Comments on: Advice for dudes changing their last names http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides Fri, 25 May 2012 12:05:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Sarah http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name/comment-page-4#comment-127447 Sarah Mon, 12 Dec 2011 02:40:14 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name#comment-127447 Oh I have to add, that we have been talking about this before we where officially engaged. And have agreed to it, as the best compromise for us. It has been a long talk, so last night took me completely by surprise with his question of us just keeping our birth names just because of how many times I did ask him if he was okay with it. Oh I have to add, that we have been talking about this before we where officially engaged. And have agreed to it, as the best compromise for us. It has been a long talk, so last night took me completely by surprise with his question of us just keeping our birth names just because of how many times I did ask him if he was okay with it.
]]> By: Sarah http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name/comment-page-4#comment-127446 Sarah Mon, 12 Dec 2011 02:38:09 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name#comment-127446 Can I tell you, my Groom and I are hyphenating, but now I feel ill to my stomach after a fight. I am doing this for lots of Reasons. I don't have a good relationship with my father, but my last name is cool. I've gotten lots of good comments on it. I like it. And nobody who knows me knows my Father (who hasn't been much of a father, mother and him are divorced). I also have a Firstname, Middle name, Mom's maiden as middle, patriname. And I have a spanish heritage (half Puerto Rican to be exact) and its the heritage I most identify with. Having a lot of names in a Spanish naming system is not unheard of. So I agree with Elizabeth. From that angle, it just seems to me to be cool. From the Angle of us both hyphenating, I am not the only one changing my last name. I wanted to do the Whole Le, or De thing with his name, but he didn't like that. So I have decided to keep my tremendously long name, and screw tradition. He had a little trouble with it since our wedding is in two weeks. Took me for an emotional roller coaster ride. He finally said "I am writing down (mylast-hislast) okay? I will do that". I still feel a bit sick to my stomach. I loved this article. Can we hear more? (and by the way he has a decent relationship with his father, I really don't want him to go through all the hassel of being teased, and I'm sure he would be, but I told him that what matters most is our marriage, not what anybody else, including family, thinks. I was already called sexist by my Grandmother for wanting him to hyphenate. Yeah me sexist. LIke the whole tradition is rooted in sexism. Okay just a tad bit bothered still about that). So in the end we are still hyphenating. Can I tell you, my Groom and I are hyphenating, but now I feel ill to my stomach after a fight. I am doing this for lots of Reasons. I don't have a good relationship with my father, but my last name is cool. I've gotten lots of good comments on it. I like it. And nobody who knows me knows my Father (who hasn't been much of a father, mother and him are divorced). I also have a Firstname, Middle name, Mom's maiden as middle, patriname. And I have a spanish heritage (half Puerto Rican to be exact) and its the heritage I most identify with. Having a lot of names in a Spanish naming system is not unheard of. So I agree with Elizabeth. From that angle, it just seems to me to be cool. From the Angle of us both hyphenating, I am not the only one changing my last name. I wanted to do the Whole Le, or De thing with his name, but he didn't like that. So I have decided to keep my tremendously long name, and screw tradition. He had a little trouble with it since our wedding is in two weeks. Took me for an emotional roller coaster ride.

He finally said "I am writing down (mylast-hislast) okay? I will do that". I still feel a bit sick to my stomach.

I loved this article. Can we hear more? (and by the way he has a decent relationship with his father, I really don't want him to go through all the hassel of being teased, and I'm sure he would be, but I told him that what matters most is our marriage, not what anybody else, including family, thinks. I was already called sexist by my Grandmother for wanting him to hyphenate. Yeah me sexist. LIke the whole tradition is rooted in sexism. Okay just a tad bit bothered still about that).

So in the end we are still hyphenating.

]]> By: Esposalejana http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name/comment-page-1#comment-120927 Esposalejana Tue, 25 Oct 2011 03:43:50 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name#comment-120927 Close friends of mine both dropped their last names and between the two of them created a last name that reflected their love of ecology and their mutual interdependence on each other and their community. For their wedding favors they gave each guest a beautifully designed shirt with a definition of their new name on the back. I still have that shirt and those friends because although they live far away, they continue to nurture their relationships in a way that affirms their chosen name. Close friends of mine both dropped their last names and between the two of them created a last name that reflected their love of ecology and their mutual interdependence on each other and their community. For their wedding favors they gave each guest a beautifully designed shirt with a definition of their new name on the back. I still have that shirt and those friends because although they live far away, they continue to nurture their relationships in a way that affirms their chosen name.
]]> By: Mary H http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name/comment-page-1#comment-120754 Mary H Sat, 22 Oct 2011 03:45:06 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name#comment-120754 I know this is way later than anyone else commenting, but I wanted to throw in my 2 cents. My fiance and I are both ditching our last names. Mine is "Henderson" and his is "Berube." We've decided to change our last name to "Berson" as a fun combination of the two. Over the last few months, we've both really gotten in to building the strength of our new Berson family (even though we aren't married yet), and the new name has helped us feel a connection to the ways in which our lives are intertwined as we work together towards our mutual future. I know this is way later than anyone else commenting, but I wanted to throw in my 2 cents. My fiance and I are both ditching our last names. Mine is "Henderson" and his is "Berube." We've decided to change our last name to "Berson" as a fun combination of the two. Over the last few months, we've both really gotten in to building the strength of our new Berson family (even though we aren't married yet), and the new name has helped us feel a connection to the ways in which our lives are intertwined as we work together towards our mutual future.
]]> By: Adica http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name/comment-page-1#comment-94879 Adica Wed, 13 Apr 2011 18:17:05 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name#comment-94879 Just start using the term "birth name" or something like that. "Maiden name" isn't even an accurate term for most women, anyway. ;) Just start using the term "birth name" or something like that. "Maiden name" isn't even an accurate term for most women, anyway. ;)
]]> By: Nicole http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name/comment-page-4#comment-91551 Nicole Mon, 07 Mar 2011 21:35:41 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name#comment-91551 My fiance is planning on doing the same thing. We are taking the first half of my name and the last half of his last name and combining the two. Our wedding is four months away. Do you have any advice for the legal procedures? My fiance is planning on doing the same thing. We are taking the first half of my name and the last half of his last name and combining the two. Our wedding is four months away. Do you have any advice for the legal procedures?
]]> By: Ariel http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name/comment-page-4#comment-74150 Ariel Fri, 13 Aug 2010 18:04:45 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name#comment-74150 Kelley, thenamechanger folks have been having technical issues lately, and we have ended our partnership with them. That said, they're solid folks -- I'll have them get in touch with you about issuing a refund. Kelley, thenamechanger folks have been having technical issues lately, and we have ended our partnership with them. That said, they're solid folks — I'll have them get in touch with you about issuing a refund.
]]> By: Kelley http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name/comment-page-4#comment-74141 Kelley Fri, 13 Aug 2010 15:36:30 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name#comment-74141 I tried using the name change kit linked on this page, thinking that since it was recommended here it would be legit. Trouble is, I entered some info and saved it for later, and now the website won't even load at all! Has anyone used thenamechanger.com and been successful or had problems like me? Please let me know, thanks! I tried using the name change kit linked on this page, thinking that since it was recommended here it would be legit. Trouble is, I entered some info and saved it for later, and now the website won't even load at all! Has anyone used thenamechanger.com and been successful or had problems like me? Please let me know, thanks!
]]> By: Alyssa http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name/comment-page-1#comment-68379 Alyssa Wed, 02 Jun 2010 06:25:41 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name#comment-68379 Never settle :) Never settle :)
]]> By: Morgan http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name/comment-page-4#comment-62500 Morgan Sat, 20 Mar 2010 19:57:43 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name#comment-62500 Heterofascist Raciopatriarchy is the best phrase ever. Heterofascist Raciopatriarchy is the best phrase ever.
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