Guestlist drama in Northwest Herald
I was recently interviewed for an article in the Northwest Herald, a paper in Illinois:
From tasting the cake to choosing that perfect first dance number, most wedding preparations are fun and exciting.
But there’s one task that can drive a seemingly normal couple to the brink of insanity – the guest list. For small weddings, which industry experts define as fewer than 100 people, the process is even more overwhelming.
“It’s really challenging,” said Ariel Meadow Stallings, author of the book “Offbeat Bride: Taffeta-Free Alternatives for Independent Brides.” “You feel like a bouncer at a club. You’re in charge of this VIP list.”
Comments
3 responses to this entryShiloM
April 14th, 2008 · 7:55 AM · #Is it weird that I budgeted for 150 guests, and now including the +1’s fall 20 short? I mean I really don’t have this problem, and actually feel a little bummed that I don’t have more people because looking at my list I can already tick off who won’t come. (ungrateful family feuding) I just don’t want my venue to look cavernous!
Vanessa
April 14th, 2008 · 4:43 PM · #we’re getting married in a little less than 3 months, and made a rule that we were only inviting people who we actively love and who love us, and people we have seen in the last year (or at least made regular contact). It left big gaps in the whole family tree, my god parents aren’t invited, either are some of my cousins. But I never seen them, they never contact me. Why should I have to pay for a family reunion?
Hannah
May 4th, 2008 · 7:20 PM · #I’m going through lots of drama with my guy’s family right now. His grandmother thinks “her side of the family” is under-represented, meaning her long lost, out of state brother and his kids. These are distant relatives to my fiance. He never even met them until adulthood, and has only been in their company a handful of times. And did I mention invitations have been out for a month?
It’s so hard, because I’m a control freak and I’m really angry that they’d pull what I see as a power play. But I also have to consider how standing our ground might hurt my guy’s relationship with his grandparents.
I’m with Vanessa - we invited people we are close with, whether blood relations or not. I don’t want to be bullied into opening up the guest list to random people when there are scores of non-invitees who are technically “closer” to us than these distant relatives. Rah! I think most offbeat peeps deal with this, because a lot of us want small, simple weddings that actually make sense (i.e. let’s only invite who we like!)