre-determined size of paper. At the end put all the recipes in a cool recipe book that the couple will have forever.
OBT member Piefairy with the bowl she made for her bff.
Crafty Showers:
"Wedding Crafts Party" – Is the bride into DIY projects? Maybe you can have the guests help out on any of the projects that need to be completed for the wedding — Oragami flowers? Place-cards for the reception? It could be a way to get the projects done and make people feel like they participated somehow in the wedding.
"Pottery Party" — Several OBT-ers mentioned hosting a party at a paint-your-own pottery shop. The guests could all paint bowls/dishes/mugs/whatever the newlyweds need for their home, and then give them as gifts at the end of the party! (Click on the photo to the left for more photos and descriptions of one such party.)
Group Outings:
No need to hide at your wedding shower if you take our advice!
"Adventure Shower" — Just because it's a bridal shower, it doesn't need to be about sitting in a circle and chatting and eating. If you're an adventurer, have it outdoors and around an organized physical activity. What about rock climbing or hiking and then celebrating with champagne at the top of the cliff?
"Wine Tasting Shower" — Get a group of friends, rent a limo and then spend the day traveling to different wineries. As the wine flows everyone will get more comfortable and get to know each other very well by the end of the trip. Plus for shower gifts, everyone could take turns buying the bride's favorite wines from each stop.
Ironic Wedding Showers
"Embrace the Cheese" wedding shower — Everyone knows that wedding showers are pretty lame, what if you embraced the utter lameness and just had fun playing as many horrible, cheesy games as possible — the toilet paper wedding dress, the clothespin game, wedding word scrambles, bingo, the purse game, and yes I am writing these all from memory… horrible horrible memories. And there needs to be an abundance of "cheese platter" appetizers and other "cheesy" foods.
OBT member Emily in the height of toilet paper wedding fashions.
Demented "Baby Shower" Wedding Shower — The absurdity of this idea is what appeals to me. Play all the horrible baby shower games instead of wedding shower games. This idea came from when Ariel, during a brain storming session, brought up the baby shower game where people smash chocolate candy into a diaper and then people have to smell the diaper and guess which candy bar it was.
So horribly disgustingly wrong at a wedding shower, which makes it so horribly disgustingly RIGHT in my world. Or what about a "baby bottle drink off" with bottles filled with liquor? Then after that play the "change the baby's diaper with one hand" game. Ah, drunken fun with poop jokes and fake babies. That spells fun to me!
So there ya go. We hope this helped to save some future brides-to-be from a boring and torturous bridal shower. Use any of of these ideas and we promise the bride will be more than just thanking you for the lovely toaster, she'll actually be having a good time!
And of course we'd love to hear more ideas from you if you've got 'em.
Comments on "Torture-Free Wedding Showers"
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Amanda
April 20th, 2009 · 6:21 AM · #
Thanks you for posting this! My mom has been hounding me about shower stuff, and I've sent her this link to give her some ideas.
Miss Jess
April 20th, 2009 · 8:36 AM · #
I just forwarded this to my mom, and she replied with one word – "Fabulous!"
Roxie
April 20th, 2009 · 8:49 AM · #
My shower is this weekend, and my mother wanted none of my imput. I am VERY worried.
Suzanna
April 20th, 2009 · 10:10 AM · #
This was hilarious and totally helpful.
Aimee
April 20th, 2009 · 10:31 AM · #
Aww cool you featured my shower. It was tons of fun! I had also posted a bunch more pictures to a post in the decor fetishist archive if anyone wants to see more of the shower for inspiration http://offbeatbride.ning.com/forum/topics/1190964:Topic:75179?id=1190964%3ATopic%3A75179&page=6#comments
Beav
April 20th, 2009 · 10:59 AM · #
Very nice post! My bridal shower is in 2weeks, and after going to my MOH baby shower just a few weeks ago where we decorated onesies for the little guy, I thought why not decorate "Marriage Undies" for me at my shower?! The fiance was totally weirded out by my idea, but when he sees the end product like a pair of "DO NOT ENTER" on the bum side undies, then I know he'll get a kick out of it
Krissi
April 20th, 2009 · 11:01 AM · #
Dammit! Where the hell was this article last year when my best friend got married and I stood as her maid of honour?! This would have made things interesting for sure!
I'll have the ideas for next time
Lani
April 20th, 2009 · 11:12 AM · #
You totally forgot about a candy-themed wedding shower. I didn't have one at all – though now I'm wishing we had a stock-the-bar shower because we do like to drink…er…I mean, entertain.
Kate
April 20th, 2009 · 11:37 AM · #
Roxie-mine is this Saturday, and I'm nervous too! Thankfully the aunts who are throwing it are very classy and tactful, but I'm realizing I don't know anything beyond the place and time. I think word got out though that I don't like games…..thank goodness my mom knows me well…..
Freya
April 20th, 2009 · 12:04 PM · #
I had to plan a shower/bachelorette party from 500 miles away and decided it would be easiest to host a lingerie/sex toy party for only the bridesmaids and the bride. I had one of the consultants come and do her thing. It wasn't very DIY, but it was easy and non-awkward since all the girls are good friends.
Margarita
April 20th, 2009 · 1:22 PM · #
Thanks for posting this. I have to go to yet another mini-wedding – I mean, wedding shower, which involves 100 guests, tons of food, playing bingo while the bride opens a million presents, playing embarassing games… do i have to go? Oh yeah, i'm a bridesmaid, so I have to ANNOUNCE these games. UGH.
I would love the idea of a "Tiffany's" themed tea party with a dessert table in the style of amy atlas…. wouldn't that be divine??
Jennifer
April 20th, 2009 · 1:25 PM · #
Mine is coming up in June, and my two college age daughters are my maids of honor, and are VERY busy so I am doing a lot of the work myself
Cool, huh! I am SO down with the "Stock the bar" as the "wishing well"- but my mother is insisting on 'games' which I DETEST! There is such a mixed age group, old aunties and young adults… We are having it at my mother's condo clubhouse, but I need help before I end up playing Bingo and wearing a ribbon hat made out of a paper plate….ugh!!!!
Lisa M
April 20th, 2009 · 1:40 PM · #
I just had my shower this last weekend and it was so much fun. It was a mexican fiesta themed party. We had homemade margaritas and sangria, fun fiesta decorations, awesome chile verde catered in and a pinata with liquor filled chocolates and makeup samples inside. We all had a great time. It was even better when some of the older ladies went home and the boys (FH, dad, brother, and various other male friends) came over to continue the party!
Chelsea
April 20th, 2009 · 3:08 PM · #
haha, I forwarded it to my mom as well! We kinda forgot to even think about a wedding shower.. and I was going to ditch it until I realized it COULD be really fun if we make it..
Plus, I love being surrounded by my hot friends!
Thanks for this AMAZING post!
Rachel
April 20th, 2009 · 3:20 PM · #
Chocolate…in…a…diaper?! The mind boggles!! The whole "shower" phenomenon hasn't taken off in the UK (yet). But a lot of these ideas would be fun alternatives to "hen nights" (when the bride-to-be and her female friends typically go out, often in costume, and booze heavily for many hours… They run rampant through my town on Saturday nights, particularly from now through to September!). A pottery party would be nice and chilled out.
How about a home spa party? It could be a bit like a girly sleepover – face packs, manicures etc! If you were feeling rich, you could have a beautician come to your house, but a lot of that stuff is easy to DIY too!
piefairy
April 20th, 2009 · 4:10 PM · #
yay, you have my paint-the-plates party! =) that was a lot of fun. and i love the other ideas on here. 'embrace the cheese' would be fun (sconnie girl, here) and, knowing my moh (we do a lot of scavenger hunts and mis-adventures together) the 'adventure shower' is not at all unlikely. =) cute ideas!
Wedding Skulls
April 20th, 2009 · 4:10 PM · #
Hah, what an awesome post!
As a New Zealander, I really don't understand the point of a bridal shower. Your guests have to bring gifts to the wedding, and your bridesmaids/friends have to pay for the hens night, so why burden them all further? Over here we sometimes have 'kitchen teas' but they're normally a prelude to the hen's night.
I love the idea of a spa party as well. For our friend's hen's night we hired a lady to teach us all pole dancing – that was really fun! Even my mum joined in. I also know girls who take burlesque lessons – could work for a shower too.
Jess
April 20th, 2009 · 4:12 PM · #
I simply love the first picture of this article — it is so telling of the discomfort that accompanies so many brides at their showers.
My mother, sister, and sister-in-law bond constantly over tea. It's a special thing for us so I'll definitely be doing a tea party. I hadn't thought of making it extra fun (and a little cheese) with an "Alice in Wonderland" theme. What a good idea!
Tracy
April 20th, 2009 · 4:28 PM · #
I put my foot down and told my MIL that I did not want a bridal shower. She can have one for all I care, I just won't be there.
Instead I decided to include her in some of the planning activities so she doesn't feel excluded.
GabHari
April 20th, 2009 · 4:50 PM · #
My best friend asked me to be her maid of honor, and though I figured I'd have to plan the shower/bachelorette party. I was at a loss for what to do (with the exception of having another friend teach some burlesque). THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THESE IDEAS!!!!
Offbeat Intern
April 20th, 2009 · 4:54 PM · #
you guys are VERY VERY WELCOME! I'll be super happy if I can at least save just ONE bride from a horribly painful wedding shower fate with this little article. And I love that so many of you are forwarding this to your moms. That makes me smile.
Jes
April 20th, 2009 · 6:31 PM · #
My sister hosted a super cool wedding shower for me and my fiance. All guests were asked to bring a 'date in a bag.' Everyone had to write step by step instructions for us to follow on our date on an index card and read them outloud at the party. The dates were incredible, one person created a scavanger hunt all around our city with clues to figure out and lunch, another was a step by step breakfast in bed extravaganza, a letter boxing picnic, a massage lesson for two, etc. We are making a scrapbook and have been taking pictures each time we go out on one of our dates.
Colleen
April 20th, 2009 · 7:47 PM · #
We are doing the recipe cards already- we included recipe cards in the invitations for my cousin's shower. We are doing a word scramble, as that is an easy and non-embarassing game. We are also doing a "dice game" which is sort of like a white elephant gift game except the gifts are cute home good items/fun clearance items from Target, TJ Maxx, etc. and if you roll doubles, you pick out a gift from the pile in the middle, once all the gifts are taken, everyone opens them, and then round two starts, so if you roll doubles then, you get to "steal" the gift you like from the person who has it, and you just set a timer. The other fun game is having someone email the groom funny questions to answer about the bride (her least favorite household chore, favorite food, where was their first date, anything) and then have the bride and everyone else at the shower answer the questions, (use the bride's answers as the correct ones) and see how everyone else answers. This can be pretty hilarious and the questions can be adjusted depending on your crowd. I've been to a shower with the "purse" game and it was akward when the bridesmaid asked "who has condems in their purse for 5 points??" and the bride raised her hand and starts blushing in front of her mom and MIL. . .
There definately is an added cost to having a shower but if you have a few bridesmaids and aunts to help out, its not too bad. It unfortunate but being in almost any wedding party sets you back about $500 when its all said and done (dress, jewelry, shoes, hair, hotel room, shower gift, bachelorette party, wedding gift)… maybe that's why I only had one bridesmaid in my own wedding.
nicole
April 20th, 2009 · 8:16 PM · #
Oh my goodness, thank you for this post! My FMIL suggested a lingerie party for me and I could have died of awkwardness.
These ideas are about a bazillion times better! I love the "date in a bag" idea as well – that sounds like so much fun!
Jessica
April 20th, 2009 · 8:59 PM · #
Thank you! You have saved me the purgatory that is the bridal shower! I've been hesitant to agree to one and now I have some alternatives to offer the eager girlfriends. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Bonnie
April 20th, 2009 · 10:09 PM · #
As an Australian, my experiences echo those of the New Zealander and the UK person mentioned above. I've never really heard of anyone having a shower. We typically have a hens night, but if you're not into a big night out, people usually have a kitchen tea, which I suppose is pretty close to a shower.
I had a hens night, despite being quite shy and not into nights out – I just gathered close friends and we went to see Dirty Dancing at an outdoor cinema. It helped that most of the girls loved Dirty Dancing and had never been able to see it on the big screen, but it was just really nice to be able to sit and chat over a picnic before the movie started.
I don't think we mentioned presents on the invites at all, but some of the girls brought some. The point of the night for me was really to consciously appreciate the women in my life, and spend some relaxing time with them before the big day. Goal achieved!
Christina
April 21st, 2009 · 11:33 AM · #
Another idea that I did for my sister was a picture scavenger hunt. I went out and bought a bunch of props from the dollar store and had each group take certain pictures with them an example would be:
bucket w/ shovel: Get a stranger to wear the bucket as a helmet and brandish the shovel in a threatening manner
my favorite was-
"bling glasses": ask a cop for directions while wearing the bling glasses
it ended up being a lot of fun, I'd love to see it done with a larger group!
BetterBombshell
April 21st, 2009 · 11:54 AM · #
My best friend is throwing my shower in June. I'm fairly certain there will be no avoiding toilet paper games, but it's good to know there are some game-free showers going on out there.
Oh well, I guess I'll just rely on my brother's wife to help me live up to our family bridal and baby shower motto: "If they make you play–WIN BIG!!"
Genea
April 22nd, 2009 · 12:57 AM · #
Me and my girls are going camping for the weekend. I love Camping and so do they. Im sure that ill have to have some sort of weird dinner thing with all the old ladies in the family or something but my grandmother is crazy and so is his so ill probably be highly entertain but the clucking.
madilyne
April 22nd, 2009 · 3:35 PM · #
i had a recipe shower and it was great! every guest also brought me a utensil to use with the recipe they gave me and i got almost all kitchen gear as my gifts!
natasha
April 23rd, 2009 · 10:30 AM · #
Even though i did not want a shower, i finally agreed to a spa shower- manis/pedis/facials and everyone wore they're comfy clothes and pajamas. the best part? no cheesy games!!! and most of the gifts were spa-themed, whats not to love about that!
Carol Ann
April 24th, 2009 · 11:47 AM · #
We did not want to do a shower, because we didn't want people to feel obligated to double up on gift, but eventually relented and agreed to a couples shower. That way my hubby and I could support each other and help things from getting out of control.
Probably the best part of it was when we played a "newlywed game" but we had all the couples present participate. We kept the questions PG-13, and it was fun for everyone. Guests got to learn about us and we got to learn a lot about them.
We also had a game where nametags with a name of a famous husband or wife from throughout history were placed on people's backs and they had to go around asking yes or no questions to figure out who they were and to find the person who was their "partner". It was a nice little icebreaker for our two families meeting up.
Since the party was mixed company, all the gifts were household items, and thankfully I didn't receive even one pair of skanky panties.
JillyKaren
April 28th, 2009 · 11:26 AM · #
So many of these ideas sound fantastic. In Canada, brides are often given the option of a bridal shower or a bachelorette party (more like the hen's night that's been described by the commenters from UK, Australia and New Zealand). My maid of honor bought myself, my mother and my bridesmaids tickets to a hafla – a bellydance party that was sponsored by a local business for the Canadian Cancer Society. There was an open bar, a fantastic dinner of East Indian cuisine (butter chicken, YUM!), a local bellydance instructor came to teach a class for the 60-70 ladies who attended – and then later performed for everyone who attended; another lady who sold mehndi hand decorations; raffle prizes, and another lady who sold jingly hip scarves! It was wonderfully fun and because my MoH didn't have to plan for anything other than buying enough tickets for the girls in our group who were attending, it was very stress-free!
Donna
June 2nd, 2009 · 11:18 PM · #
A couple years ago, I hosted a bridal shower for my friend. She was really into the zodiac and dreams and all that, so I hired this psychic. I "decorated" by putting all these candles around and served lots of alcohol. Every one participated! Even the girls I thought wouldn't. It was a blast. No goofy games for us.
ildiko
July 6th, 2009 · 2:01 AM · #
my friend is going to plan my bridal/wedding shower and the idea she had was so neat for it i thought i'd share it.
have an "underwear tree" where you set up a tree (actual or dry branches) and everybody supposed to bring one pair of underwear and put in the tree. it sounds really cool. then take the tree and go karaoke or dance:)