Comments on: Making it legal

By: Jessica (Iowa)

Jessica (Iowa) — Sat, 02 May 2009 04:10:18 +0000

RE:Jenn
On April 28th gay marriage became legal in Iowa.

By: Offbeat Bride | My halloween costume: YOU!

Offbeat Bride | My halloween costume: YOU! — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 14:15:24 +0000

[...] special thanks to my dear friend Ben Haley who so graciously took the time to play bridal portraiture with me to get all these ridiculous [...]

By: Jenn

Jenn — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 02:45:15 +0000

My fi and I were planning on not getting married for the same reason. We decided after a very in-depth and passionate conversation that we would actually get married. It was a really tough and emotional decision for both of us. We're lucky enough to live in a state (Iowa) where gay marriage could be a reality in the very near future and we're also lucky enough to be married by the judge who wrote the decision that legalized sames-sex marriage in Iowa (even if it was for only one day). Thanks for sharing this story, it's something that we all need to start talking about more!

By: Jess

Jess — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:16:51 +0000

But the important question is: where did the woman on the right get her SHOES??

By: Alison

Alison — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 22:06:14 +0000

OK, sorry for the dumb comment; I see from Joriel's blog entry that it is indeed Saundrah. I was so excited to see her face in a kind of random place!

I remember Ben and Joriel's story from the book, and I think it's wonderful how they stood up for their ideals. Their marriage yesterday doesn't diminish any of that. And sometimes you have to be pragmatic.

By: Alison

Alison — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 21:59:20 +0000

Hey, is that my friend Saundrah on the right?

By: Moonspun

Moonspun — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 16:11:06 +0000

I really enjoyed that blog entry and the thought behind it. It makes practical sense. Having been partnered with a woman for 13 years and being a parent with her and now engaged to a man, I've got my own mixed feelings about entering into a legal relationship. But when I was living as a lesbian (and did have a rocking 'wedding' 10 years ago), I'd never have resented any heterosexual couple who took advantage of their rights to protect themselves and their family. The fact that a heterosexual couple makes a conscious choice like Ben and Joriel and talks about how they feel the world is unequal makes a big difference. It means something…
And I hope that parenthood is great for them both! Congrats all around!

By: Ariel

Ariel — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:41:20 +0000

Ben & Joriel did power of attorney when they did their commitment ceremony. Unfortunately, it just doesn't cover everything when babies get involved … which is the fucked up and sad reality of marriage inequality in the US.

By: Angel

Angel — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:31:22 +0000

My friends opted not to get married because of similar reasons, and when they became pregnant the family really pressured them with things like "what about the baby" or "think of your children". In the end they had a lawyer draw up papers so her guy had the power of attorney.