Ciao!
Krissy

I especially love your point about how, in contemporary American/Western culture, people celebrate their cultures of choice as much (or sometimes more!) than their cultures of origin.

What I find fascinating about the subcultures you feature on the site is that many of them hold the place of ‘reverence’ that a traditional cultural background might. People who are into steam-punk celebrate that niche to the extent of their dedication to it as a lifestyle. Likewise, a traditional Chinese wedding can celebrate the rites of that background to a greater or lesser degree.

The difference, however, seems to be that in the one case it is the personal choice of community on the part of the bride and groom, as opposed to their inherited, family-enforced community. And then there are instances in which those entering into a marriage experience a sense of alienation from tradition, coupled with an instinct to find their own roots.

Marriage seems to be an attempt to accept the balance of past and present commitments in your life. And it’s not like there can’t be an intersection of the two. That’s what makes for all of these beautiful OBB moments where granny is getting down with a hula-hoop, or Catholic Dad is crying at his daughter’s pagan hand-fasting.

In some cases, the Bride and Groom may identify deeply with their inherited culture and still be loved and appreciated for their own wonderful weird-nesses. How radical is it to really want a traditional wedding because it reflects who YOU are?

I for one would be very interested to learn more about wedding traditions from many cultures, they ways they overlap. There will be things I dislike and things that resonate with me, but again, that’s what makes this site so interesting: the eschewing of, and incorporation of tradition, in unexpected ways.

As we blend in the proverbial melting pot of 21st globalism, our families are increasingly being asked to step out of their specialized expectations of the world in order to embrace the lifestyles of their children and their children’s chosen partners. So many of us fall in love and marry outside of our particular cultural niche, and this is forcing our families to adapt, to stretch themselves, to challenge their expectations and to really meet new people and points of view. It’s one of the truly great aspects of human experience; allowing other people to open our worlds. And what OBB shows us is that even in the most rarified of subcultures, weddings are an attempt to embrace and celebrate our community, and for them to embrace us in kind, for exactly who we are, in our many beautiful colors.

PS Off Beat Couples of Color is perfect, don't make yourself crazy.
Thanks again.

I remain super dedicated to getting more diversity on Offbeat Bride, and feel like we're doing a better job than most lily-white wedding blogs. That said, it's genuinely hard work to find diverse couples to feature, but it's important to me to try to always keep striving toward more and more diversity. Looking through the last couple months of wedding porn, I feel like we're getting better … but still have a long way to go.

It's worth checking out this link for a glance at OBB's couples of color: http://offbeatbride.com/tag/offbeat-couples-of-co… (and does anyone have a better tag name for that? It's awkward, but I can't think of anything better.)