My fiance and I are getting married in exactly four months. We started off with an incredibly small and intimate ceremony. We both wanted to avoid dealing with my overbearing mother. Somehow, I was talked in to upping the guest list (and venue size) so that I could have "the day of my dreams." In reality…my mom has turned this into an event that is about her. My FH and I refer to her wedding policy as, "Whatever you want…as long as it's what I want, too."

Last night, a phone conversation about the guest list ended with me in frustrated tears after my mom axed several guests without my consideration. I'm sure most brides have been there: family members insisting on inviting individuals because of 'politics.' I talked to my level-headed dad today, and he told me that my mom actually said (after the argument), "At the end of the day, WE are the ones hosting."

So…basically, it's my wedding, but it's her party.

That said, keep in mind that times have changed quite a bit with wedding planning. The other day, we were talking about planning and my mom said "Hey, I've never done this before either!" Your mom probably didn't get to do all her own planning- twenty, thirty years ago, your grandma was in charge. Don't cut Mom out of the fun!

"My parents are paying for the wedding as a gift and because, in their minds, paying for a wedding is your joy and privilege as a parent. They view it much the same way as paying for my education. They are investing in my future and in a day that we will all participate in and remember forever. And they are doing so without strings, because that's how gifts should be given." -Samantha

THIS. I don't care who's paying for the wedding – the only people who get an executive say are the bride and groom (or brides/grooms). You don't give people gift cards at Christmas and then tell them what to spend it on, do you? Parents have no right to dictate their children's weddings, even if they are paying. A gift of money with strings attached is no gift.

My current problem is finding out three weeks out from the wedding that my mother invited a bunch of random acquaintances that I've never met, who aren't even close family friends, and none of them can confirm whether they're coming or not. I don't want a group of strangers at my wedding, and I'm certainly not interested in making accommodations for their sporadic schedules. I asked for their names and numbers, so I could contact them directly and maybe get a more definite answer, but my mom wouldn't give me their contact info. So I told her she'd just have to tell them to forget it. The thing is that she seems to think my wedding is her day, and that it's ok to invite whomever she wants. And this is all somehow ok because she and my dad are paying for it. Wrong! If I can't share my wedding with the people I care about – i.e. NOT total strangers – I don't see a point in having one.

The upshot is, parents have no right to interfere, even if they are funding the event. If they can't muster the maturity required to give their children a gift with no strings attached, they can choose not to give it in the first place.

Now we are 10 weeks away from the wedding (which is very small) and while neither set of parents had any input (or offered to make any inputs), my mother is now demanding to bring more of her friends to the wedding if there are any cancellations. This won't be happening and I have explained my reasons (small wedding, they already have some friends there, it's OUR 'party').

If anyone's been a 'zilla, it's my maid of honour! This is her offical title: maid-of-honourzilla. She's very traditional and I'm not. I like things to be a little out of balance, but she has tried to change a few things and has succeeded in some areas (bridesmaid's dresses – I told the bridesmaids to buy whatever they wanted to wear on the day as long as it was blue, my MOHZ didn't like the idea of different dresses on the day, so she persuaded me to get a dressmaker, so all the girls have the same style and colour of dress with a 'twist' (something different on each) etc).

This is how I handle it. I let her do what she wants in some areas, and in the areas that are important to me, I may listen to her ideas (she got married 3 years ago), but I will do what I want.

It sounds like a PP (personal problem) of your Mother's – for her to invest so much energy in hating the details of your wedding. I'm sorry you have to endure it but limit the time and information you spend/share with your Mother. It seems to cause her pain – don't allow her to pass it on to you.