Comments on: Fool-proof way to keep kids away from your wedding

By: sarah

sarah — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 09:23:49 +0000

I think it's very sad that you would feel the need to ruin the couples' day with a comment like that.

By: Ariel

Ariel — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 04:48:14 +0000

Alright, ladies. I think we've talked this one through-and-through. I'm going to close comments before things get any more hot tempered than they already have.

By: Kit

Kit — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 07:24:51 +0000

I guess my only issue here is that it's really important to make sure everyone knows their kids aren't invited, because if they drag them all the way there only to encounter a bouncer (let's face it: we all have that friend who will assume their child is invited with complete and utter disregard to setting, particularly because most bar weddings involve renting the space which means you are the meanie bouncer who makes the rules), you're going to have a lot more of a problem.

By: Cate

Cate — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 04:56:52 +0000

Hey,
I acknowledge the right of every bride and groom to invite, or not invite, whoever they want to their wedding. Kids, like everyone else, are strictly optional. But the kid-hating that is appearing on this series of posts strikes me as a bit offensive. Seeing as how we all spent a good part of our lives beings kids maybe we can not dump on them. Just as each adult's behavior and personality should be evaluated individually so should each child's.

By: cathy

cathy — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 19:17:16 +0000

I'm another one of those who just can't stand children. I already have my venue reserved for a Saturday morning, and the save the date cards are out, so changing it isn't happening.

My FI's mom suggested I put "Adult Reception" on the invites since there are no little kids in my family and she thinks the parents of the 2 in FI's family won't be offended. So….since I have the go-ahead that's what I'm doing.

By: Tracey

Tracey — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 05:03:37 +0000

My husband to be and I both have kids who are 2,3,4. We love kids but cant really afford to have everyone with kids bring them. We are having our reception at a Winery and on our wedding website empahsizing all of the adult things there are going to be to do. We are also hiring a babysitter at our house which is very close to the recetion and telling them that if they want to leave their kids with the sitter to chip in $10 per child.

By: ashilleong

ashilleong — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:36:04 +0000

Shina,
I understand that babysitters cost a lot, but each additional child would cost over $100 each (we are including accomodation as well as food) and would exclude and adult guest. Say your babysitter costs you $50 – that sucks, but if I let even 10 kids come, that costs me over $1000 and tha company of people I dearly love

And gifts? Not that important. I wouldn't mention anything ever about the cost spent on a gift, or even no gift, either as the giver or reciever.

I think it's hard sometimes, bacause parents see them and their child as a unit, while often their friends see them as separate entities. Some times it just isn't feasable to let children come – and it becomes important to let the parents know so they can make alternate arrangements.

I don't really understand how people can be insulted here. I mean, if I told people I hated their children and thought badly of their child-rearing skills, yes,that would be insulting. Having a party just for adults isn't really that bad.

By: julie o

julie o — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 17:19:07 +0000

Why would anyone ever assume their kids are invited?? You'd actually be insulted if asked not to bring them??

I thought about it for about two seconds and like another poster, realized that if I allowed kids, that would mean I had to cut down on friends. No way!!

I am having my 4 neices and nephews at my wedding and no other children. It's kind of easy because I have very few friends with kids and they asked about it and I just told them I wanted my sibs' kids and that's it. One friend was relieved- she and her husband do't get out alone much.

When kids are around, it's all about the kids. My friends can't socialize because they are parenting. They are like 1/4 "there" at the event. And I hate to say it, but in today's "my kids are magical beings" climate, disciplined children are an endangered species. Some people's kids are so free to be loud obnoxious little monsters.

By: AMber

AMber — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 17:14:27 +0000

On our wedding announcement we had "Champagne and Cake Reception 8pm" – this helped people judge if this was kid-friendly or not. We also live in Utah, so this was a clear difference than normal weddings here.

We also politely had our mothers and sisters and friends circulate the word during bridal showers, etc. that this was going to be an adult wedding and to warn people that there would be free-flowing alcohol in an upscale location.

We only had one family show up with children (besides those that traveled far to be in the wedding party) and didn't have the kids running around issue.

By: Shina

Shina — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 04:18:54 +0000

Honestly, if someone told me my son wasn't welcome, I wouldn't go. I probably wouldn't bring him anyway (I do like to get away, and I wouldn't want to have him bored at a wedding) but being told that I am not permitted to bring him….no way. If I did decide to go, I'd be deducting the amount of a sitter from the amount I'd be willing to spend on a gift. And I probably wouldn't pass up the chance to say something like "I would've brought a present, but we had to pay the sitter."

For my wedding, we're having total kid friendly zone, and an ultra late reception (after everyone's had a chance to relax for a bit) at an industrial club ala what Ariel mentioned, with no pressure on anyone that they HAVE to attend (or that they'd be missing the wedding if they didn't). That way, everyone I want there gets to be part of the ceremony without feeling like they have to shell out extra for a sitter, and we get to have our adult party too.