Comments on: Undepressing wedding memorial

By: Leah

Leah — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 00:46:53 +0000

I know this is an old post, but I read through all of the comments so someone else might too, right?

My fiance and I were lucky to have a small chapel with a solid brick wall on one side and we're displaying photos of all of the married couples in our immediate family lines and close cousins. We saw it as a way to honor everyone without having a mini funeral.

By: KJ

KJ — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 20:00:04 +0000

That is beautiful.

By: KJ

KJ — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 19:55:51 +0000

This idea to lovely and sweet. Both my grandfathers have passed and every now and then it creeps up on me that they are gone and won't be there that day. This is an elegant, subtle, but very intentional way to remember them on that day. As always, thank you.

By: andraealynne

andraealynne — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 23:52:14 +0000

thank you– this is a perfect solution for a similar conundrum for us. My partner's biological father died before he was born, and we've both lost several grandparents in the past few years. This is exactly what we need!

By: Lea

Lea — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 23:07:11 +0000

usually you have a second bouqet for the toss. I didn't know that until my florist asked if I wanted one for $15.

By: Jaymi

Jaymi — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 09:29:14 +0000

I am getting married in a month…and I have been going back and forth about how to honor my Dad, who passed 2 years ago. Missing him has been a huge part of the wedding planning…with many tears involved. I am leaving a chair for him, next to my mom, "reserved for big Z"… I feel like bringing attention to someone that has passed isn't morbid, it's the celebration of how important that life was.

By: LauraKate

LauraKate — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 03:06:15 +0000

Love that someone else sees it the same way I do!! We are planning, as part of our decor, to include a photo wall with as many wedding photos as possible from family and friends–as well as pictures of my Sweetheart's Brothers who have passed. Like life, the sweet and the bitter together. We are hoping people just feel the love for those displayed!!

By: Angi Farrugia

Angi Farrugia — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 00:56:38 +0000

My grandfather passed away a little over a year ago and I have been missing him immensely throughout the planning of my wedding. I was just having this conversation with my fiance and mother this evening about it being "creepy" having our lost loved ones pictures somewhere at our wedding. This is a wonderful remedy to my dilemma. Thank you!!

By: Jaclyn

Jaclyn — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 18:57:45 +0000

We're doing something similar at our wedding. we're having either attendants or family members carry a flower for each person that has passed (3 sets of grandparents and my aunt = 7 flowers). These flowers are being placed in a vase at the alter. My living grandparents will also place flowers in the vase. Then my parents and in-laws will each carry a flower of a different color and place in the vase. A bouquet of 13 flowers. Following the ceremony my bouqet will go in the center of the vase and be the main centerpiece at the bridal table. The names of the passed will be mentioned in our programs, as well. It's a great way to honor them without it being too sad, depressing, and awkward for guests.

By: Colleen

Colleen — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 05:55:23 +0000

My partner and I both have lost some family members in the past few years. During the ceremony, our officiant made a moment of remembrance for those who couldn't be there that day but who played an important part in our lives. This left the door open for people to think about not only those who have passed, but those who simply couldn't make it to the wedding. It was inclusive, beautiful, and not at all depressing because we were focusing on how wonderfully those people influenced us. We didn't know our officiant was going to include this but we're so glad he did.

We also did one of our readings from a book of my grandmother's that I loved reading at her house as a child. We explained the significance those in the wedding but didn't note it in the program or anything.

Had it been the right time of year, we would have harvested wildflowers or branches that my partner's stepdad planted in his grandparents' yard. Both his stepdad and grandpa have passed away.

Overall, I don't think you need to make a big deal about having a sad remembrance. Everyone will be thinking of those who are not present whether or not you name names. Focus on celebrating that these absent people made you who you are today.