Offbeat Bride isn't usually an especially political site, but when it comes to California's Proposition 8, I think it's worth talking about it ... even though I live in Seattle, which is definitely NOT in California.
Prop 8 seeks to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry, and it fucking pisses me off.
For me, marriage equality is about family values. As any of you who've read my book know, Andreas and I both come from gay families. His mom (my "outlaw mother") has been with her partner since Andreas was 12. My mother and her partner had a non-legal wedding in 2006. My aunt and her partner of 17 years just got legally married (for the second time!) in California last month.
My family's values are very clear: love is love. Commitment is commitment. It's been inspiring and beautiful to watch marriage equality's spread across the United States. It may be an extremely slow progress, but it's happening. Or rather, trying to happen. Gay marriage became legal in California six months ago ... but now some folks want to take the legality away.
The official Offbeat Bride position on this issue is mostly incoherent shouting of expletives and rude gestures,, but if I can pull myself together for a second, I will say this: Californians, please vote no on Proposition 8. Non-Californians, I hope you'll follow my lead and take action against Prop. 8. Out of staters (like me! and you! and YOU!) can donate to support No On Prop 8. Your donation helps get ads like this on television:
About Ariel Meadow Stallings
Author of Offbeat Bride: Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides, Ariel acts as the publisher of all the Offbeat Empire websites. She lives, loves, and dorks out hard in Seattle, WA.
Jill said
Thanks for bringing this to everyone's attention, Ariel — another reason why OBB is the only wedding website I visit.
jessamyn harris said
word up, girl! let's keep the love flowing…
Meg said
I don't know how many Florida OBBs there are, but amendment 2 is essentially the same mess down here. amendment two is even trying to ban ALL civil unions. . . including those between men and women. thanks for bringing this up!
lincolnsquaremedusa said
I think it'd great that your bringing this to the forefront on here!I think that it's ridiculous to define marriage as only between a man and a woman. I agree with your family, marriage is about love and commitment and it pisses me off that many people call this the destruction of family values! I mean we should be encouraging couple who want to get married, especially in such a divorce driven. lying and cheating to our partners society. I mean isn't that more the destruction of family values and not people who want to get married. Oh I could go on for hours because I just don't understand why their religious views should dictate our constitution, I mean doesn't the constitution say EVERY American should have unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? I don't remember it saying you can't have those things if your a woman or black or arab or gay. Ok I need to take a deep breath. Moral of the story: VOTE NO ON PROP 8!!!
Sidewalk Monkey said
Amen, Ariel. I am all about voting No on 8. My sister and her wife have been together for 12 years, and there is no reason that they should not be given all the same rights that I enjoy as a heterosexual person.
If Prop 8 passes, my fiance and I will still have our wedding, but we won't get legally married. I don't want to enter into an institution that is not open to all my friends and my family.
lincolnsquaremedusa said
I just want to clarify I don't think there's anything wrong with divorce, I was just trying to point out the inconsistencies of their argument, because some of most out spoken leaders for Family Values have been lying cheating scum who have ultimately left their families for a hotter piece of ass, ok I'll shut up now.
Loaf said
Thanks so much for posting about this, Ariel!
Floridians should vote down Prop 2, and Arizona residents should vote against 102 (I think that's the number) which would create amendments to the states' constitutions definite marriage as between a man and a woman. I live in Florida, so that's the only one I really know about, and it would make it illegal for even civil unions or domestic partnerships to happen–even for straight couples!
We really count on our straight allies, so seeing this meant a lot to me. You are awesome.
Luis said
Thank you so much Ariel for bringing this up. I live in California and was lucky enough to marry the man I love, though we will not have our wedding until next year. We did not want to run the risk that we might not be able to get legally married after November.
I really want to reiterate how important donations are. At this point in the campaign, it's all about the media buy, and that is very expensive in California.
The Mormon church has declared war on same sex marriage in California and have raised 77% of the $26.8 million being used against us in tv ads that are so deceptive and wrong. They are telling people we are going to teach gay marriage in schools and that churches are going to lose their tax exempt status if prop 8 does not pass.
We have raised $26.1 million, and we need more to counteract those lies. Please, please, please make a donation to the campaign for no on prop 8 if you can afford it and if you really feel this is important.
xina said
thank you so much for this post–support such as yours helps counter-act all the negativity. and it's so hard not to take the hate personally.
love is love. thanks again for posting & for your support!!
Amanda said
I just posted on same subject over at my blog, and I agree with you 100%. Infact, someone just left a comment on my blog telling me that homosexual couples cannot have happy loving homes with children who come out balanced, and used sign-stealing of pro-prop 8 signs as "proof." I had to very gently remind this person that sign-stealing is occuring on both sides, and give him a point-by-point argument why homosexual families ARE NO DIFFERENT than heterosexual ones with regards to the amount of love and caring they can give. My husband and I do not live in California but I really wish we did right now so we could vote NO!
Alora Gale said
Amen Sister!!! Thank you for posting this!
Kelli Ann said
Arizona is having the same proposal (I think it's Prop 110? Not sure) and it makes me so MAD! My sister and her partner flew to CA this past summer to be officially married even though they'd been together for at least 5 or 6 years. People should be given EQUAL rights. Not only that, but they always say separation of church and state. Um, HELLO? This is such a mix of the two it's baffling. Why must politicians be so awful to people who just want the same rights as everyone else? Grr….
@~>~~
Ragani said
Was just reviewing TeriB's wedding porn on OBT and it nearly brought me to tears for its beauty and love. How could anyone be afraid of that so much that they want to change an existing constitution that currently supports equality?
[photo added by Ariel because TeriB's pix make me melty.]
J.R. Blackwell said
Way to go! I hope that someday I have the honor of voting for marriage equality here in PA!
garnet said
I agree completely. Love is love. If more families we based in love, more children raised in love, there would be less problems with the world today. It really pissed me off that same sex marriages aren't legal. Why aren't they? Because even though this government touts "seperation of church and state" these old biased laws are based on the very church they seek to avoid looking like they are a part of. (urgh…..I need to stop before I get out of control.)
sanriofreak said
i am a CA resident, born and raised, and appreciate you bringing this up.
In personal protest, my F.H. and I had decided we would only get married one day if everyone was allowed the same right to partnership.
It was such a exciting moment when the news came earlier this year that it was now legal for everyone to marry.
We decided to get engaged and now as we are planning the wedding post legalization it is now at risk. This is total b.s and impacts everyone here in CA.
I hope we put an end to this issue for once and the State of CA stop's flip-flopping back and forth. I cant imagine someone revoking our rights as I am planning my wedding now, and I truly empathize for same-sex couples.
I hope we finally make this permanent and go down in history as paving the way for the rest of the country to enact change.
isaluv said
In the words of our peaceful lovin' Michael Franti, "It ain't about who you love…see it's all about do you love, do you love, do you love?"
Thanks for educating people about this Ariel…my mom has been with her partner over 15 years now and they should have every right to marry if they choose…period.
JoyousDawn said
For anyone in AZ they have a similar proposition as well!
Too bad we don't have an add like this on TV in AZ…. all ours say "Up hold marriage, vote yes" and they are asking voters what they will do- get this- everytime they ask a couple the man answers and the woman is silent. gr. It better not pass in AZ, but this is McCain country…
Me said
Hopefully this will go the way it went down in Mass (my beautiful state). Well, Mass didn't let the question get on the ballot, but I have hope that residents would have unheld the legality of same-sex marriage. In any case, there were attempts to take away the legality of it here and those attempts failed. So I'll be crossing my fingers for California.
Brandy said
I live in AZ also, the prop here is 102, unfortunately, it is NOT going to solve the issue of gay marriage. That will still be illegal in this state, it is a little confusing, but I was going over my sample ballot a minute ago and it says voting yes on prop 102 would mean defining marriage as a union between man and woman. The rest is taken straight from my ballot, sorry, I just want AZ residents to know the whole truth, it's still not gonna change shit here, though I wish it were.
"A "no" vote will have the effect of MAINTAINING the current statutory law of the state of AZ, which PROHIBITS marriage between persons of the same sex, but would not amend the AZ Constitution to define marriage as a union between one man and one woman."
With the ads that I have seen it was my understanding that this would be a prop about passing gay marriage, so to get my sample ballot today and see it wasn't was a big time letdown. I wish I was in Cali again too so that I could vote on the issue there. Here's hoping that AZ will shoot down prop 102 and we can move on to the acceptance of same sex marriages…eventually.
garnet said
what i think is terribly shitty is even if in one state it is leagal for same sex couples to marry, it may not be in another. ugh. do away with the inconsistency. this shouldn't be a state issue, this should be a country wide issue.
Gemma Marmalade said
Thanks, Ariel, I'm really glad I raised this subject with you – and you have listened! It is so nice to see an OBBT suggestion followed through. No to prop 8 and any other anti-love proposition! Loads of love from the UK to the no to prop 8 Californians! were rooting for you! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
RBW said
As a native Californian I would like to say THANK YOU Ariel for posting this piece. Prop 8 literally makes me sick to my stomach. I can't believe that I live in a time where there are those who would have some people enjoy certain CONSTITUTIONAL rights, while others do not. And here in California of all places?? I will definitely be voting a resounding NO on Prop 8.
Kristi said
The same also holds true in CT. Same sex marriages were just made legal about 2 weeks ago. But, on the ballot for Nov 4 question 1 proposes a constitutional convention which would try to reverse the equal rights ruling. For absentee voters, on the ballot the question is under the guise of a constitutional convention to change the constitution to allow those of age to vote for president to vote in the primaries. Opening up the constitution directly for change, which many non-supporters of same sex marriages in CT want to do, would be a slap in the face for all equal rights. The question is very tricky in its wording and individuals supporting equal rights should vote NO to not open the constitution to change.
Crystal said
I'm from FL and I know I'm voting NO on Prop 2! NO one has the right to take away marriage equality.