Why "wedding porn"?

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Why is it called Wedding Porn?

Since this is a woman-friendly community, why do you call your wedding photography "porn"? My wedding pictures won't be pornographic.

I have no problems with porn, it's useful, especially women porn (for women, by women). I'm a sex-positive feminist. But why do we participate in "wedding pornography"?

-Brady

Great question! "Wedding Porn" is a term I appropriated from an old Salon.com article by Heather Havrilesky.

The phrase is meant as a playful take on the thrill of gawking at images from other people's weddings.

For me, this appropriation of the word "porn" has nothing to do with sex or even gender — it's about covetous voyeurism.

In this context, "porn" simply refers to images that incites desire.

Sure: when you're horny, you want sex porn. When you're hungry, you want food porn.

…And when you're planning a wedding, you want wedding porn.

I'm using the term as a play on "images that inspire desire," rather than "images of naked people engaged in sexual activities." I do recognize that "wedding porn" is definitely a contextual term, and that it might make some people uncomfortable.

I'm a big fan of reclaiming/appropriating words, and it doesn't always work for everyone. I used to refer to my readers as "offbeat bitches" and people REALLY didn't like that. So while "bitch" is a term of endearment for me, I had to recognize that it's just not for others.

That said, I think the contextual use of "porn" is being used pretty commonly online these days, so I'm sticking with it. Most importantly, thanks so much for taking the time to ask! It means a lot to me to have readers who are invested enough that they'll start a conversation with me when they have concerns about the site.

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  1. I have to admit, the term "wedding porn" bothers me. "Porn" is short for "pornography" which translates to documented prostitution. As Andrea Dworkin put it, I am a feminist and not the fun kind. I understand prostitution (including the kind on camera) to be paid rape. The term "porn" is rooted in sexual exploitation. Maybe some of you feel positive towards sex trade or are able to brush away any bad feelings by reclaiming otherwise offensive terminology. That doesn't work for me. Hopefully someday a better phrase will come along that we all can feel good about. Until then me and the rest of the killjoys will just have to skip over certain parts of the webpage.

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