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Marriage equality in your wedding ceremony
Posted by Ariel · Linkage

9 Apr 2009

Meg & Team Practical have some excellent ideas for couples seeking to recognize marriage equality during their wedding ceremony.

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Comments on "Marriage equality in your wedding ceremony"
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1

Ashley
April 10th, 2009 · 3:03 AM · #

I felt like such an idiot for not thinking of this when we went to Vegas to get married. You can literally see our faces go into *shock* when the pastor starts talking about marriage being an institution for "one man and one woman". I was a bit ashamed with myself, and to be honest, it's the biggest regret I have. So I would say to couples, if you are not writing your own vows…make sure you KNOW what the officiant is going to say. Although that shocked look is a lil funny now to watch on the wedding video, it still tears me up inside.

2

Gail
April 10th, 2009 · 10:08 AM · #

I've been giving a lot of thought to this regarding my own ceremony– Am I the only one who wants to do this? Is it horribly tacky? Is it even possible to include without offending my not-as-open-minded-but-still-very-much-loved ones?
I really want to include it in my ceremony because it's an important issue for me; however, I realize that most of my family members do not share my enthusiasm for gay rights and I certainly don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. But I am SO relieved to see that not only are other people considering/doing the same thing, but that there are some wonderful ways of incorporating the sentiment without beating it over anyone's head.

3

Morgan
April 10th, 2009 · 12:24 PM · #

Our reading was Aristophanes' speech from Plato's Symposium which is a creation myth about the original genders (gay, lesbian, heterosexual) who were two people rolled into one. The gods were angry at them and split them all into two and so each of us is looking for his or her other half. This speech also played a big part in Hedwig and the Angry Inch (a fantastic movie, by the way!). Gay marriage is on the way here in Maine (woot woot!) and I thought it was a nice (and subtle, since it's actually a pretty common ceremony reading) way to incorporate equality into our heterosexual wedding.

4

Jennif
April 11th, 2009 · 11:46 PM · #

Thanks for some good ideas here! I am now seriously considering having a reading from something like the Goodridge v. Dept of Health or the Plato's Symposium piece. Especially since FH & I both love the Origin Of Love song from Hedwig!

Dan Savage had a discussion about this subject in one of his podcasts recently. I bet Ariel, Seattle girl that she is, probably heard and responded to it!

5

Leslie
April 15th, 2009 · 8:52 PM · #

It's a little different for us because we are a same-sex couple, but in our ceremony we asked the people there to also make vows to us:

"To all of you who have joined here to witness and celebrate this union, do you promise to honor and support Leslie and Von’s commitment to each other, and to fight for their rights for this marriage to be universally recognized and respected? If so, please respond 'We do.'
(We do)"

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