The word tacky has lost all meaning having read it so many times… guess that’s kinda the point!

THANK YOU! Ariel, i know i’ve said this before, but you are my frakking hero!!! My mom LOVES throwing that word around if she doesn’t like a decision i’m making about my wedding. It’s ridiculous and judgemental, and really, who the frak cares if i use labels instead of calligraphy on the invitations? A year from now, nobody will remember.

That was, like, a Tack Manifesto.

YES YES YES YES YES!

I hate how people use this word - which has such a silly ring to it - in a mean-spirited way to demoralize others and pass judgment.

However, I love the use of it all over your wedding photo. It cracked me up!

Seriously. Ariel, you are a hero

I’m not even 10% done planning my wedding and I hear that word… bleck.

I completely agree with Helen. By the end of this entry I was thinking to myself taq-eee? TAKy?

Tack like? So it’s sharp and helps keep things flat? What does that word even mean?

yes this is the whole point of this blog. it isnt for people who do not like offbeat things. i often wonder, why people choose to spend their time somewhere if all they do is want to be negative.

I think I read somewhere on here that Tacky is the new hot.

I *JUST* had a conversation about the subjective nature of tacky last night with my future MIL.

Last month I went to a 100%-by-the-book traditional wedding and (probably because I’m so spoiled with all of the amazing weddings I get to see on OBB everyday) I thought that THAT wedding (the wedding everyone else was “oohing” and “ahhing” over) was THE tackiest thing I’d ever seen.

Which is ironic, considering most of the people present at that wedding think that MY wedding is going to be the tackiest thing that they’ll ever see.

To each her own, right? Tacky. I embrace the “tacky,” whatever that means.

My tape is tacky…my wedding is not.

I had to battle the T word with a classmate who thought that having my wedding at my in-law’s home was just the “T*ckiest” thing ever. He actually asked, “Is their house at least nice?” I couldn’t help rolling my eyes at the uninvited backseat wedding coordinator.

I love your diagram! Maybe we should recalim the word and change the definition because all I see is AWESOME!

Ooohh…I want someone to label all the t—- things in my wedding photos! Whatever in the world is wrong with words like ‘unique’, ‘crafty’, ‘personal’… and ‘fan-fucking-tastic’?!?!

BTW….I love you Ariel!

In response to Rachel:

I was just thinking that my pasties that keep my nipples from poking through my wedding dress are tacky!

As someone who ran with open arms TOWARDS tackiness, I love this post.

AMEN SISTER!
But that marshmellow peep centerpiece is Tacky! (<–sarcasm)

AliCherri1,
It does become tacky if you lick it! HA HA.

I am all about not making value judgments about other people or their ideas.

However, as a girl (and a bride) who sometimes frets over whether or not things will be tacky or uncouth or rude or any of those synonyms I would like to say that it’s not always about fear.

Sometimes I consider whether something is tacky out of consideration for others. I think that lots of us Offbeat Brides tend to toss around the “Who cares what so-and-so thinks”.

Well, I do. And the reason I care about when my mother in law things is because I care about her. I’d like her to be happy and comfortable at my wedding (and in general) not out of fear but out of love.

Sometimes the least “tacky” thing you can do is consider someone else’s feelings enough to change a little detail or put a little extra time/effort into making them feel like welcome guests at your event, instead of alienated participants.

You’re right. I keep forgetting to plan this thing for what *I* want! Who really cares what anyone else wants.

Thanks so much for being a much-needed voice of sanity!

Samantha, I hear what you’re saying, but I don’t know that I’d think of “rude” as a synonym for “tacky.” One is about being inconsiderate and making people feel disrespected. The other is about subjective tastes. Making guests stand up for the duration of a 45 minute ceremony is rude. Giving them handmade glittery mini-pinatas as favors is tacky. I’m not for rudeness, but I’m all for supposed-tackyness.

To Samantha:

You actually make a really great point (as Ariel already observed), which actually serves as a really good segue for what I wanted to say. Because a lot of times people say “will this be tacky?” instead of asking the relevant questions. Tackiness implies people disapproving because it’s odd or lowbrow. So most people will just respond “Who cares!” By removing the colloquialism from your vocabulary as Ariel suggests, you have to figure out what question you’re really answering - and a lot of times that will give you the answer as well.

The question you want to ask is “Will it be tacky if I ____?” If you can’t phrase it that way you start reexamining it. If the question you replace it is “Will people think I’m rustic if I ____?” then you can go ahead and go “You know what, screw them if they do! I’m proud to be a country girl.” Or whatever your thing is. If the replacement question you come up with is “Will this make people uncomfortable?” or “Will this cause me to lose the respect of people I care about?” then you know you have a legitimate concern that should be addressed.

Yay! can’t wait for my TACKY wedding sat! Thanks for the breather!

yes.

IMO:

I come here often- well actually I google read from afar most of the time but every once in a while I make it to the site…

I enjoy seeing how brides are taking it upon themselves to step outside of the box. I commend their efforts. I will, however, say that there are other times when I do feel like brides take it a bit too far. The entire reason for wanting an off-beat wedding was because the “traditional wedding” is not indicative of a couple’s relationship or the way in which their friends and family will celebrate the day. But at what point does one draw the line and say that “in our efforts to be different, are we now making decisions for the sole purpose of being different and causing a shock factor”?

While I completely agree that everyting is subject to various aesthetics… I do think that when a bride is ready to have an offbeat wedding to whatever degree that this may be… that they must still hold themselves to a level of standards and taste… so as to not have their wedding be a mockery. Sometimes trying so hard to be different can lead to a wedding which no longer focuses on the marriage itself. Throwing away a traditional element of a wedding because it is not relevant is fine… redefining every element in order to shock guests… well that is when I think that “tacky” is an appropriate word.

We could just reclaim the word and make tacky=super-awesome.

Next overused into meaninglessness word on the hitlist: Kitsch.

Very well put.

I hope that someone planning a wedding will read it and realize that they should resist the wedding industry machine, as well as well-meaning family and friends to do what THEY want, instead of having a day that follows the rules.

Great post!

Hooray for this post!

I had to add more after reading the other comments.
Like Babe**In**Total**Control of**Herself.
I decided that we need to think these through a little more.

• Feel free to add your flavors to these. I just find word play fun.;-)
  
  F

irst I will start with RUDE.
Really**Uneducated**Dolt**Expressing.
OR
Rather**Useless**Diminutive**Expression
Now for Tacky…
Thinking more on these lines.
TACK = SHARP, OR SOMETHING THAT DRAWS TOGETHER.
SO FOR US TACKY IS A COMPLIMENT! It is a SHARP IDEA that REALLY Draws the whole thing TOGETHER!!!
So to them I will say… THANK YOU!!!
–Diann…

Noooooo, Niobe! We can’t get rid of “kitsch!” I AM “kitsch!” “Kitsch” is me! I need “kitsch!” My house is decorated in “kitsch,” my favorite things are considered “kitsch,” and my wedding is going to be overflowing with “kitsch!” We can’t ditch the “kitsch!”

ariel - love it. you have no idea how much i needed to hear this!

I think this article is wonderful, and this site has helped us avoid running away to elope and planning our wedding, our way. It’s refreshing to see wonderful, tacky brides and grooms. My tacky pictures will be posted after my halloween wedding.

I like to call it eclectic and I love it all! Hahah….sure a goth wedding might not be MY style but I adore those who go with what they want….I am sure many will think my tattoos are TACKY but again I choose to think of myself as ECLECTIC….say it with me sisters

Thank you for writing this. You’re so right, tacky IS in the eye of the beholder. And the next time someone complains that my sleeves/ cupcakes/ food/ decor/ shoes-I’ll-wear-again / etc is tacky - that’s what I’m going to say.

Elizabeth, I totally hear that and it’s definitely a balance I struggle with when thinking about offbeat editorial strategy. But ultimately my goal has always been acting as a cheerleader and supporter of nontraditional couples getting married.

I’ve done a lot of critical writing in my career, and it’s nice to have OBB be the one place where I’m not reviewing or evaluating or critiquing — just supporting and rallying.

There are a lot of wedding websites out there, and I support everyone’s right to find the ones that fit with their values and needs — even if (or maybe especially if) offbeatbride.com isn’t right for you. Offbeat Bride absolutely is not going to make everyone happy — you may be better served by a site that’s less cheerleaderish and more strongly opinionated.