There will always be “trends” amongst people… no matter how “different” they may be. Why? Because we are all human beings! We feed off of the world around us, are influenced by it whether we like it or not. I myself have wanted to wear a red wedding dress since I was 15 years old. Why? Because I look f’ing amazing in red! I am sure that this is the case for a lot of other red dress brides as well.

I am so sick of people complaining that different is not different anymore. Who cares? Do what YOU want. Other people will do what THEY want.. and the world will go on.

Here's the thing. To me, being an Offbeat bride means that you are doing what you want because you want it, not because someone else, whether in Media or in your circle of family/friends say it's "how it should be". If I hear "oh, that's not traditional" one more time….and yet to many of the brides whose weddings are featured on this site, my wedding will seem very traditional.

So, who do I listen to? My Mother? you guys? Nope. Just myself and my man. That's it! I really thought I was being so original using peacock feathers in all my decor, bouquets, etc…because I had never seen it before, I just really love peacock feathers. Then I stumble on this site and realize, LOTS of people are using them…so, maybe I am not so original, but if I were to abandon the idea, then i would still be conforming in a way, and I would be looking for something that has not been done just to basically say I did it first. My wedding is not about bragging rights, it's about declaring to those I love that this is the man I want to be with, live with, raise a family with, etc. So no matter what I do with my wedding style, the outcome is still the same.

Just enjoy your wedding, and do whatever means the most to you, no matter how traditional or offbeat it is.

Much love and peace to all!

Well, here's the thing. I AM, thank you very much. You shouldn't have girly-girl elements if that's not you, but pink roses and lace are 110% me, and anyone who attends my distinctly off-kilter Victorian tea party wedding is going to say, "Gods, that totally is her!" LOL

So, to each bride her own; NOTHING is boring or lame or whatever if you're doing it because it's you, and not because you feel pressure to be more traditional OR more offbeat or anything else.

Love,
A Victorian Frou-Frou Bride

Anyway, I love this. I've also been thinking about/concerned about this very issue, and your Anon commenter summed it up so well. To me offbeat-ness is about who you are and rocking out with yourself, not about one particular aesthetic. I mean, I'm not really punk or goth or any one offbeat aesthetic, but I adore the philosophy, and I'm sure as heck not any WIC asthetic.

But also, what you said about pushback to the WIC makes sense to me too. Every so often I have someone say/comment to me that "it shouldn't matter what the WIC does, you should never think about it, you should just do your own thing." And while this might be true (and I'm not totally sure that it is) I find it to be relatively imposable. The cultural noise about weddings loud even when you are not engaged, and it's deafening when you are. I think some conscious pushback is always necessary, whether that comes in the form of blogging sass or a red dress and converse. So, I think this has helped me understand more of what is going on…

Hum.

Thanks Ariel. I for one come here for your writing. Always have.

Ask Yourself … do I want “Peakock feathers” because everyone else on OBB has “peacock feathers” or did I come on here and say; hey, “peacock feathers” I love that – that’s so me (or that so my FH), I want “peacock feathers” too!
As long as you see something and are inspired by it and feel that it expresses who you are or what you’re wanting for YOUR wedding – that’s what I think it means to be an OBB! Do stuff because you want to do it not because – that’s how weddings are supposed to be .. or that’s what I need to do to be a “good little OBB”! Conformity is doing stuff because you’re supposed to and not because you want to.
Anyone who has a problem with something looking too tradition, or it not being off beat enough, or being too off beat are forgetting that it’s not about what you think is right for their wedding, it’s what they think is right for their wedding. If you don’t like it move onto the next wedding to get your inspiration and stop judging everyone else – there’s really no need!!!
Ariel did a great thing when she started all this – so why do we fight, just enjoy all the wonderful things this site and her book have to offer!!!!!!