Comments on: Weddings for shy people http://offbeatbride.com/2009/03/weddings-for-shy-people Taffeta-Free Alternatives for Independent Brides Sat, 21 Nov 2009 12:51:34 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Amber http://offbeatbride.com/2009/03/weddings-for-shy-people/comment-page-1#comment-42038 Amber Mon, 04 May 2009 05:51:00 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=1822#comment-42038 my concern is a little different. i'm not a bride, i'm only a bridesmaid, but the thought of walking down the aisle even like that makes me cringe. i blush so easily, and while i know everyone doesn't stand and stare at bridesmaids, i'm still worried i'll turn red and everyone will stare. i haven't been to a wedding in years. i'll be escorted by someone, which makes it a little better, but can someone tell me if anyone even pays attention to bridemaids? the one i barely remember, the guests just turned and glanced at the groomsmen/bridesmaids as they walked by. it's silly, i know but it's a huge wedding (like 400 people) and it's just so nerve-racking. thanks!!! my concern is a little different. i'm not a bride, i'm only a bridesmaid, but the thought of walking down the aisle even like that makes me cringe. i blush so easily, and while i know everyone doesn't stand and stare at bridesmaids, i'm still worried i'll turn red and everyone will stare. i haven't been to a wedding in years. i'll be escorted by someone, which makes it a little better, but can someone tell me if anyone even pays attention to bridemaids? the one i barely remember, the guests just turned and glanced at the groomsmen/bridesmaids as they walked by. it's silly, i know but it's a huge wedding (like 400 people) and it's just so nerve-racking. thanks!!!

]]> By: nay http://offbeatbride.com/2009/03/weddings-for-shy-people/comment-page-1#comment-41993 nay Sun, 03 May 2009 03:07:18 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=1822#comment-41993 my wedding is in one week an this whole time i haven't been nervous AT ALL, but just this week i am realizing this is going to SUCK! i am very shy, but will open up after a bit in small group situations. i hate large crowds and oh my god i dont know what i was thinking deciding to do this wedding crap! we have no wedding party so nobody is doing toasts, we arent doing a first dance (because honestly in 10 years, we have never ever danced!) we will be introduced but that will take up all of what, 5 minutes? what the hell are we supposed to be doing the rest of the time!? even the DJ was stumped! he will play music but hes like you arent doing the bouquet, garter, speaches, various dances... i said yeah either this is going to the best wedding ever or the worst! any ideas on time fillers? we will be eating and cutting a cake. we have an excellent dj so hopefully people will be drinking and dancing they wont notice that we're just hanging out.. right? Also, i usually dont take xanax but can get some, how much should i take the day of the wedding? when i start drinking i don't know when to stop until its too late and i dont want to do that!! my wedding is in one week an this whole time i haven't been nervous AT ALL, but just this week i am realizing this is going to SUCK! i am very shy, but will open up after a bit in small group situations. i hate large crowds and oh my god i dont know what i was thinking deciding to do this wedding crap! we have no wedding party so nobody is doing toasts, we arent doing a first dance (because honestly in 10 years, we have never ever danced!) we will be introduced but that will take up all of what, 5 minutes? what the hell are we supposed to be doing the rest of the time!? even the DJ was stumped! he will play music but hes like you arent doing the bouquet, garter, speaches, various dances… i said yeah either this is going to the best wedding ever or the worst!

any ideas on time fillers? we will be eating and cutting a cake. we have an excellent dj so hopefully people will be drinking and dancing they wont notice that we're just hanging out.. right?

Also, i usually dont take xanax but can get some, how much should i take the day of the wedding?
when i start drinking i don't know when to stop until its too late and i dont want to do that!!

]]> By: Lyndonna http://offbeatbride.com/2009/03/weddings-for-shy-people/comment-page-1#comment-40497 Lyndonna Thu, 16 Apr 2009 17:32:40 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=1822#comment-40497 Due to shyness we got married at a registry office with only two guests and didn't add any vows to the ceremony. We then had a very informal party for our families, with no speeches, a bit later. Our families are super nice people and they were very understanding about it. They know how shy we are and they understood that a large formal wedding would have been a pretty gruesome experience for us. Good luck everyone with whatever you choose to do! Due to shyness we got married at a registry office with only two guests and didn't add any vows to the ceremony. We then had a very informal party for our families, with no speeches, a bit later. Our families are super nice people and they were very understanding about it. They know how shy we are and they understood that a large formal wedding would have been a pretty gruesome experience for us.
Good luck everyone with whatever you choose to do!

]]> By: Donald Norris http://offbeatbride.com/2009/03/weddings-for-shy-people/comment-page-1#comment-38700 Donald Norris Tue, 31 Mar 2009 07:33:44 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=1822#comment-38700 I like the eloping idea myself. Elope, dont tell anyone. still do the wedding. but the real pressure is already off since deep down your already married. When I got married my fiance was dealing with severe agoraphobia and we really could have used this advise. The panic attacks were so bad, she couldn't even make it into the church. YES! All the guests had to go outside and we did the whole thing on the steps. i think perhaps having the wedding in a friends back yard also might have cut down on the fear factor a bit. Anything to keep it low key and pressure free. I like the eloping idea myself. Elope, dont tell anyone. still do the wedding. but the real pressure is already off since deep down your already married.

When I got married my fiance was dealing with severe agoraphobia and we really could have used this advise. The panic attacks were so bad, she couldn't even make it into the church. YES! All the guests had to go outside and we did the whole thing on the steps.

i think perhaps having the wedding in a friends back yard also might have cut down on the fear factor a bit. Anything to keep it low key and pressure free.

]]> By: Owa http://offbeatbride.com/2009/03/weddings-for-shy-people/comment-page-1#comment-38027 Owa Tue, 24 Mar 2009 10:30:14 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=1822#comment-38027 He's an introvert and I'm his balance, but I still don't like the "on display" feel of more traditional weddings (like Laura's comment #20 says). We decided to have a more intimate wedding, outside on an island several hours from everyone. Just closest family and friends invited. Even limiting it to around 40 people (including us and the wedding party) it still seems like a lot. We're going to have a really good friend officiating. Our attendant friends(8 of them)in an arc to one side of us, with the officiate friend in the middle of them. Our guests will be in a two rowed arc on the other side of us. We'll walk in together. The ceremony requires verbal response from the group. This makes us both feel more comfortable about it. Everyone present will be part of our ceremony. I can't imagine a more special way to share our happy day with those we love most. He's an introvert and I'm his balance, but I still don't like the "on display" feel of more traditional weddings (like Laura's comment #20 says). We decided to have a more intimate wedding, outside on an island several hours from everyone. Just closest family and friends invited. Even limiting it to around 40 people (including us and the wedding party) it still seems like a lot. We're going to have a really good friend officiating. Our attendant friends(8 of them)in an arc to one side of us, with the officiate friend in the middle of them. Our guests will be in a two rowed arc on the other side of us. We'll walk in together. The ceremony requires verbal response from the group. This makes us both feel more comfortable about it. Everyone present will be part of our ceremony. I can't imagine a more special way to share our happy day with those we love most.

]]> By: Melissa M http://offbeatbride.com/2009/03/weddings-for-shy-people/comment-page-1#comment-38017 Melissa M Tue, 24 Mar 2009 06:08:16 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=1822#comment-38017 So we're not alone after all! While my groom-to-be and I are thrilled to finally be engaged and have our super special day on the horizon, we are both major major introverts. He stutters, so the pressure of saying our vows out loud, or writing our own is out automatically. It's a complicated feeling because we want to finalize and confess our love in front of everyone, but we're terrified at the same time. We don't dance and we haven't quite figured that out yet, but I LOVE the little trick you mentioned! And I LOVE the idea of a talkative celebrant. Our minister is one of the funniest people I know, and a great friend, so that's perfect! Great post : ) So we're not alone after all!

While my groom-to-be and I are thrilled to finally be engaged and have our super special day on the horizon, we are both major major introverts. He stutters, so the pressure of saying our vows out loud, or writing our own is out automatically. It's a complicated feeling because we want to finalize and confess our love in front of everyone, but we're terrified at the same time. We don't dance and we haven't quite figured that out yet, but I LOVE the little trick you mentioned! And I LOVE the idea of a talkative celebrant. Our minister is one of the funniest people I know, and a great friend, so that's perfect! Great post : )

]]> By: Christy http://offbeatbride.com/2009/03/weddings-for-shy-people/comment-page-1#comment-37569 Christy Wed, 18 Mar 2009 20:00:38 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=1822#comment-37569 I am in the same boat as most of you. I have been planning my wedding for a couple of months and every time I thought about walking down the aisle with ~100 people looking at me, my heart would begin to pound. After this happening over and over I decided to have a family only wedding which will be less than 20 people. We are having a reception 1.5 hours afterwards for close friends and family which will be the ~100. Since I am not an introvert, I love to hang out with all my friends and family, just don't want them all staring at me at once. Doing it this way gives us time to get photos and all before the reception without people getting antsy waiting to eat. I love the idea of maybe us walking down the aisle together, so I will do more research on that. I also feel as if the garter/bouquet toss makes others feel uncomfortable so I'm unsure if I will do this or not. Any other ideas will be helpful! Good luck, all! I am in the same boat as most of you. I have been planning my wedding for a couple of months and every time I thought about walking down the aisle with ~100 people looking at me, my heart would begin to pound.
After this happening over and over I decided to have a family only wedding which will be less than 20 people. We are having a reception 1.5 hours afterwards for close friends and family which will be the ~100.
Since I am not an introvert, I love to hang out with all my friends and family, just don't want them all staring at me at once. Doing it this way gives us time to get photos and all before the reception without people getting antsy waiting to eat.
I love the idea of maybe us walking down the aisle together, so I will do more research on that. I also feel as if the garter/bouquet toss makes others feel uncomfortable so I'm unsure if I will do this or not. Any other ideas will be helpful! Good luck, all!

]]> By: Rie http://offbeatbride.com/2009/03/weddings-for-shy-people/comment-page-1#comment-37483 Rie Tue, 17 Mar 2009 22:52:16 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=1822#comment-37483 I wanted to skip the dances, the formal intro, the aisle. Mums wouldn't have it. I tried.... believe me. It just seems selfish to me to know that my parents have been waiting years to walk me down the aisle, and not giving them that. I think I am going to skip the intro. I REALLY hate that. We're having 125 guests. I think that I'll just tell my mom we're doing it, and then "forget" :) Nice to know there are other shy people who would rather stand naked in the classroom. I wanted to skip the dances, the formal intro, the aisle. Mums wouldn't have it. I tried…. believe me.
It just seems selfish to me to know that my parents have been waiting years to walk me down the aisle, and not giving them that.
I think I am going to skip the intro. I REALLY hate that. We're having 125 guests. I think that I'll just tell my mom we're doing it, and then "forget" :) Nice to know there are other shy people who would rather stand naked in the classroom.

]]> By: Teena http://offbeatbride.com/2009/03/weddings-for-shy-people/comment-page-1#comment-36991 Teena Thu, 12 Mar 2009 02:32:46 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=1822#comment-36991 We had officiant-read vows, so all we had to do was say "We do" after he said a few lines. But before that we had a moment just for us (while everyone watched) to whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears =) We had officiant-read vows, so all we had to do was say "We do" after he said a few lines. But before that we had a moment just for us (while everyone watched) to whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears =)

]]> By: Wedding Guru http://offbeatbride.com/2009/03/weddings-for-shy-people/comment-page-1#comment-36882 Wedding Guru Wed, 11 Mar 2009 12:30:55 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/?p=1822#comment-36882 Nice silhouettes. Nice silhouettes.

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