Comments on: Copy 'n' paste conflict resolution (aka How to say "fuck off" and "I love you" and "this conversation is over" all at the same time)

By: Leah

Leah — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:18:48 +0000

Another good tactic is safety in numbers, H2b's gran was freeking out about his 'jokes' about my dad droping me off at the alter (we are *hopefully* having a church wedding) on his motorbike,

whilst I was keeping a straight face and telling her this was indeed the case his cousins/aunt gathered round to support the idea and tell me how cool it was- overrulled gran!

By: Kelly

Kelly — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 01:40:22 +0000

Got engaged 4 days ago. Yep, 4 days. I've already been told that we can't get married in June or July because that won't work for one friend, that we can't get married in the park we want because it has sentimental value to another, that we can't get married the day we want because the trees won't have leaves yet, and that the dress I have picked out isn't cutting-edge-designery enough. Oh, and apparently I have to have a ton of bridesmaids and they all have to look alike. One friend's mom started researching venues and availability WITHOUT ASKING (I've met her 3 times). This post is going to save my life. Printing NOW.

By: Cassie

Cassie — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 13:50:59 +0000

Oh my frikin gawd! tytytytytytytyty!!!!! Every since we got engaged a year ago everyone has had to voice their opinions.. the MoH wants to wear a pants suit, the one MotB wants to wear black, the second cant figure out why i would wear burgundy. why have pockets? why not get married in a church? you havent ordered flowers?… ugh. I think by the day the wedding comes I will either be hiding under the table with a bottle of tequila or will have ripped all my hair out. I never realized i would have to defend myself against the people I love. these diplomatic accessories are going in my purse FOREVER!

By: Nits Nitz

Nits Nitz — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 09:36:38 +0000

It is very hard to manage relationship conflict due to lack of knowledge, conversational skills and immatureness. All these things are necessary for relationship conflict management. We have to take care of all the little things which will turn in to most aggressive talks and conflicts and finally results in to breakup and divorce. When your spouse gets angry then you have to remain calm so that your partner forced to think that you still love and want him. And always remain try to be decent during conversation whether your are fighting or discussing something. And give chance to your partner to express his/her needs and desires from you. It will generate a trustworthy bond between both of the partners.
http://www.marriage-counselors.net/couples-proble...

By: Linda

Linda — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 17:34:55 +0000

Just found this thread. Engaged recently with 4 months to plan. Love some of the ideas! Offbeat bride is what I was planning without realising it. I'm so old now that I think my family is just plain releived, and will be delighted to come to anything! They havent had a chance to dress up for 20 years since my sister's one. She is looking forward to donning a feather boa and sequins, as she has never had the occasion to wear them and her kids are grown up now. He's not far behind me age wise, and with both his much older sisters twice married! Families seem releived they are not being asked to fork out. Might make a difference to the pressure on your wedding decisions with families if you are young couples or first in the fold to be married. Puts it into perspective – also nothing dates a period of fashion like an in-vogue wedding dress. your pics will always be timeless (get some black and white ones also to confuse the great grandkids!) Best of luck all. Linda (UK)

By: How to Get the Wedding YOU Want at Red Gown Weddings

How to Get the Wedding YOU Want at Red Gown Weddings — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 11:38:06 +0000

[...] (NOTE: OffBeatBride.com has a GREAT article about wedding conflict resolution.) [...]

By: Shell

Shell — Wed, 27 May 2009 23:00:18 +0000

I'm marrying a MtF transgendered girl and we're both kinky as heck, and I've already had to change my wedding from ~my~ kind of late night somebody's screaming in a good way party to a family-friendly pool party.

My folks may or may not attend, even so.

That's just too bad. These return volleys are WONDERFUL. I might yet have my father show up, if I use one of these. *smiling*

Wish me luck – 45 days to go!

By: S.A.

S.A. — Wed, 20 May 2009 18:36:50 +0000

I solved both the bridesmaid/MIL/mother of the bride dress dilemma with this phrase: "Wear whatever makes you feel beautiful."

Although this may result in some outfits you don't like, it will save you hours and hours of drama, tears, and arguing.

My sister let us choose our dresses for her wedding, but she didn't see one of the girls' dresses until the day of the wedding (they live in different cities). This girl's dress was really low cut, but when someone else pointed this out, my sister said, "If she wants to look slutty at my wedding, that's her choice. It makes HER look bad, not me."

I told everyone they could wear whatever they want because I am too busy with my own stuff to even care what anyone else is wearing. You want to wear purple tulle? Be my guest.

My issue is that we are keeping the wedding small so most of my family is mad that they weren't invited. I don't know if there's a nice way to tell them, "Look, I couldn't afford to invite all of you so please stop guilt tripping me."

By: Lucylu

Lucylu — Wed, 20 May 2009 12:49:34 +0000

I LOVE the title of this post. Thank you so much. The past week has involved dealing with a controlling cousin and her father (my uncle) and how they want to deal with my cousin's kids at my wedding. Before I had even formulated a policy, they started badmouthing. At one point (during another cousin's wedding where Bad Cousin let her 20 month old chatter throughout the ceremony), she turns to me and says, "I was thinking YES to ceremony, NO to cocktail hour and dinner." Hmmm. Whose wedding?

And +1 to Estella's comment about Difficult Conversations!!! I have the book, and the thought of reading it to deal with this actually flashed through my mind just yesterday. I haven't yet gotten to the part of the book where they tell you what to do when the other side is not terribly evolved. But the introduction promises they do address that.

I love Internet therapy.

By: Melfina

Melfina — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 04:10:49 +0000

I used a combination of these when my future mother-in-law refused to come to our wedding because we aren't having a Christian pastor. Suffice to say at the end of the conversation not only did I get what I wanted (my pagan friend marrying us) but she also offered to pay for our wedding cake as well!