We went back to the drawing board looking for solutions that would make it clear we were a family. We pondered combining the first syllable of his name and the first syllable of mine, in either order; both combos would have sounded completely reasonable. My sister joked about "Manman." My father, only half-jokingly, suggested using the first syllable of my name and the second syllable of Spouse's. (There are no male descendants with our name within fourth-cousin-hood.) We never seriously considered giving girls my name and boys his name — which was good, because we have two boys!

Finally we settled on a three-syllable last name for children: Minehisman. Still Scots/Irish-sounding, still fairly simple and pleasing, and clearly related to both of us, even if my two syllables aren't contiguous. However, at the last minute (seriously, LAST minute — filling out the birth certificate on checking out of the hospital), Spouse had a tiny conflict between his feminism and his id. His father had passed away only a year before, and Spouse suddenly NEEDED that capital W at the beginning of his name. Perfectly understandable, in my opinion.

So the boys' last names are both hyphenated: Mine-Hisname. Only my first syllable is there at the front, but they're alphabetized with me, and it's pretty clear that we're related. It doesn't make me nuts to be addressed as "Mrs. Mine-Hisname" by the kids' friends. Also, we squeaked in under that 12-bubble limit for standardized test forms!

Plus, I'd always looked forward to changing my name – my first, middle, and maiden names were all super mundane, and I get a sick kind of kick out of having to finally spell my last name

But – if there weren't such strong connections to his last name, I think we would have tried for a blended last name… to me that holds the egalitarian appeal of hyphenating, without the possible spectre of a 14-syllable surname for little ones to try and spell. :p

We decided to both hyphenate to show unity and a blending of families. I definitely wanted to take his name while keeping my own, and he felt the same. (Plus his name is like a backwards name, so now we're convinced that people will finally get it right!) This has definitely met with some raised eyebrows, and his brother insists that the hyphen portion is just plain stupid, but we like it. Although judging from people's responses, it looks like we'll have some fun red tape to deal with!

I am happy to have someone who understands my name is part of my identity and who wants to honor that by making it part of his own as well – just as I honor his family.

We decided to both hyphenate to show unity and a blending of families. I definitely wanted to take his name while keeping my own, and he felt the same. (Plus his name is like a backwards name, so now we're convinced that people will finally get it right!) This has definitely met with some raised eyebrows, and his brother insists that the hyphen portion is just plain stupid, but we like it. Although judging from people's responses, it looks like we'll have some fun red tape to deal with!

I am happy to have someone who understands my name is part of my identity and who wants to honor that by making it part of his own as well – just as I honor his family.

1) Why should I need a reason? I've heard tradition cited, but "TRADITION" is the same BS argument that CA has been using to keep same-sex couples from marrying, so screw that. I have also heard that I would be insulting my family, but why wouldn't she be doing the same if she changed hers? For the record, I told my Dad far in advance, told him my reasons, and he is (at least I think) not insulted.

2) She is an only child with no male cousins. If she drops her last name, it's gone forever (and it's a beautiful name too: Farren), I on the other hand, have 4 brothers, and our last name is Johnson. Is our name really in danger of going extinct? Please.

3) I'm tired of having a generic name. When someone has to look up my account by name, I'm usually one of 40 billion "Greg Johnsons" in the system. Her last name is cool. I like it.

The only thing that pulls on the strings of my masculinity at all is the phrase "maiden name." But if enough people like me say "screw it" to tradition, maybe that word will become archaic.