Comments on: Why "wedding porn"?

By: Liz

Liz — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 19:07:53 +0000

Porn or pornography is for women as well as men. There is no validity to the assumed link between being feminist, sex-friendly or not, and claiming porn is inherently not woman-friendly. I reject the idea that porn needs to be for women, by women in order to be woman-friendly.

By: Brady

Brady — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 17:53:43 +0000

Ariel, Thank you so much for addressing this! I got caught up in offline life this past week, so I hadn't even checked OBT to see if there was a response posted. I really appreciate your explanation, and also all of this fabulous discussion. I think it's important to have conversation on feminist issues, whether they surround word choices or how to celebrate commitments like marriage.

Thanks again!

(Now I'm off to go research the etymology of vulva).

By: erika

erika — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 17:05:36 +0000

It's interesting to think about word meanings and how they change according to a)context and b)audience/speaker.

For me, "wedding porn" was immediately illustrative, appropriate, and completely inoffensive.

When it comes to terms like "bitch" though, I find that my acceptance depends on who's speaking. I know women who use it as a term of endearment only for close friends, and it invokes a type of solidarity in the group. But when a guy tries to use it in the same way, it just doesn't work for me, regardless of how good a friend he may be. ::shrug:: Call me completely gender-biased in that respect, but for me, that's just the way it works.

By: Annamaria

Annamaria — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 01:00:44 +0000

A few things (most are non-related to each other, and thus the reason for my comment being in list form:

1. This was actually an excellent post/comments section. I love this site so much because of these feminist questions. So thanks Ariel.

2. The book 'Cunt: A Declaration of Independence' by Inga Musico was indeed a wonderful, life changing book. It's always fun to find other fans out there. Especially on this site.

3.I too use the word "bitch" as a term of endearment. But I like bad words.

4."Plant porn" may be the funniest damn thing I've heard in a long time.

Ok that's all!

By: jx

jx — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 19:13:06 +0000

for teneisha
yes, there is porn for women by women – look up Candida Royale – she directed some, now on DVD, and also had a group of women directors do a "short story" type of flick then put them all on one disc. her later works are, as I understand it, more of a movie-that-includes-porn.
no doubt you can find it on the interwebs.

By: JessK

JessK — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 16:06:21 +0000

In my case, I am not an engaged person – I just like looking at this stuff, the more offbeat the better! The thing is this: because I'm not planning a wedding currently, I feel that drooling over strangers' cool wedding shots and stories would be considered strange or even shameful to some people.

When I found Offbeat Bride and saw the term "wedding porn" emblazoned near the header I knew I had come to the right place. I take the term to mean "hey, those pictures of orange dresses dresses and blue cakes and opera ceremonies and bicycle bridesmaids and coffin cookies…the ones you don't tell your boyfriend you look at when you're alone…they're right here. It's ok, I know how you feel and there's nothing wrong with it, so just look at 'em already!" In other words, I felt like someone understood, embraced and validated my harmless interest.

By: Hazard

Hazard — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 15:14:21 +0000

Excellent answer, Ariel.

Bring on the porn!

By: Hochzeit & Trauung

Hochzeit & Trauung — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 09:00:44 +0000

SEO is the key when it comes to word creations

By: Ariel

Ariel — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 04:51:33 +0000

Cate re: SEO reasonings for the term. Yes, I did write about that!

By: Cate

Cate — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 04:48:28 +0000

I like the term actually, reflects perfectly my lusting after photos of offbeat and nontraditional ceremony and rites. But correct me if I am wrong Ariel; didn't you once write in an article about the nuts and bolts of making a website like this a financial possibility that part of the reason you choose "Wedding Porn" was to increase the number of hits? That is a perfectly valid reason for use of the term as any.

Gotta say I don't like "offbeat bitches" but I am an animal person and to me a bitch is a female dog and many men have used the word dog to denigrate women.